Tuesday 7/11, I got out of work early so I decided to go on my long walk (a little over 3 miles) when I got home and was really surprised when at about the half way point I wasn’t even tired yet, but by the time I got home I was feeling it. I made some dinner and Susan and I watched our usual shows and toyed with the idea of going down to the Emerald Queen Casino to try out for it. That would be hilarious. She’s really good though, she always gets the puzzles way before any of the contestants do. After our shows she checked plane tickets and decided she wants to go to Oakland for her birthday so she made a call and booked it so I’m going to take her and pick her up when the time comes. Now I’ve got a month to get a cute boy back to my house so we can make out. It’s too bad Troy is so crazy otherwise I’d just call him because making out with him was hot. It’s the turning crazy part that isn’t hot and makes it totally not worth it. I called Chrystol after I got out of the shower because I wanted to warn her that I had said something to B and I didn’t want her to get tangled up in it, so I gave her a heads up and we ended up talking until 11:00 and I was enlightened by some very interesting information but I’m not divulging on here. It’s not that big of a deal anyway. After I got off the phone with her I finished a chapter in my book and next up is “Polynesia”.
Monday 7/10, I hit the store after work for a few work-week necessities then went home and got ready to go on a walk. I did my short one because I was feeling tired but knew that I needed to get out and do something physical. I wish I were doing something physical besides walking if you know what I mean. After I got back I made dinner and Susan and I watched Wheel of Fortune and House Hunters. After they were over I went up to my room and right at about 8:05 my phone rang and it was B. I hesitated before answering but then I thought, I’ve got a lot to say to him and if he’s going to call me and then I might as well give it to him. So we talked for over an hour and I feel a little better because I got to actually tell him how his actions affected me and I think he feels guilty for how he did it. Whether or not he would change anything if given the chance will remain unseen but I would hope that he would. Some of the things he said hurt, but then again I thought most of it was bullshit. He said he got bored when we would sit around and he felt he had nothing to say to me and that he would rather go out and cut the lawn than sit and talk to me. I can’t go into everything on here because there’s just too much, but I basically told him that it was all bullshit and that if he had really wanted to salvage something he would have made some sort of effort to change our relationship though he denies that this would have worked and that he didn’t want to change me as a person. Listen ass, us reading a book together and then discussing it as a means of communicating and sharing interests isn’t you CHANGING me, it’s making both of us better people and expanding our knowledge together and taking our relationship to another level. But again, he didn’t think any of this would have changed anything because there were other inconsequential things he chose to dwell on and use as factors in deciding to break up with me. Whatever, I do feel better because he did express a tiny interest in having a conversation when I come by to see Chrystol. There’s so much more, Kay-See I’ll have to tell you about it because I think you’ll get a kick out of it, like when I told him 3 or 4 times that he made me feel like a piece of garbage, just to really drive the point home. So I’ll save the rest for later. After I got off the phone I went into Susan’s room and we talked about it and apparently she knew I was talking to him because she “heard a few choice words” coming from my room. I felt better and not empty like Mom said I would and that I think maybe I can move to the next step of this grieving process because it sucks where I am right now. I don’t like being depressed about this, I wish it was as easy for me to get over, but it’s not and that’s what makes me me. So we’ll see which direction I go in over the next couple of weeks. Maybe I can let go of some of the anger and realize I’m better off. We’ll see, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. I read some more of my book before going to sleep and I slept like a baby.
Monday 7/10, I hit the store after work for a few work-week necessities then went home and got ready to go on a walk. I did my short one because I was feeling tired but knew that I needed to get out and do something physical. I wish I were doing something physical besides walking if you know what I mean. After I got back I made dinner and Susan and I watched Wheel of Fortune and House Hunters. After they were over I went up to my room and right at about 8:05 my phone rang and it was B. I hesitated before answering but then I thought, I’ve got a lot to say to him and if he’s going to call me and then I might as well give it to him. So we talked for over an hour and I feel a little better because I got to actually tell him how his actions affected me and I think he feels guilty for how he did it. Whether or not he would change anything if given the chance will remain unseen but I would hope that he would. Some of the things he said hurt, but then again I thought most of it was bullshit. He said he got bored when we would sit around and he felt he had nothing to say to me and that he would rather go out and cut the lawn than sit and talk to me. I can’t go into everything on here because there’s just too much, but I basically told him that it was all bullshit and that if he had really wanted to salvage something he would have made some sort of effort to change our relationship though he denies that this would have worked and that he didn’t want to change me as a person. Listen ass, us reading a book together and then discussing it as a means of communicating and sharing interests isn’t you CHANGING me, it’s making both of us better people and expanding our knowledge together and taking our relationship to another level. But again, he didn’t think any of this would have changed anything because there were other inconsequential things he chose to dwell on and use as factors in deciding to break up with me. Whatever, I do feel better because he did express a tiny interest in having a conversation when I come by to see Chrystol. There’s so much more, Kay-See I’ll have to tell you about it because I think you’ll get a kick out of it, like when I told him 3 or 4 times that he made me feel like a piece of garbage, just to really drive the point home. So I’ll save the rest for later. After I got off the phone I went into Susan’s room and we talked about it and apparently she knew I was talking to him because she “heard a few choice words” coming from my room. I felt better and not empty like Mom said I would and that I think maybe I can move to the next step of this grieving process because it sucks where I am right now. I don’t like being depressed about this, I wish it was as easy for me to get over, but it’s not and that’s what makes me me. So we’ll see which direction I go in over the next couple of weeks. Maybe I can let go of some of the anger and realize I’m better off. We’ll see, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. I read some more of my book before going to sleep and I slept like a baby.
posted by Karrah at 9:19 AM
2 Comments:
I would especially like to hear this story while floating on a tube in the river. That way when I want to smack someone upside the head, I'll have too far to go to do it.
Cripes you make me laugh :)
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