Thursday 3/31, Today I'm going dancing, I hope Julien goes too but he's feeling sick so I don't know if he will. But, I'm going to get ready and I'm contemplating going to the UD Tower to get the special edition Beck and then casually mentioning it to my pbf that I'll be in the area and I'll have some time to kill so if he is around maybe I can stop by. Is that weird? Too forward? Who knows if he'll even be around but maybe I'll call him at the time I would be leaving to go to Tower to see if he'd be agreeable. My stomach has butterflies just thinking about it...augh! He's so cute I just don't know what to do with myself. Hmm...OC is on tonight too...I have to take that into account. Oh, in other random news, I wrote to "you know who" at his band's profile to tell him I like the songs and he wrote back saying he'll have to play it for me in person sometime and that he'll give me a call when he can or he'll just see me at Neighbors when I'm feeling irresponsible. Soooo...we'll see how that one turns out. It did make me happy he wrote back, but I'm not quite where I was two weeks ago so I wasn't like crazy happy or anything, just pleased and taking it with a grain of salt.
Wednesday 3/30, I got off of work early and Susan came over after she got off and we just waited and waited and waited around for roomie to show up and he never did so we ate my leftovers and then we decided to go to the Rack to look for party shoes, etc. I left a note on the door and also wrote him an email cause I thought he was going to be there around 6, but by 7:30ish we decided to leave. So sure as shit as soon as we get to the Rack...we're there not more than 20 minutes and he calls and he's there. Damn it! So I tell him I'll be there in 7 minutes, but I hit every red light on the way home and when I get there, I apologize and ask if it was close to 7 minutes. And he was like "Try more like 15." Whoa chief, I already did my waiting around for your ass all evening. It was weird...I'm still weirded out about it. Anyway so he stays for a while but apparently needs a lot of room for his bottles of liquor...so I may have to do some rearranging in the kitchen. Finally he left and I called Julien but he wasn't home so I left my number with his roommate. Got ready for bed and was reading/listening to music when my cell rings and it's Julien! Yay! So we talk for a pretty long time, and he's so funny, it wasn't weird at all and we just talked forever, ok, real time, probably like 45 minutes. He told me a secret but I can't tell, I'm just so excited for him, and his woman is going to come visit him in a week. He told me some crazy stories about this other girl, and we just chatted...it was really nice. So then we said good bye and I read some and listened to music before turning in for bed.
but, we hung out for a long time, if that counts for anything. He came over around 5:30 and we hung out and just talked for a while. Then I asked him if he would come to Best Buy with me, so we went there and they didn't have the Beck special edition cd, but they had Closer so I got that. Then we went to Romio's, and I liked my sandwich I got last week better, but we just talked and talked, he's so hilarious, it's great. Then we went back to my house and talked talked talked some more and finally around 11:15 he left. I got a hug and he asked me if he could call me after his trip to Whistler. Of course I said yes...I'm smitten to say the least. I guess it's better to take it slow, right Susan? I didn't even make out with him and the "pups" stayed in the kennel. He's just so cute though, I can barely stand it. Ok, I'm done now.
Still planning on going to Neighbors tomorrow...I hope Susan's bf called her...because she NEEDS to come. I need backup for when icky guys try to dance with me. Plus it just wouldn't be 80's Night without her. I need to call "Julien" tonight and see if he's going to go and just have a chat with him cause I just think he's fantastic. He's so funny...I hope he goes. I want to write more but I'm cutting myself off. I am so happy right now...drastic change from a week ago, huh?
That's the question. I'm still unclear about this situation, but I guess we'll see where it goes this evening. My pirate bf called me last night and asked me if I wanted to hang out after I got off of work. We talked for about 45 minutes and he's going to come to Bellevue today. What the fuck am I going to suggest we do to pass the time? I want to go to Best Buy to get Closer and the new Beck, but after that...watch a movie? Assume that it will lead to making out? I don't know. Maybe he doesn't even like me like that...but the fact that I got a phone call and a message so soon after we hung out I'm guessing he kind of does. Ok, I'll write more later...I'm kinda excited.
Sunday 3/27, I got up late, went to the store (my boyfriend wasn't working) and I went over to Mom's to work out and help with Easter preparations around 2:30. Easter was fun, Jake asked if I worked at a whore house, then Kassie was like "No, I said horse house" then Chelsea came over and we just laughed and giggled the whole night. I came home to a message from my pirate bf and wrote him back. Also, Jason and I are making plans to get together and he might come to 80's Night this week, Yay! I told him I would take him to that sushi place if he wanted so we will be making plans soon enough...I am so excited, things are just great right now...I am so happy. Also I should be hearing from my roommate this week cause he wants to move some stuff in and get a key.
Saturday 3/26, I've been writing back and forth with my pirate boyfriend and then on Friday night he asked if I wanted to go see Life Aquatic, so we decided to go on Saturday and Susan was going to come too cause she hasn't seen it and to supervise a little. But then when it came down to it my bf wanted to go to lunch first, but Susan wasn't ready so I went and met him at his house. He is soooo cute, I was pleasantly surprised and he's not a midget. So he drove when we went to the U-District for lunch because I told him that I can't parallel park, and we had some Japanese food which was good then we went back to his house and watched part of an episode of Family Guy then left to go catch the movie. I didn't realize that he had already seen it, but he had, and then at the concession stand the gay guy with the pink tie and eyeliner, was like "You guys look very Euro" which I told him I would take as a compliment and then he said "Everyone likes Europeans more than Americans" so it was kind of funny, but I guess we looked like a couple? Don't know. Saw the movie, drove back to his house and then I was going to leave but we ended up talking in the rain for a good half hour. Then I left and went to Mom's and she was like, "Invite him for Easter, I need someone to make me laugh" yeah, I don't think so Mom. Then later when I was home Susan came over and we went to Applebees and they were having 80's Night or something...the music was great, pretty funny. So Susan and I just chatted for a while, and had horrible service, fun though.
Friday 3/25, I hung out at home for most of the night, but when I mentioned to Susan that I wanted to go to Nordstrom Rack to look for shoes, we decided to meet up. So we dished about her boyfriend and this week's trip to Neighbors, we also dished about what her and her boyfriend think about my boyfriend. Now, I don't think it's out of the question, but I would prefer to believe it's not true. But back at the Rack, I didn't find any cute shoes...I mean I did, but they were all too small, I fucking hate that. So I'll just have to make a couple of trips back this week to see if they get anything new in. Maybe I'll take a trip to the mall too and try to find a pair of reasonably priced party shoes. I just want to have some fun new pumps for this week's dance party. Is that so much to ask? Didn't think so. Susan and I both tried some shit on, but none of it worked for either of us...so we went to Target and got some stuff...then walked back to our cars.On my way home my Mom called and told me that Auntie Lauryn was going to be on 20/20 and that it wasn't going to be good...and it wasn't. I told Susan that it was going to be on, so her and Ka'ai watched it too. It's hard to watch that, because I know that she fucked some of the stuff up but she also just doesn't come across very well, and Mom told her not to do in the first place cause they fucked them over the last time, but AL didn't listen and now I think she looks even worse. But even if she did come across well in say, even half of it, it's not like they would play those parts, cause they don't want her to come across well, the angle is for her to be the bad guy.
So anyway, it was bad.I'm making plans to see Life Aquatic with my pirate boyfriend today, and I think Susan is going to come too. We'll see how that goes...
I hope not, because as much as I joke about being a stalker, I don't really think of myself as one. My boyfriend might though. Judging from his blog, I feel like I should know for sure, but I don't, so I'll assume the message is not for me.
Susan's boyfriend called her tonight and they're going to go to Tower and then hang out at his place tonight...then dancing! I'm jealous...I want to go dancing tonight but I know that I will totally regret it tomorrow...so I'm staying home and hopefully I'll live it up this weekend. I need to call Missy...maybe she wants to go out...ok I just called and she's already in bed because she was up late last night at the GC show. Hopefully Susan will want to go next week cause I'm pretty sure I'm going to want to go next week. If I don't end up doing anything during the weekend it just makes sense to go out on Thursday...except that work sucks on Friday. The choices I must make.
I cleaned my room a little bit today...I need to do some other cleaning this weekend cause my new roomie is supposed to be moving some stuff in...shit, I need to sweep out the garage, I hope it's sunny this weekend, that would make it less miserable. Maybe if it's nice tomorrow I'll go for another walk. My legs are sore today, but that only means that I'm getting my workout!
Not much else...I wrote to my pirate boyfriend, kind of a long one, we'll see what happens there. This week went by really quickly which is always nice. Oh, Kristel is on Myspace now...yay! Now I can forward her profiles and stuff, how exciting. Maybe I'll take a shower now...I love taking showers at night...turn the lights out, and turn up the heat!
I just need to learn to get over myself. I don't like being sad, and right now I am anything but. It's beautiful outside...I'm almost done with work...tomorrow is Friday...life is wonderful. I'm going to relax tonight and watch the OC, missed it last week so I'll have to read the synopsis online. Golly nads. I need to make some plans for the weekend so I don't just sit around the house. Hmmm....let the planning begin!
I feel like I should. I've gone from one emotional spectrum to the other in the last 24 hours, and am now currently back somewhere in the middle. I don' t even remember what I wrote last night, but I know I was down and feeling a bit overdramatic. I just need to stop fucking overanalyzing things and just chill. It really pisses me off that I'm like this. (Put on list of things to work on!) Anyway, I'm feeling much much better...not 100% about all of this nonsense, but I'm feeling alright. Mom sure is getting her two cents in, but I'm not going to follow her advice I don't think, I'm just going to see what happens and if something does I'm not going to apologize for it. I'm being cautious cause I don't want to go through what I went through last night, again anytime soon. Does that sentence make sense? Whatevs. I know I should have gone to the Graham Coxon show tonight for many reasons but I'm a little glad I didn't, for just as many reasons. I'm listening to my new-old Wilco cd. Myspace fucking sucks right now...you can't change your profile, add comments to blogs, and something else that I can't remember right now, but I know it's pissing me off...oh, pictures, you can't upload, well if I would have fucking known that, I wouldn't have deleted one of them in order to put a new one up. Stupid myspace, I hope they get their shit together soon. I'm not really as irritable as I sound right now. I just feel like a stupid overdramatic girl responding to a possibly dumb boy, so I'm irritated with myself. I should fucking know better! Hello Matt! LEARN TO LOWER EXPECTATIONS! Ok, I'm trying but it's hard...is it so hard to think that a cute boy might think I'm cute too? Why is that so outlandish? Why does it seem that short little Mexicans and old men rockin the ponytail are the only interested parties...or at least the only ones who approach me or seem to have any interest in me? I mean, I know I'm not ugly...so...maybe my standards are too high...but I'm not going to start lowering them, I'd rather be by myself thank you. Why am I so whiny? I don't want a boyfriend...I guess it would just be nice to hear something from a cute boy like "I think you're pretty and nice, but I don't think it would ever work out" and actually have them mean it, not just "letting me down easy." I would love to hear that...cause hell, dude, I know it wouldn't work either, but I still think you're foxy and would tell you that, I mean, come on, it's a confidence booster right? For someone who doesn't want to write anything, I sure am getting a lot of things off of my chest. Ok, things aren't all bad, in fact almost everything is wonderful so why am I dwelling on the not-so-perfect aspects? I don't know. Here are some good things though: Went to the park today after getting off of work a half hour early (oh snap!) and walked 4 miles, then Susan came and we did a lap and chatted and looked at the cute trapeez (sp?) boys, I had dinner at my Mom's house and it was very good, my cabinets are almost paid off after this month's payment (God damn that will feel good!), I have a lot of people who love me and support me and that is the most important of all. I'm very lucky...many people have my back, punching walls and formulating angry messages even! So enough of the "poor me" act, I am hap hap happy and I need to let the other stuff go. WHOOOSH. Ok, it's gone.
But not really. Susan and I went out and she made me feel a little better, at least we had some laughs. We got to see Mike B and we talked with him for a while. They just dissed my boyfriend, and it made me feel a tad better. We also went to this great place called Romio's, I think, and it was so good. I have a huge sandwich leftover for tomorrow...mmmm...fuck _____. That was my motto for the evening. Susan was ready to fuck shit up...I guess it's just not fun to feel like you've been rejected...not only in the "girlfriend" department but also in the "just friends" category...I feel like I got dissed in both. Susan has it right though...you feel like you know so much about a person and know them so well and want to be accepted by them cause you think they're really great, or something, and then to be totally ignored, it sucks, but you never really knew them to begin with and they sure as hell don't know you from the next psycho, so what can you expect? Perhaps I am reading waaayyy to much into it, which is possible, but I can't help but feel that if he really liked me or was interested at all, that I would have heard something so looking at it from that angle I have to assume that there is no interest. Ok, I'm tired and going to log on one more time to see if I get any love...from anyone, I've learned not to expect one from him. I'm sad for the first time in a long long time. Waaaahhhh.
thinks I'm in love with him or something. I'm sad. I just read his latest blog and I'm pretty sure he's not interested in me AT ALL. Oh well, at least I have a new pirate boyfriend that I have to write back to. A rhyme huh? I'll work on that.
I mean, not really...but I'm on myspace and I see some guys's profile and he has a clip playing of this Asian chick with huge boobs and she's, like, spanking this other girl's ass with her boobs. I'm not just saying, like, "oh, that's so gross!" and then secretly being interested in looking at it...or something. I mean, I am really looking at that and going, "yuck" who looks at this and gets turned on or is amused by it. Initally, I was going to forward the profile to Susan cause I thought she would think it's funny, but then I was looking at it and it just makes me feel icky. Don't get me wrong, this wasn't hardcore or anything, I mean Christ, I worked at Tower and Susan and I would restock the porn on Sundays and there is some gnarly shit in circulation. So it's not even that offensive, I just get a dirty feeling when I look at it. Is there something wrong with me...I mean obviously I was curious enough to view the profile in order to get a better look, but after I did I just wanted to get the hell out of there and I logged off. So I think I'm kind of a prude...but officially, I'm not sure, I just know that I was grossed out and questioning why the hell I would have wanted to get a better look at this video clip. Now I have to try and go to sleep. Maybe I'll log on for a minute and look at one of my boyfriend's profiles.
Oh well. I need to stop thinking about it...I'm not sure how many times I'll say that before I finally mean it...but perhaps the effect will wear off soon enough. My other boyfriend is kind of dissing me too. The effect has been wearing off on that one over time, especially since he's moving to New York and has been less attentive to my messages. I'm still glad we're friends and I hope we get to hang out once before he leaves
Watching Dangerous Liaisons, and I thought it was like Cruel Intentions, and sure enough it is...having already seen Cruel Intentions has helped me to understand what the hell is going on and makes it so I don't have to watch it very closely and can still do other stuff...like this. Or stalk on myspace. This one guy IMd me tonight and he's nice enough, but too old and Scott Peterson-ish for me. This guy is such a player and he is gross. He reminds me of someone I made out with once...and that's a bad thing. She should just punch him right now, arg, what a dick. God, my eyes are dry, I want to take out my contacts but I'll wait until the this is over. Christ, I think I have another half hour, I feel like I've been watching it for 4 hours or something.
Big day today. Alix spent the night last night so we got up around 8:30 so I could drive her home and she could finish her cookie/Tolo project. So I work out, and then Dad gets all attitude-y with me about not driving her to the church and is like "the next time you want something from me, don't bother asking" and I was like "don't you think you're being a little over-dramatic?" apparently he didn't think so. What bullshit, I was pissed. Plus the marathon and that dick cop really put me over the edge, I hate those fucking marathons, whose idea is that to have a marathon on an island that has like one freeway entrance and you can't get to it for an entire morning. I wanted to run that guy over "nope, you can't get to the freeway right now" what bullshit. Asshole.
Anyway, so after dealing with two assholes this morning I went home, showered, ate breakfast, and got ready for the open house. Spent four hours doing that in an amazing house. Went and did my grocery shopping and talked briefly with my boyfriend there...last week was more exciting than this week, though now that he knows my name he said "Hello Karrah" which was nice cause it shows that he remembered.
Kristel called so I went to her house for dinner, she always cooks for me, and I feel bad so I bring the dessert, but it's not quite even. I hadn't seen her since before I went dancing at Neighbors for the first time, so there was plennnnnty to fill her in on. She didn't have quite as many stories, but the ones she did have were gooood. We watched friends, made brownies, and just chatted...the usual...but it's always so much fun, it never gets old.
Now I'm home and trying to make my rounds with phone calls...Susan, check....Dad, check...Auntie Lauryn, no answer, left message...Zach, next on my list. I wish someone would call me, but I need to get over it, and I know I do, but it's hard. I guess I secretly enjoy it...or something. Whatevs, here's to trying to think of something else for 5 minutes.
for Alix to call so I can go pick her up. We're going to do a sisters sleepover here at my house. I figure we'll go to Best Buy, maybe a movie, dinner, perhaps a little DQ since it's so close to my house. I'm not actually sure what's she's going to want to do.
Well I'm still giddy from my night of dancing, though the excitement fades as there is no response to my offering...oh well, not sure what I'm expecting...but it would be fantastic if I did hear back from him. Going to try not and sweat it though...I hate being so obsessive. I wish I had a whole bunch of other stuff going on right now so I wouldn't have to think about it so much. At least I'm really glad for Susan cause her boyfriend wrote to her...so exciting! She's afraid I'm going to steal him, but I have no intention of that. I'll just talk to him when Susan uses the restroom...I'll have to tell him to lay off hitting on my boyfriend though, he's too cute that I'm afraid he'll turn my boyfriend gay. Anyway, I hope Susan gets to hang out with him sometime soon, we'll see if she decides to hit 80's night this week. I'm out unless I get an invite...I just can't handle Fridays in the office...it just sucks cause the party does start getting good at 12, and that's the latest I should be staying out. I did 1 this week and it was sooo fun, but I'm still in the process of readjusting. Plus I slept so shitty Thursday night....to much to think about I guess, in a good way. We'll see if I get any kind of response...I hope I do, it would absolutely make my week (Christ, it would make my month!), so here's to hoping. Keep your fingers crossed...
Susan came over after work and we talked about our new "boyfriends" for like 2 hours. We are both so exstatic, it's pretty funny. At least we can get it out of our system with each other and limit how much we subject to other people. It also helps that each other was there to witness the others escapades. I'm still all smiles...and just sent my boyfriend a message so we'll see if anything comes of it. I'm not going to hold my breath judging from the past responses I've received, but it can't hurt right? What the worst that can happen, I get no reply? Ouch, never experienced that before. Ok, watching Pirates of the Carribean and am going to write back to my new pirate boyfriend on Friendster...he seems funny so he gets a response. Otherwise I'm turning in early.
Cripes. I'm tired. My giddiness is wearing off as my tiredness increases. I popped half of a caffeine pill to try and help me make it through the hour and half I have left at work. I shouldn't be on this thing right now, but I just finished a whole bunch of filing so I'll just take a couple of minutes. So Susan has some gossip for me and we're going to dish later tonight after I get off of work. We're both in love...ok, not really, but very excited about our night out on the town. We should make a movie "Susan And Karrah Go To The Big City," which would highlight all of our adventures out. Ok, don't know what I'm talking about, but we both had a fantastic time last night, and I know that I am definitely paying the price today. Why can't I be getting off of work early today...today of all days...come on! Oh well. At least I think this "cup of coffee" is starting to kick in a little.
How excited am I?? So excited. Ok, went dancing and it was so much fun! Not only did Susan find a new gay boyfriend and he is sooo cute and funny and nice, but I saw my mystery man there and we talked a bunch AND then after I told him I was leaving and was halfway down the alley, I hear footsteps and it's him and he came to walk me to my car. How sweet...well he said he needed some fresh air, but I'll assume it's partly because he wanted to walk me to my car. How exciting...ok, even if it doesn't go anywhere "romantically" he's still a very nice guy and funny, so I'd settle for just having a new friend. Ok, off to bed, I am very tired and have to work in the morning, ugghhhh. YAY!
Getting ready to go to Neighbors right now for a little St. Patricks Day outing. Susan is going to drive and I'm going to meet her there. I am very proud of her, and hope that she really does stick it out until they close. The only thing I'm worried about right now is parking...I fucking hate trying to park...I'm so bad at it. I either have to have someone tell me how to get into the spot, or have someone actually park the car for me. This is ridiculous, I am having Kassie teach me so I can conquer this fear of and inability to park. Anyway, back to dancing...this will be the third week in a row that we've gone...Kassie and Chelsea came the first week and Missy came last week and I just had so much fun. There's someone that I'm hoping to see there...but I'm not going to publish it here because who the hell knows where this may end up or who will read it. Anyone that actually knows me will know who I'm talking about so I guess it's not that big of a secret. So as of now I'm all ponced up like a pack of bleeding woofters, and I hope it's for a good reason, but I'm not entirely count on it. Susan wants me to bring a spare pair of shoes in case my boots kill my feet, but I'm not going to do it...I'll be fine. I'm so tall in them, I tower over people...which can be weird, but I've gone this long, I'm getting used to it. Whatever, this is boring so I'm not writing anymore. I'm leaving in 15 minutes cause Susan just said that she's getting ready to leave. Ok, wish me luck, I hope they play good songs tonight.
Testing testing...just checking to see how this works. I told Susan tonight at dinner that I was thinking about starting one of these...so here I am, Wednesday night, Celebrity Poker Showdown is on and I'm writing my first official blog. Nothing to report, but if I think about it for a little bit I'm sure I'll think of something remotely interesting.
