Wednesday 9/6, After work I went on my walk but didn’t take my watch so when I got back I figured it was around 6:00, but if I’d just done the math I would have realized that that would have been impossible, and instead it was 6:35 and I wanted to leave the house by 7:00 to go to Ky’s thing so I had to bust ass. I made some potatoes for dinner then hopped in the shower and got ready and was out the door a few minutes after 7:00 and cruised into Seattle without any traffic. I parked a few blocks down from Rosebud and walked up, concealed the cookies as I walked through the door and out to the back patio to find Kay-See and Ky. I got hugs and we all chatted until more people showed up. Ky told us some funny stories and did some hilarious impressions, which would prove themselves accurate later in the night. Kelly showed up and we all talked about going to SF in the spring just to go to H&M, then Neil at the back gate and he looked adorable in this little sweater vest and tie, I almost died, and finally Cory and Richie. There were more hugs and talking and Kay-See escorted me inside to get a Shirley Temple, then we discussed the Shirley Temple vs. the Roy Rogers with Richie. When I went to sit back down in my chair next to Neil he put his hand down so I sat on it and I almost died! He was being so saucy! Kay-See left around 8:30 and I decided to stick around for a while longer but knew I wanted to meet up with Kassie too, so the group of us just talked and laughed and finally most of the other people cleared out from the patio and they turned the lights out so the atmosphere was very cool. At 9:15 I attempted to leave and said my goodbyes. I gave Ky a long hug and didn’t want to let go, then Neil and he says to Kyky “We might be married by the time you get back” and again I almost died, but in a very good way! Ha, so I go into the bar to say goodbye to Richie and he’s like “I can tell you’re leaving, with the coat and the purse and everything” and the bartender is like “Don’t go yet, I’ll make you a Shirley Temple on the house” so I asked him how he knew I didn’t drink and he was like, “I can just tell, here I’ll make you a mocktail, I don’t get to do those very often” but I told him no, I really had to go, so he said he would make it anyway and I didn’t have to drink it, but after he made me this pretty pink drink in a martini glass with a whole bunch of garnish, I couldn’t say no. So Richie and I devised to say it was a real drink and that since it was free I couldn’t turn it down. So I said thank you to the bartender and we went back out and sat down. Kyle and Neil were both taking pictures and Richie is such a little devil and he just kept smiling at me slyly. He leans over and says, “Let’s never tell them the truth” so I agree, but here I am publishing it on here, so we’ll see who ends up finding out. Neil called me out a little, saying, “I feel like we’re being lied to” but Richie and I covered up pretty well I think and the subject got changed. I pounded my drink because more friends showed up and I wanted to give up my chair, so I said good bye again, said I was fine to drive and walked to my car. I called Eric to see if he wanted to go with me to Kassie’s since I still wanted to see him at some point. He said he was up on Phinney Ridge and to come pick him up and he would go with me, so I head up, park and go into the Chupacabra or whatever it is, and there’s Jason and Stacy along with Sarah and the friend that had been trying to have sex with Eric a few nights previous. Everyone was having a good time though, and I got the impression that I had been a topic of conversation prior to arriving and ended up chatting mostly with Sarah about Bellevue and Seattle before really talking to Eric. Then Stacy and E did “cranky baby” for me and that was pretty hilarious. After sitting there for quite a while (10:15 by this point) I told him I really had to go and asked if he still wanted to come along, he said yes, so we took off. Got to Kassie’s and we made out in the car for a minute then he carried the box of Auntie Peggy’s clothes in for me and we went upstairs to do introductions. Her friend Derek was over and we mostly listened to Kassie’s stories about Europe then they all smoked while I just sat there and finally around 11:45 I said we were going to go but first all went downstairs to go through the clothes and Kassie tried on a hilarious “one-sie” or what is otherwise commonly known as a bodysuit and a big shoulder pad style blouse over it. It was really funny. Then Derek left and Kassie started interrogating Eric and brought up weed and was going off about it, so then he was all worried that things were going to be weird because it was now out in the open how we each feel about it, so I thanked Kassie for stirring the pot and we made our way out, but not before she told Eric that I was the best girl he’d ever get and that it’s nothing personal, just that I’m her sister. So Eric and I got in the car and started driving to Ballard so I could drop him off and I talked a little more about how I felt. He said I know where he stands, and I said the same thing back because as much as I have to figure out if his smoking weed is something I want to “deal with” he’s got to figure out if hanging out with someone who doesn’t and is uncomfortable with it is something he wants to deal with. He kept saying, I feel like I got to know a little bit more about Karrah, but at the same time I think he was weirded out a little, even though he’d go back and forth from really saying it. So we got to the bar and sat in the car for a minute then kissed a little, then he went in and I headed home. Pulled in the garage at 12:30 and went straight to bed, but not before contemplating calling him and telling him that there are like 20 things that I find really attractive about him and like about him and I think it kind of sucked that one of the few things that I’m not crazy about got brought up and nitpicked for the evening, but I think I’ll do that later today instead.

Tuesday 9/5, I looked at B’s profile and he’s changed his status to “In a Relationship” which put me into a funky mood all day. Fucking asshole. “I don’t want to be in a relationship while I’m in school. I won’t be able to focus on school and give you enough time.” Yeah, right. I don’t know why I’m surprised, I went through being angry and sad to hurt and pissed off. I decided to delete the comments I had left him while we were together and then deleted him off my friends list, because I was mad, and well, he’s not my friend. He’s a fucking opportunist, insincere and narcissistic. I still want to let him have it, but can’t decide whether it’s worth it or not. We’ll see. Also, Missy deleted me from her friends list. Weird. I suppose Erick and Fair will be the next to delete my ass. Movin on! Anyway, after work I went on my walk but was fairly preoccupied with stupid B, then made dinner and made a batch of chocolate chip cookies, though I ran out of chocolate chips so I incorporated some butterscotch chips in too. They are surprisingly good. I think I’ll take them to Rosebud and give some to Kyle as a going away treat. After my cookies were done I showered, folded laundry and watched tv. At 9:30 Eric called to say he was off work so I invited him over to make out but he said he might be going to Portland and would call me back, but didn’t until 10:30 to say he wasn’t going to Portland, but also wasn’t coming over and that we would hang out tomorrow. Well, I said, I’ve got this thing for a friend so I’ll call you and see if we can work something out. After that I went to bed and had some super fucked up dreams about B, ghosts in our old Mercer Island house, flying around really high with Kay-See in some ski-gondola style seats without seat belts and showering in a locker room with a bunch of girls and attempting to keep the boys outside the door from seeing in. Wee-eird.