Tuesday 11/12, After work I hauled ass around the house picking up and getting ready for Kay-See and Ky to come over. I showered and dressed then put some music on and started cutting up the chicken. They got there at like 6:30 maybe and it was like being hit with a wall of giggling energy. They brought chips and dip and salsa and some wasabi soy sauce nuts or something. I kept going on the dinner and luckily it’s like the easiest recipe in the world because it’s so hard for me to concentrate when there are fun people around and lots of yummy snacks and things to talk about. While dinner was cooking we all talk and Kyle went upstairs to pick out a movie but couldn’t decide but ended up choosing Happy Endings, which I love, so that made me happy and then dinner was ready. We sat in the living room eating dinner in front of the tv watching the movie, then we had organic ice cream. After it was over we all talked about loud moaning and dirty talking / house shaking / bed squeaking sex experiences. Then Kyle tells me I should write Eric a text message that doesn’t ask him to come over but instead commands it: Get your ass over here and fuck me on my kitchen counter. So we’re all laughing about it then they suggested really doing it, and let’s face it, it didn’t take much outside encouraging so I did it and squealed when I hit the send button. About 3 minutes later my phone rings, Kyle says “I told you” and him and Kay-See run upstairs giggling all the way. I answer and he laughs into the phone “What the fuck is this?” and I couldn’t stop laughing and told him to come over and officially invited him. He told me he had plans but they could be rearranged and that he really wanted to come over then goes on to say he’d been looking at the pictures from Stevens Pass and that the only good one out of 15 was the one of me without him in the picture because his face would only muck up any good picture. I rebuffed him. He said he had to call me back in a few minutes so I ran upstairs going “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD” and Kyle’s like “See?” so I filled them in on the conversation then we went into the kitchen while I continued cleaning up and Kyle was verse-ing us in the simplicity that is the male mind. My phone rang again and he’s like “Ok, I’m coming over” so we’re all giggling and they’re both glad that one of us will be having sex so they gather their things so I can get ready. We exchange hugs and salty chicken and they took off. As I got back upstairs my phone rings and it’s him again saying it’s not such a good idea and all this nonsense and I’m like trying to convince him to come over and saying he owes me because the last time I didn’t get off, but he’s saying that he doesn’t want to be an asshole and he’d basically come over then put his pants back on and go and that’s what an asshole would do and he doesn’t want to be an asshole to me. I told him it’s just sex but he disagreed. He said he would call me back in 2 minutes. So I went upstairs and was waiting for the official call telling me he wasn’t interested, so then I’m like, “What am I doing?! Trying to talk a guy into coming over to sleep with me? This is stupid. It shouldn’t be a battle” so I call him back and he’s like, “I’m at a friend’s house I have to call you right back” and I tell him never mind, don’t worry about it. He’s like “Ok” then I said, But I do have a request, I have some stuff I need to give you so I can move on so I need 10 minutes of your time in the next couple days. He’s all “Don’t be like that” I told him No, I’m not trying to be a bitch I just need to get over you and need to do this, and he’s like “Fine, I have Wed and Thur off, you can reach me on my cell” I said thank you and we hung up. Then I called Kay-See and she’s like “You shouldn’t be calling me right now” and I filled her in on the conversations. Ugh. It was rather comical. She knew Kyle would be disappointed so I went online and left him a comment then started getting ready for bed. Right in the middle of my pre-bed ritual my phone rings and I knew it was him and half expected him to call when he was alone because I knew he wouldn’t want to leave things like that. Because he’s not an asshole. We talked for quite a while and I said a lot of what I was feeling but not in an accusatory way or whiny or anything but just that I needed to not really see him because I like him, and I never expected to like him this much and the only way I can kind of get over it is to not be talking to him and give him the stuff. He was laughing at me saying that in the earlier phone call I was all “I need to get rid of this stuff!” all mean like, and he was like “What is that? Don’t be all mad” I told him not to go on the defensive, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just something I need to do. We did do a lot of talking and joking and we're planning on meeting up on Thursday and he's all "There isn’t any reason we can’t have one last kiss because I know that will be good" and I was all "You're damn straight it would be good, but I don't know if you can handle it". Then he says how hot my text was and was all "I'll probably jack off to it later and will be kicking myself tonight for not coming over, but I know in the morning that I'll be glad and know I made the right decision" which I couldn't really argue with. He doesn't want to get into a "routine" which means that if we keep seeing each other that it's going to turn into us being bf and gf or something, which I don’t think he’s entirely opposed to but I don’t think he wants the obligation. I see his point of view and I'm pretty sure he sees mine so I told him that he can call me in a month or three months (hopefully I’ll be over it by then) and he’s like, well I’ll talk to you Thursday, or before, so let’s not say that yet. It ended on a positive note and at least I know where he stands and he knows where I stand so we’ll go from there and see where this nutty thing ends up.

Monday 11/11, I went to Costco for some provisions then dropped some stuff off at the dry cleaners on the way home. Susan came over after work and finished getting her stuff then we watched the Wheel and talked. After she left I cleaned up and washed Kassie’s big blanket and took some stuff down to the garage to declutter. I talked to Chrystol for a long time on the phone and her and Schuyler might come over Wednesday to hang out so that’s fun. I filled her in on all the Eric drama and she said she hopes I get to a point where I end it because I’ll feel better about it, which I agreed with. I showered and cleaned my room a little before going to bed.