Thursday 9/7, I found a whole bunch of pictures online on someone’s flickr account of B and that girl Leia, so of course I can’t look away but at the same time am revolted and start feeling lightheaded. I got pretty upset to say the least. It was him and this girl going to a wedding, hanging out in the backyard at B’s, with Schuyler, at the library downtown, at a park wearing each other’s accessories and having a gay old time. I got so sad and mad that, well, I started crying at work, that’s always good…and felt like absolute shit. I wanted to call him up right then and tell him how much of a fucking asshole he is and that if I never saw his face again it would be too soon. But I refrained through some miracle and instead just felt terrible all day. On top of that I called Eric (before I found the pictures of B) and left a message apologizing for the previous night and hoped he wasn’t all weirded out by it and blah blah blah, and usually he calls me back within an hour and there was no such call. So then I start thinking that he doesn’t want to ever talk to me again so that put me in a super mood in addition to the B stuff. I rolled out of work at my usual 5:00 and cried on the way home, not because I’m not with him or miss him or anything, but because once again I feel like a piece of garbage and he’s just totally moved on and will never look back. I got home and talked to Susan about it a little and told her I didn’t know if I would be up for dancing but that I was going to lay down and let the evening unfold. I started watching SatC and about halfway through my first episode my phone rings and it’s Chrystol and she can sense in my voice that I’m not feeling good and asked if it were an ailment or emotional and I told her emotional and then started spilling about how I found all these pictures and know that he’s now “In a Relationship” with her and that some of the pictures were in their backyard and that I’d had visions of the four of them frolicking together and how much they love her now instead of me, like I’m out of the club. She tells me that he’s not seeing her anymore, and then asks how much I want to know, but then says that I’ve already got my fingers in the mud so she may as well tell me all of it and that she hadn’t because she didn’t know if I wanted to hear it and I hadn’t asked so, yeah. She starts telling me all about B and Leia, some other girl B dated after me that broke it off with him because he offended her when he said that people shouldn’t expect him to buy them gifts and things, then there’s this new girl that he’s seeing that apparently he’s been stalking through the Stranger personals. Anyway, so I talked to Chrystol forever and she made me feel so much better for a number of reasons and had originally called to see if I was going to Neighbours and that if I was and hadn’t had dinner yet, if I wanted to get dinner first, so by the time our conversation was wrapping up I thought that would be fun and that I would go dancing too, so I hopped in the shower, got ready and was out the door a little before 7:00. As I was pulling up to their house Susan called and I could see B and some girl out front with Chrystol, Schuyler and the neighbors, and the girl ran to her car and took off as I was sitting there talking to Susan…so that’s the new gf. She’s a brunette, tall and drives a Pontiac Vibe. Anyway, so as I’m chatting with Susan, Eric beeps in (finally!) so I ask if I can call her back, I talk to Eric for a minute and told him I didn’t think I would be hearing from him again and he asked “Why, cause you’re mad at me?” and I said no, how could I be mad at someone that cute and then gave him a whole bunch of other compliments and he was like “Keep going…” it was cute, so I told him I was going to dinner with some friends and would call him later to hang out. By this time B had gone in the house so I talked with C & S and the neighbors for a minute before we all went in and paged through some magazines, most notably “International Male” and also the International Male underwear catalog, and they were both hilarious and made me feel a little dirty. B came back out and said hi and was trying to join in the conversation and though I gave him a half-hearted “Hi” I pretty much ignored him for the rest of the time. Eventually we took off to go into Fremont to get some Thai and when we were in the parking lot Chrystol mentioned that she had thought about asking me if Eric wanted to come but didn’t want it to be weird, but I was all about it and called him to see if he wanted to come down, he said yes, so we went in and got a table for four and waited for him to show up. We talked and I showed pictures and finally Eric showed up with his skateboard (how cute!) and sat down. We ordered and apparently they give girls bigger plates and meals according to the “Winter Portions” that are put into place. Eric wasn’t very talkative but we all had a good time and had some good laughs, especially at the “Roman Shower” and “Red Wings” discussions, and something to do with me licking my lips that Schuyler caught. I kept pestering Eric about going to Neighbours later because he was saying he didn’t want to go but I had a feeling I could change his mind. Chrystol suggested skipping Neighbours to hang out alone, and I said I would like that but that Susan would kill me. Eric asked me if I wanted to go to Carnation on Saturday morning and I told him I would love to so we’ll see how that goes too. Um, anyway, so we finally leave and I tell him he should ride with us back to the house because my car’s there so we headed into the parking garage but C & S had to do some light shopping so Eric and I hung out in there with him doing tricks on his skateboard and sharking on me. He decided he would go to Neighbours so that made me happy, then C & S came back down and Eric tried to do some trick up the wall but it ended up looking more like he just ran into it. We drove back to the house while talking about break dancing and Roman Showers again and how the combination at Neighbours would be really great. Sick. We got back to the house, said our goodbyes, then Eric and I kissed in the street a little bit and took off to his house so he could change. We drove up to Michael’s where him and Rebecca were watching Boogie Nights and drinking. Michael asked if we would ever do one scene in a porn for $1 million and I said no, he said he would. Then he asked if I’d ever done coke and I shook my head vigorously, but I’m pretty sure I was the only one in the room that hasn’t, yikes! At 11:30 I told them I needed to go so Eric walked me out but we didn’t make it past the stairwell before he pushed me down onto the stairs and started making out with me, but I pushed him off me and Susan called right then, so he walked me the rest of the way down and I told him to hurry up and come to Neighbours (they were waiting for Michael’s friends to arrive from the airport) and took off. I got rock star parking and went in and the new bouncer said he recognized me so I didn’t need to show my id, yay! Found Susan and danced to a few songs, then got some water and did a lap, but there wasn’t much to see there that night. Except Brett, mmm, Brett. He’s hot and does this thing with his arm when he dances, it kills me. Some goth guy hit on Susan so we darted to the bathroom. Finally we went out so I could call Eric and it didn’t sound like they were going to be making it before I had to leave so I told him I would call him when I was leaving to see if he needed a ride home. Went back in and danced some more, saw Craig and wished him a happy birthday then Susan told him he was in her club now, and I don’t think he took comfort in that. Nothing exciting happened and I knew Eric wasn’t coming so at 1:00 I left. The bouncer gave me this super long hug and wouldn’t let go and then tried to pick me up, and I was like “Uh uh, no one picks me up!” so that put him in his place. Went and picked Eric up, took him home then headed home myself and went to bed.