Friday 4/27, Dad called me at work and told me that if I wanted to come down and say goodbye to Grandpa that sooner was better than later. So I ended up leaving work around 1:30 and heading down to Madigan Hospital at Fort Lewis. It took me about an hour and a half and when I got to the visitor center I didn’t have my updated insurance card so I couldn’t get my car in and my insurance company couldn’t email it so I started freaking out and crying because I’d just come all this way for nothing and that I won’t even get to see Grandpa. I called Dad and he told me to calm down and that Kima would come pick me up since she had a pass. I regained my composure and waited for Kima to get there, got me a visitor pass and headed back to the hospital. Grandpa is not doing well and it was so hard seeing him hooked up to the machines and his chest convulsing as air is being forced into his lungs. I didn’t know what to do so I just sat and looked at him for a long time, studying his face, arms, half-open eyes and heaving chest. Two neurologists came in to do tests so I took that opportunity to go get some water since I had started to feel lightheaded. Dad went with me and asked if I was ok, I wasn’t, but I didn’t want to start bawling there so I kept my shit together. How did this happen? No one expected this…and now he’s almost dead? It’s awful and everyone is scrambling and searching for answers. We came back in as the tests were still being performed and I kept having to sit down on the floor because I was about to keel over. It’s like when I get anxiety attacks at concerts and my vision starts to go and all this pressure builds in my head. Their assessment wasn’t all bad, but it wasn’t jam-packed full of hope either. We decided to say goodbye and go home so I told him to get better and hoped he could hear me. Kima took Dad and me back to my car and we drove home without too much traffic. After dropping Dad off I cried a little in my car on the way home. It was after 6 by the time I got back and I was exhausted so I fed the cat and went up to my room to watch James Bond and organize all my bills and shit from the last two months. Dad called for an update and reminded me that every day is a gift and that no one gets out alive, so appreciate it now while you’ve got it. Then Mom called and I haven’t talked to her at all since this all happened and I know she’s having a hard time with it and has apparently been crying consistently since the news hit. She sounded ok and we joked about Grandpa’s stuff in his office and how she told him that unless he woke up that she was going to keep going through his all of it and cleaning things out. After the movie I cleaned up a little downstairs in preparation for Dad to come back on Saturday and for Kassie to arrive as well. Auntie Lauryn is also coming as everyone is preparing for Grandpa to die. I cried for a long time in the shower before climbing into bed.

Thursday 4/26, I got up early to see Dad off and we had some muffins for breakfast so I decided to just go into work early. At 4:30 as I was preparing to leave Dad (Alan) called and told me there was an emergency and Grandpa had just had a major heart attack and “it doesn’t look good” so he asked me to go over to the house to be with Jake and they were heading down to the hospital. I stopped at the jewelers on the way and picked up my ring then went over. Both Jake and I were confused as to why Dad wanted me over there but I hung out until it was time to take him to soccer practice at BCC. I went home after that and talked to both Dads multiple times for updates had some dinner and talked to Susan. I watched some tv, showered and updated.

Wednesday 4/25, I went down to U-Village straight from work and ended up randomly meeting Kay-See at Anthro then we headed over to our baking class together. We were early and got good seats and looked at all of the wonderful kitchen things to buy. We perused the list of goodies we’d be making and they included: strawberry muffins, cornbread muffins with scallions, bacon and parmesan, an apple and cinnamon coffeecake, popovers and lastly a ginger and lime pound cake, which was surprisingly good considering I don’t really like ginger or lime. It was a lot of fun even though I was terrified to get up in front of the class to help, but luckily it was just girls and one old guy, so the most intimidating person was the teacher who we all thought initially was gay, but isn’t. And when he started talking food and flavor combinations we were all fanning ourselves because it was totally hot. The class ran long, 10:00, so I decided to blow off the Kaiser Chiefs show entirely and head home to where Dad was waiting up for me. I was really disappointed to miss the show because I’ve wanted to see them FOREVER and I paid for the f-ing ticket so I was bummed, but also totally drained. At home I fed Dad some of the coffeecake and he approved and we sat chatting and looking at all of the pictures I have up. Around 11:00 we both hit the hay and I stayed up for a while reading.

Tuesday 4/24, I stayed late after work for some overtime then headed home where I did some cleaning in preparation for Dad coming the next day, which included vacuuming the stairs, sweeping the other stairs, cleaning that fucking litter box and other minor little things. The place looked great! I ate some dinner, showered and got ready to go to bowling. I had quite a late start and didn’t leave the house until 7:45. When I got there it was cosmic bowling which was kind of fun and I totally glowed because I was wearing a white shirt. It was a fun night but somewhat uneventful, save for the karaoke as people bowled. Brandon and I discussed his brilliant plan of having strip club / bowling alley…I’m totally in. I started joking with Nikki about punching people in their necks, and I’d be like “You know what that girl’s got coming!” and he’s like “Neck punch!” oh yeah. Glorious. Kay-See won the award for Best Improved Average and got a little trophy, complete with skirt. Kay-See and I were looking at pictures and this weird guy kept coming over to look and was making odd conversation and Kay-See was like “Get this guy away from me!” though I initially thought she knew him. The boys were trying to get us to go to karaoke but Kay-See wasn’t interested and I would have gone if she were but I was also glad to be leaving early to rest up for the next day’s events. So we’re all congregated outside talking about vomit stories and mother in law stories when the weird guy comes over again and is like, “My mom married the town priest then she starts cheating on him with another priest who’s now my stepdad” and Jesse’s like “I think I saw a porn that started out like this” and we all started laughing so hard because this story was so weird and he just cut in, so we were all sketched out and looking at each other nervously so the joke totally cracked us up. He kept going but it’s not important, just know he was really fucking bizarre. I drove home and went to bed.

Monday 4/23, I noticed my tire was flat again at the post office but remembered that Jim probably needed a ride to his car later, and that’s where my tire place is, so I strategized to kill two birds with one stone. When I took it in it didn’t take too long and the cute guy said, while holding the door open for me, that there'd been a nail in it so they patched and filled it. Seriously, a nail. Whoops. As a result of taking care of this during work I had to stay a half hour extra at work, but called Susan as soon as I was done and made plans to meet at my house. I did a little picking up and when she got there I put a pizza in the oven while we chatted. We both cleaned our plates then set off for Costco where I kind of behaved myself and made it out of there spending less than $40. When we got back I made myself a little dessert and we settled into the living room to watch an episode of OC and laughed about how many times it looked like someone was jizzing in their pants. About 2/3 of the way through I looked at my phone and noticed I had a text and when I hit the read button it didn’t tell me who it was from it just opened it, so I was momentarily confused, then suddenly figured it out and shrieked in Susan’s direction. She commanded me to pause OC and read it aloud:

Sorry, I have a girl friend. You were cute though!

Gasp! I couldn’t believe it and am totally flattered that he even responded. Now I am crafting a simple response and am glad he has my number in case him and his gf ever break up. Mwahahaha! I'm reading way too into it, but he didn't have to do anything in response and even said I'm cute so I'm totally pleased. Susan and I finished our episode of OC then she took off because she was so tired. I called Kay-See to give her the hilarious news but she didn’t answer so I vacuumed, cleaned J’s litter box, folded some towels and tidied up the kitchen. Wandered upstairs where I read magazines, filled Kay-See in on the story (she loved it and has even said she’s inspired to try something similar), showered and went to bed.

Sunday 4/22, I got up at 8 and actually got out of bed a little after 9 and ready for the day. I threw all the sheets in the wash and set out for the grocery store. I took a detour to Home Depot to grab a bunch of paint samples for Mom to look at then hit the store. At home I cleaned and picked up then made lunch and talked to Susan. Mom came over and we hung a mirror in the living room along with the bird paintings. Then we tried to hang another mirror in the dining room and the wire busted clean in half. So back to the drawing board. Mom left, then I called Chrystol and they were busy for the day so I decided to watch OC and alternate watching episodes and cleaning my and Kassie’s rooms. I called Mom and she said we weren’t doing dinner since Dad is in San Fran, Jake was at the mall and Grandma wasn’t feeling well. This kind of relieved me, but then I wondered what I was going to do with myself for the rest of the day. I ended up doing more cleaning and organizing! Imagine that! I made two more collages with some oddly sized frames Kassie gave me a while ago, so that was fun and totally random and gave me a momentary feeling of having an artistic outlet and talent. I watched tv while I did them and went through lots of small clippings. I showered, climbed in bed to watch the news then went through some more magazines.

Saturday 4/21, I woke up at 6:45 and couldn’t go back to sleep so I just laid there willing myself and finally got up at 8:00. I went down to Rainier to get my oil changed and there was one cute boy working there and I kind of flirted with him, especially when he came in and handed me my keys, then when I was leaving he opened my car door for me and I gave him a very coy “Thank you” and he smiled and I took off. I went into Factoria to run some errands but the stores weren’t open yet so I hit this little frame and décor shop that is so totally cute and I got some more frames and little lemon / orange / lime topiary kind of thing for my kitchen. Then to the TMobile store where I finally got a new phone, but it was really hard giving mine up and the girl was like “Give it here honey, it’ll be ok” and told me to keep it around for backup, which eased my pain a little. Maybe I’ll change it up every once in a while. Then I hit the jewelry store to have the diamond earring Mom gave me for my 21st turned into a ring, then home. I put pictures in the new frames then ate some lunch and started to crash out because I was so tired, even though it was only 12:30, so I was trying to take a little nap before having to call Kay-See but she beat me to it and teased me with tales of delicious cookies. I laid for a little while longer then took off around 1:45. I parked near her place at a meter and made note of the time to be back to renew my fare, then set off for downtown. I called her but she didn’t answer so I figured she didn’t hear her phone and kept walking. I hit Barnes and Noble for that British GQ but they didn’t have the new one in and right as I was leaving she called and told me to go down to Sephora. I met up with her and some friends, she gave me a delicious chocolate chip cookie and a peanut butter one and I began to devour. They were so good, and the thickest cookies I’ve ever seen. The friends wanted to go to Nordstrom Rack so we headed to the market then turned around to go back to Macy’s to use the bathroom. We then went to Fancy where I got Kassie a necklace that I actually wanted for myself but I think she’ll love it. I also asked how much the necklace I’m in love with is and it’s $192, yeah, not so much. I don't care if it's gold plated or not. We made our way down to the market again and stopped in Sur La Table where Kay-See got a new grater and we ogled kitchen supplies for a good 20 minutes. Foodie porn. When we got down there we started hitting the shops and picking up supplies for the dinner like cheese, bread and strawberries. I also bought a 1/2 dozen of those yummy donuts and we ate them all. I also got some apples and we tested balsamic and olive oils. Yum! We spotted two cute guys working the fish stand (one for each of us, mine had tattoos and Kay-See’s looked like the quarter back for a hot football team) then went to another fish stand where we spotted more cute guys. They were everywhere! We passed some other cute boys while walking through the market and shops and I was like “Mmmm, hello” because I was feeling sassy. We decided to head back to Kay-See’s and as we were walking back up I saw Jason and we chatted for a second then continued on our way. As we were walking back to her place there was a group of protesters and this one cute guy was holding this huge banner that said “Global warming is a bigger sham than your girlfriend’s orgasm” and I looked at him, raised my eyebrows and nodded in agreement then kept walking. I hear all this laughing and turn around and he’s looking at me cracking up, so I guess he thought my assessment was pretty funny. I remembered my parking meter and at that point it was 4:25 and my thing expired at 4:11 so we went straight to the car and just as we were walking up this tall cute redhead pulled up and was getting his parking squared away as I was. We kind of made eye contact a few times and I was totally interested because he was really cute, then he was off and we were off…talking about leaving a note on his windshield…so we started plotting. We went up to her place and started prepping the lemon pound cake and came up with this note:

Hi! You’re cute. If you thought I was cute too and you don’t have a girlfriend you should call me. Karrah (white car)

We walked down and put it under his windshield wiper then scampered back up and continued gabbing and zesting! Kay-See didn’t have any whipping cream so we ran to the store quickly, saw a cute Matt (story of my life) and went back to find Heidi and John in the lobby waiting for us. We talked and ate while waiting for Tim and Susan to show up. We had a ton of fun eating dinner, talking and playing Apples to Apples. I was, of course, the most offensive player with hilarious answers including Cesar Chavez, Atomic Bomb, Bombing of Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima. The pound cake didn’t really turn out as planned so Kay-See ended up constructing a trifle with whipped cream, strawberries and the discolored cake. It was delicious and most of us had seconds. Yum! We all rolled out of there a little after 10 and when I got to my car the cute guy's car was gone but it had rained so I hoped that my note hadn’t been blurred by the moisture. Oh well if it was. He probably won’t call even if it wasn’t. I mean, seriously, what would he say? It would make a hilarious story if it did though…When I got home I fed J and climbed into bed and watched SNL.

Friday 4/20, Peggy let me leave work at 1:00 so I went to Walgreen’s to get some pictures developed then over to BB&B for some picture frames then home where I put my walking clothes on and set off for my short one. I was really tired but knew I needed to do it and rewarded myself when I got home by taking a nap as I watched Love Actually. When I woke up I had some dinner then set back out to run errands because it was Friday night and I had nothing better to do. I hit Office Depot first to try and find my bulletin board but they don’t appear to carry it anymore because this guy gave me the catalog to look through and it wasn’t in there. Damn! So I got some other shit instead. Then I went to BB&B again for tea lights and holders then back to Walgreens to pick up my pictures. When I got home I sat on the floor of the living room and replaced old pictures in frames and put pictures in the new frames and hung some and rearranged the fireplace area so now it looks cute. I got quite a bit done and felt very accomplished with my day.

Thursday 4/19, I did more cleaning and organizing after work to get rid of some of the shit I have lying around. This is great! Watched tv and listened to music while getting ready and eating dinner. I got ready and did some interesting makeup then took pictures in the mirror and of J and got one that’s hilarious when he was yawning but it looks like he’s really ferocious. I hit the road and met Susan at our usual spot where I filled her in on the texting that Jake and I had done up to this point. It went a little something like this:

Him (10:54pm): Hi! Hey. Youre not in whistler by chance are you? Jacob B******
Me (10:55pm): Nope
Him (10:58pm): Well you should be ...... Its amazing ...
Me (11:00pm): Going to Neighbours, now that's amazing! Have fun!
Him (11:04pm): You too. I will talk to you soon. Have a great wknd.

Hm, why the hell 1) would I be in Whistler and 2) is he texting me when it's so amazing and probably with a bunch of friends? Whatever, anyway we walked over and some guy in the back of an SUV gave signaled a heart with his hands so I did it back to him and he was like "She did it back!" so I'm pretty sure I made his night. Travers was working the door and I was like "Frisk me!" so he started patting me down everywhere and even found the camera in my back pocket. I was like "That's the most action I've seen in a long time!" we paid and went in. We went upstairs first to watch the crowd and noticed how many non-regulars there were, though we did spot Tye. We went down to check our coats and ran into Teal and got a kiss on my cheek. We soon made our way out to the dance floor where we noticed a rowdy group of men, who we're guessing were out for a bachelor party - gay style. We moved around quite a bit and were very happy when Ryan, Vicki and Willy showed up and made things about twice as interesting than they had been up to that point. Teal was dancing with some girl that Susan started calling her gf, and she was all over everyone. Later in the night she even grabbed me by the hair for a few seconds...v. odd. So we’re dancing, dancing, dancing and I see Max and am trying to avoid him, then we notice Studded Belt is right next to us so then I drool for the rest of the night. He, meanwhile, wasn’t drooling and wasn’t looking in my direction. Damn! It still isn’t immediately clear whether he’s gay or not since he dances with both boys and girls. I asked Teal if he thought he was gay or straight and after studying him intensely for a few seconds, shakes his head and says "Straight. But I bet he's a boring lay" ouch. I can't do much except defer to Teal's expert opinion on this one. Max was on the move so I took off for upstairs and hid up there for a while to avoid and keep an eye on him. He was wearing shiny leather pants which totally cracked me up. I made my way back down to all the kids dancing and Max managed to kind of sneak up undetected by Susan’s eagle eye so I smiled and waved and he stayed in his spot and didn’t rush over. I spotted Jeff with Teal and Darren and waved to him then danced suggestively in his direction and he did the same back, it was kind of funny. We spotted Craig and he waved from across the floor then made his way over and said hi, danced by us for a little bit then disappeared after he kept getting nudged out by Willy. We went back over toward our usual dancing area and found Teal then Darren came over and we danced on the insanely sticky floor, but it was by the fan so that felt totally good. We decided to take off and were saying bye to Teal and when it was my turn I leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek and at the last moment he slowly turned his cheek and kissed me on the lips, and I'm sure my eyes got all big from shock. I said "You're sassy!" and he looked all sheepish. I have no problem with Teal wanting to kiss me on the lips. At all. Ever. Susan was saying something else to him so I moved on because I saw Craig standing alone with his phone over by the stair railing. I told him I was leaving so we hugged then he went back to something on his phone and expressed some frustration with a girl and I shrugged and said, "Well, I used to be totally in love with you, so there you have it" and he kind of smiled and looked flattered then stepped forward to give me another hug. I hope it improved his night even just a tiny bit. As we were walking out Travers was saying something hilarious to us and we headed to the cars.

Wednesday 4/18, I did some jumping jacks, jump roping and running in place for about 20 on my patio then did lunges and pushups for some muscle building. Wasn’t my greatest workout but I didn’t feel like going on a walk so, you know, do what you can. I hung some pictures and tried to do a few chores, it’s my new thing, do at least one productive thing after work per day. We’ll see how long it lasts, but right now it’s kind of cool to get shit done instead of sitting on my ass all night like usual. Plus I think when I get rid of my cable that will help to keep me busy. I talked to Susan for a long time then watched ANTM and was glad that Jael went home because I can’t stand how she speaks. I did some magazine reading until I went to bed.

Tuesday 4/17, We closed up the office early since David and Carrie were here with the kids so we all sat outside watching Adrien play in the sand with his bulldozer and cement mixer (he's talking so much it's crazy!) while Maddie-o laid on a blanket in the sun. Mom and Dad showed up and eventually most of us ended up inside snacking on all the food Peggy had bought for the event. My fav was the tomato with fresh mozzarella, basil, olive oil, balsamic and salt. Yum! I ate like 4 pieces with various bread / cracker variations. I left around 6:00 and did some cleaning at home then hopped in the shower and got ready to attend what I thought would be the last of Kay-See's bowling events. I arrived and tracked them down in the back corner and the fun began. There were pictures taken, bumping and grinding captured on video, humping of Kay-See against the wall by multiple individuals, Nite Crawlers defended and consumed, lots of beer and whiskey downed and interesting conversations held. The most interesting was with Nikki, where we discussed artists and chapstick again along with the pros and cons of various gummy treats and lastly my job. I feel like we had a moment at one point where we were both just looking at each other intently, not saying anything, just looking then I broke the gaze because I was getting all hot and bothered. He's got a gf Karrah, keep it in your pants! Anyway, it was really fun and I got a chance to talk to Jesse quite a bit about home ownership and working then he came back over with Matt and Jake. We all talked and took pictures on camera phones and such and it was a ton of fun. The testosterone in that place is overwhelming (even when Nikki and Bill are humping each other and mock performing fellatio) and fantastic. Toward the end when Kay-See and I had made it clear that we would not be attending karaoke the boys all started talking about Raj and when I relayed my story from the last time they all rolled their eyes, groaned and apologized for him making me uncomfortable. I assured them that I wasn't and thought it was more amusing than anything, and Kay-See backed me up that it was really fun and that if I had been offended I would have said something or moved. I have a severe lack of attention from those of the opposite sex so I take what I can get. Then Matt said he likes Raj better with the beard because he looked more homeless...hmm, maybe that's why I like him. Regardless, the boys all thought I was nuts, but what can I say? I need validation and for some reason I feel it comes with the acceptance of guys. I know this shouldn't be the case and probably really doesn't even make me feel better, but for some reason I'm telling myself that it does right now. I'm Karrah, I'm delusional! Anyway, so they all took off for karaoke and K, N and B finished up their last game and we all started heading out. K and I were talking about something really funny and I said "I can't tell" and she goes "Look again". We were giggling like 12 year olds. When N was out of earshot I said I'd make out with him over Raj or Matt and she asked if it was because of the conversation and I was like "Oh yeah!" and she nodded knowingly. We all said bye and headed to our respective cars and I drove home and was glad to not be out until 12:30.

Monday 4/16, I went to WAMu to close and cash out my account then over to BB&B where I got some picture frames then home. I fed J and put new pictures into the frames and talked to Susan about no traffic and said I would head in soon. I changed clothes and was off. We hung at her place for a few minutes trying to decide on dinner, and I convinced her to take a drive with me down Madison to check out the restaurants along the way. We parked and looked at menus but nothing was jumping out so we drove back toward Broadway, parked and walked to Broadway Grill. We had a really fun and hilarious dinner and I got a salad because I knew I wanted dessert and I had eaten so much the day before I couldn’t justify getting a real dinner and dessert. Anyway, then at one point I was encouraging Susan to chug her wine, so I was mock banging my fists on the table and chanting “Susan, Susan!” and this waiter walked by above and started laughing so hard so that was a little embarrassing, but also pretty funny. What the hell did we talk about? I don’t even remember but at one point we were both laughing so hard…dammit, Susan what was it? Susan has refreshed my memory. We started talking about how drunk she would be and I'd have to take her home but she'd be all obnoxious when I'd ask where her keys were and be like "I don't knoooooow" so then I'd have to leave her at the bus stop with that homeless guy. Then he would make her give him an hj while she was passed out. It was HILARIOUS. For dessert I got the peach cobbler, and though I wasn't in love with it, I totally inhaled it. I know, classy! We walked back toward the car, stopping at Vivace to see if any of the boys were working, but they weren’t so we kept walking. Driving back to Susan’s we saw some sketchy scene with a girl who had no pants on sitting in a car with her legs out the door and she looked totally out of it and these two black guys in the front seat just sitting there. Weeeeeird. I dropped Susan off then drove home and watched some of the depressing news and went to bed.

Sunday 4/15, I woke up and fed J then crawled back into bed and fell asleep and eventually got out of bed for good around 9:30 and got ready for my hike with Kay-See. She was right on time and we set off for Little Si. It was beautiful in Issaquah so we were really excited, but as we got closer to the mountain it started raining which bummed us out but we were still determined to do it. I saw the FedEx girl running up the mountain as we started. We talked and talked and talked some more on our way up. We saw some cute guys mountain climbing and turned back a little over halfway because the rain was getting heavier by the minute. By the time we got back down we were both pretty soaked and pretty chilly. We decided to drive into North Bend and get breakfast / lunch at a little café which was so good. We totally gorged ourselves then went to the little bakery a few doors down where I bought an apple loaf and refrained from purchasing everything in the place. We next ventured to the health food store where I bought a Hawaii scented candle, some tea tree blemish oil and some delicious arty chocolate bars. Kay-See dropped me off at my house where I started an entire afternoon of marathon cleaning. From about 1:00 to 5:00 I cleaned and hung new pictures and watched J play outside in the back. I did like 5 loads of laundry and talked to Susan about her prior evening’s events. I headed over to Mom’s early where we talked about the restaurant guy and Dad couldn’t believe he never called me, though Mom and I weren’t surprised at all and Dad was like "Well then, why would he ask for your number?!" and I said, I don't know, to be nice? Who the hell knows, but I had no expectation that he would actually call. I was, however, flattered at least. It was really funny. I ate way too much food, mostly because Mom always dishes up WAY TOO MUCH. I ate a little of the apple load, a few chocolate chip cookies then we watched some Harry Potter. I went home after grabbing Kassie’s old tennis racquet and talked to Kay-See then watched some tv, uploaded pictures onto flickr then updated this thing FOREVER! Read some hand me down magazines from Susan and went to bed.

Saturday 4/14, I woke up to a phone call way too early (8:30) in the morning then noticed I had a text message that I must have received in the middle of the night. I hit the “Read” button and see “Eric Cell” and just stared at it for a few seconds. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and couldn’t even imagine what it could possibly say. I opened it and all it said was “Up” no question mark, nothing else. Up. That’s it. How the fuck am I supposed to interpret that? Like, What’s Up? or Are you Up? No clue. Like did he want to talk, plus the other thing was that it was sent at 3:44am, which wasn’t that much after I went to bed…so I must’ve been really out to not have heard my phone beep. I wish I would have though because I would have called him and hopefully gotten some answers. The curiosity is going to kill me. It’s not like you can accidentally send someone a text. Anyway, I sent him back a text with an equally simple “?” but, of course, never heard back. No shock there. I fed J then crawled back into bed to try and get some more sleep because I knew it was going to be an action packed day and I think I got a little, but ended up getting up, eating breakfast, showering and heading out to PCC and Big 5 for supplies. Jason and I had made plans for me to meet at their place at noon so I had a little while before I needed to leave so I updated this thing a little bit then took off. Found parking fairly easily and made my way up to their apartment where we talked and hung out and I held baby Harper forever. I actually loved it, and will really enjoy being Auntie Karrah when my siblings and other friends start popping kids out. He smelled wonderful and Jason took a picture of me sniffing him. We set out and I got to ride in their brand new car with Harper in the back and watched him fall asleep and shielded his eyes from the sun. He’s so f-ing cute. We parked down near the market and went to this wonderful crepe place for lunch, and of course they treated, which always makes me feel bad. I try to reciprocate when they let me. Jason showed me pictures of one of his friends that he wants to fix me up with. Sign me up! Beth started to say he'd be the kind of boyfriend that would want to stay at home and play video games all the time but Jason quickly jumped in to say, no, he would be the kind of boyfriend that would want to stay home and have sex all the time. Hmm. I guess that's not all bad. We walked up to this toy store where they got some new toys for Harper and I got some pirate and dragon tattoos. We walked back to the car because it started raining so Beth fed Harper in the car while Jason took me down to Fancy, Schmancy and something else, and I wanted to buy like 8 thousand things in the second one. Like a necklace that said “Don’t Forget About Me” that I may go back and buy. We ended up going through Nordstrom to Barnes and Noble where I saw B’s gf as Jason and I were waiting for Beth and I kind of waved at her then told Jason and he said it looks like she’s trying too hard to be hip and that I’m cuter. I know it shouldn’t matter and that it only does because I’m insecure about it, but whatever. Anyway, at B&N I picked up Details with JT on the cover and an Islands magazine with a huge article about St. Martin and had a huge picture of Kali’s. I also picked up a triple chocolate chip cookie at Starbucks and treated Beth to coffee. We walked back to the car and decided to do the Sculpture Park another day when it was a consistently sunny day, so we drove home and I gently ran my finger over Harper’s cheek all the way back because it’s so soft. They dropped me off and I called Susan to hang out, so we chatted about Eric’s text then set off to 15th where we hit Victrola then the bookstore then Sonic Boom where I behaved myself. As we walked back I showed Susan the condos that Kay-See and I had drooled over a few weeks back. We went back to Susan’s and I took off to Kay-See’s because I was running late. When I got up to her place we had a whole list of things to cover, mostly revolving around Eric’s text, Trevor’s lack of returning my phone call and trading Zeph for Curtis Stone. We laid on the floor and talked forever and both almost fell asleep because we were so tired. A little before 8 we got off the floor and started dinner and snacked on cheese, crackers and pico de gallo. Kay-See whipped up a salad to eat with our tomato and zucchini frittata / quiche and for dessert we each had a cookie accompanied generously with Cool Whip. Yum! We got online for recipes and answers to the Details “Evangelist or O Face” quiz then I packed my stuff up and set out. When I got home I watched a little SNL and responded to a message from the long neglectful Jake. I sent a message back and went to bed.

Friday 4/13, Peggy let me leave early after Jim told her I had a “hot date” later that night ie dinner plans with JP. So I got home and went to bed because I was exhausted and tried not to think about how I was going to make it through the night. I slept a little, then fed J, showered and left Josh a message, which he returned and we firmed up our plans for the evening. I got ready and set out, calling him when I arrived, picked him up then we set off to Ballard to go to Hi-Life. There was no wait and we got an appetizer and Laura, one of Eric’s friends, was our server, but I don’t think she recognized me. We joked that she was like “Slut!” because I was there with some guy. We had a really fun dinner and talked the whole time, which was made even better because it didn’t get awkward at all. We decided to head over to the Baking Dog because Zeph works there and they supposedly have a great selection of beer, draft and imported. We found it very easily despite no one at Hi-Life knowing how to get there, and thought it felt like we were back in college walking up to the bar. We each got a drink and had the fastest service ever. Zeph wasn’t working that night but the guy (surprisingly his roommate) told us he was working some wine bar back on Ballard Ave. So Kay-See called and wanted to take me up on my offer to meet up and hang with JP. So we headed back over toward Ballard Ave and saw Kay-See just as we were parking so the three of us all walked over to the bar and saw Zeph as soon as we walked in. He came out from behind the bar and gave me a nice big hug that made Kay-See jealous. Heh. We initially sat down at a table but when some seats at the bar opened up we snagged those and ordered some drinks. We had so much fun, I can’t even put into words all of the hilarious things that happened but one of the funniest was that Josh kept saying “Hey Asshole!" then "I’m going to fucking punch him in the face” especially after Kay-See and I told him an interesting tidbit of information. Kay-See was trying to get me to give up my dibs on Curtis Stone for Z, but I wasn’t biting and said I wouldn’t even know what to do with him. Kay-See and I discussed plans to take a trip to San Fran to do some shopping and JP said we could stay with him and was giving us suggestions for things to do and places to eat / drink. Zeph let JP and Kay-See sample a few different wines and some Grappa and some other alcohol that Zeph described as tasting like “ when you throw up in your mouth” mmm, tasty. Zeph had his ipod going and was playing all these Atmosphere songs Josh loves then was playing Arrested Development so we were like “Play Mr. Wendal!” and all sang along to it. I met Zeph’s gf, Katie, and she was very nice. We talked for about 20 minutes then I went back to JP and K. We closed the place down and walked back to the cars after 2:00. Kay-See said she would take JP home since his hotel was just down the street from her place so I got to drive straight home and got to bed around 3:00. Yawn!

Thursday 4/12, I dreamed I told Warren to shut his mouth because he wouldn’t stop talking about seeing Grant E.’s Mom in Penthouse. Weird. Went on my short walk then did jumping jacks and pushups in the back while J explored then ate some dinner. I ended up leaving around 10 for Susan’s with cookies in tow and we sat on her bed looking at profiles and chatting and consuming delicious cookies. We left around 11, parked and went in where I tried to ask Travers about Eric the cute bouncer that used to work there but he gave me a very dismissive “I don’t know” oh, well, um, ok. There was a good song playing so we hit the floor immediately after checking our coats and we both commented how it felt weird to not do a lap first or go upstairs to see who was there. A Cure song or something came on so we went upstairs where I said hi to my cute gay bartender and he ended up coming over and flirting and dancing with me for a second and Susan pointed out that he’s clearly gay but also likes me. I’ll take it! After hitting the floor again Susan noticed this hot guy upstairs with a studded belt and I agreed that he was very hot so we ended up going up there to get a better look while he played pool, and whew, he was really hot. Tall, dark hair, skinny…you know the drill. He seemed disinterested so we went back downstairs but had spotted Max and Susan told me NOT TO WAVE, just smile if you have to. Ok, good advice, and in the meantime we were going to avoid him and have Susan dance facing him so he can’t make eye contact with me and misinterpret it as flirting. We’re dancing and I spot Richie come in and he appeared to be alone and came over not too much after getting a drink and told me about some drama he had experienced earlier in the day. The three of us talked, took pictures, laughed and admired his “Ankle Biters” before watching a hilarious, albeit short, drag show. So Richie and I are dancing when all of a sudden this girl came flying at me and knocked her head into mine and her whole body against mine in addition to stomping on my foot. I blinked a few times as I regained my balance, looked at Richie and asked "What the fuck was that?" These people were totally oblivious and falling into us over and over and over again, so we decided to resurrect our fun little ass pinching game. Richie and I switched spots, I leaned in and gave this dorky guy a hearty pinch on the ass and when he turned around and saw Richie it was glorious. They kept doing it so I kept pinching him, the last time being the funniest because he became so accustomed to it that he didn't even turn around, it startled him, he jumped and moved over. That's right, keep it on your side of the floor. We saw Teal and Darren and alternated singing to and dancing near them and when Richie had gone out to have a smoke Max made his way over. I think he said to me “We are party people” and even after asking him to repeat, was convinced that's what he said. What a weird thing to say. Party people? He seriously must be German. I was bummed because we were dancing RIGHT BY Studded Belt and I was attempting to get his attention, then in barges Max with his skirt and corset, and Susan’s like “Your boyfriend just cock blocked you” and I replied “I know!” So we’re dancing and I’m trying to avoid looking at Max too much but felt bad because I didn’t want to blow him off or ignore him, but I’m not trying to lead him on, you know? So Susan spots Richie come back on the floor (I had told Richie about Max earlier and he told me he would save me if I gave him a sign) so she runs over to get him and in that 15 seconds Max gets right in front of me and takes my hands and is like, trying to dance with me that way, until Susan and Richie rush back over and join the circle and Richie whispers “He’s so gay” and I was like, hmm, I don’t know about that Richie. I asked Richie what he thought about Studded Belt so he walked over right in front of him to get a good look and said he wasn’t really his type. Plus he thought he was gay. Oh well. Then Susan tapped me and pointed over toward Michael, so I squeal and make a mad dash (much as Max usually does when he sees me) for him. He gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and we talked and danced and I asked him about Eric and he said he doesn’t really talk to him anymore and I told him I still think of him every day and hope he’s ok. I kept telling Michael how glad I was to see him, like over and over. He left the dance floor and Richie was talking to a friend so Susan and I had a chance to commiserate and discuss Jeff then I spotted Craig and he came over and I got a hug and talked with him for a minute then the song that reminds me of Eric came on so I started singing to it with my hands over my heart and did the shimmy for Susan then Michael came back and we danced with him some more which resulted in kind of pushing Craig out of our dancing circle. The songs were so good, like one after another, it was amazing, especially Mony Mony and Do You Wanna Touch Me (“Velvet Goldmine bitch!”) which made it the best night for a long time. We decided to take off a few minutes after Richie did so we tracked down Michael and he gave me a kiss on the lips then we busted ass back to our cars. It was so fun that I didn’t even have a chance to say hi to Thomas or track down Studded Belt again. Michael and Richie, I’m in love with both of them…and have some sassy new pictures with both of them too.

Wednesday 4/11, I had a make out dream about Trevor that was hot and made me want to real life make out with him. After work I talked to Eliso about living locations and set out on my short walk then did some lunges, pushups and jumping jacks. I had a big salad for dinner and some strawberries and yogurt…then like 5 cookies. I’ve got a whole plate of them, what am I supposed to do?! They look at me every time I go in the kitchen! Hmm, maybe I’ll go get one right now. I called Trevor and left a message that I’d had a dream about him and that I thought it was a sign that I should call and say hi. Then he never called me back. Was I surprised? No. I think I need to be done with guys again. Why do I get so fixated? Even when they’re not that great…not that Trevor isn’t a cool guy, I just don’t think it got to the stage where I should be day dreaming about him for half the day. God, what’s my problem? Snap out of it Karrah! I know having his cd doesn’t help, all I want to do is make out with him when I listen to it. Anyway, I watched ANTM then talked to Susan and went to bed.

Tuesday 4/10, I dreamt Mike Watt came to my house and demo-d my main floor bathroom. It was very bizarre. Anyway, didn’t do much after work…ate dinner, watched tv, fed J…talked to Susan…watched about 4 episodes of Miami Ink and decided I have a huge crush on Ami and Garver. HOT. I looked through some old magazines to start a gradual process of throwing shit out I don’t need / use / look at. Went to bed around midnight.

Monday 4/9, I started making cookies as soon as I got home because the other ones were so good and that took me quite a while. I did a little cleaning around the house and let J in and out as he pleased and eventually ended up in my room reading magazines, watching a Hugh Hefner E True Hollywood Story and playing on the net.

Sunday 4/8, Jess and Co got up at 7:00 to go to church and I was going to get up and go too but thought that Jess’ Mom might not be up yet because I had to pick up my stuff, so Jess told me to keep sleeping. I got up around 8:30, dressed and headed back to Stanwood. I totally woke Day up, but Jess said it was ok anyway because she needed to get up. Got my stuff then talked with Jess as I was on my way back to the freeway listening to this one amazing song of Trevor’s all the way home. I got home and Mom called right as I arrived to say she was on her way over to feed the cat even though I was already home, but she came over anyway to chat. We sat and talked while I ate breakfast, cleaned and played her Trevor’s cd. She was convinced Jacques was a girl (I’d have to change his name to Jacqueline) so she brought over a thick leather work glove to check if he was really a she. Apparently she had gone online and done a whole bunch of research, including collect multiple images of cats asses. She now thinks Jacques is a boy. I asked if she wanted to go to the pet store with me but she didn’t so she took off and I got ready to go on my walk and did my short one then some jump roping and jumping jacks on the patio and some pushups and lunges too. Time to get fit again! I went up and showered then headed to the pet store, PetSmart and the grocery store then home again to play with Jacques and do more cleaning while he explored outside by himself. I watched Mean Girls on tv while updating this thing then went over to Mom’s for dinner. She made this delicious baked polenta / spinach / tomato / cheese dish and I pretty much rolled out of there as soon as dinner was over because they started a movie and I didn’t want to stick around for it. I went home and had some yogurt and strawberries, watched my shows then got ready for bed and read my new Martha Stewart Weddings.

Saturday 4/7, We woke up around 10:45 and Day made us a big delicious breakfast of waffles, eggs and bacon. Billy showed up for breakfast and his busted fiddle and we made him go around to the other door. Then we crawled back into bed and talked until Day got home with a bunch of fruit, so we got a big bowl of assorted fruit and got back into bed again. Around 2:30 we got up and ready and set off to purchase Casino Royale and some Killers cds. We went to Walmart which I’m totally against, but we decided they’d have what we needed and it would be an anthropological study in Stanwood culture. I got more stuff than I needed, and so did Jess, then we headed back home. I talked to Mom who was convinced my cat is a girl which made Jess and I laugh forever and we stopped at Country Burger for Oreo shakes. Billy was there when we got there so we watched Jess’ home videos and I read some magazines and Jess’ Sextrology book to determine Taurus likes and dislikes (Billy likes all bushes!) and we eventually cleaned up and headed to her Dad’s for dinner. We followed Billy over to his house so we could see his place and he could give us a cd of Trevor’s he had. We listened to it and Jess was convinced he was singing James Taylor songs, but it turns out that Trevor wrote them and Billy must’ve played them to her because she knew all the words. Dinner was ready not long after we arrived and it was delicious. We had steak, twice baked potatoes, sautéed mushrooms, salads with avocado and green peppers and French bread. Yum! After dinner Jess took a shower and we talked for a while then headed out to the living room where we settled onto the floor with pillows and blankets and kettle corn from the tulip fields to watch Casino Royale with that actor Linda doesn’t really like, which was a joke because she really liked him, like the rest of us. When it started she was like “Does everyone have their drool rags?” and Ken was like “Yup!” Jess and I both fell asleep off and on throughout the movie then headed off to bed when it was over. We talked in bed for a while about different kinds of kissers before going to sleep (“pucker those lips asshole!”).

Friday 4/6, Peggy let me leave at 12:30 so I went home and showered and ate lunch then called Jess to see if she wanted me to come up early but she had some other errands to run, so I called Trevor to see if he was around, but he was already en route to pick up instruments for their Portland trip so I called Rose to see if she was around and she was! So I drove up to Everett and spent the afternoon with her taking a trip down memory lane and consuming homemade Snickerdoodles and yogurt smoothies. Delicious! I heard from Jess around 5:30 and planned to meet up at her Mom’s. I beat her there so I talked to Day for a little bit then we took off for the store where we talked about Billy and Trevor and picked up Hebrew dogs then back home where we hung out and got the fire pit set up. We snacked on veggies while Jess looked through old notes and journals from middle school. When it was time to get the fire going the three of us went down to the water and I set up chairs while Day got the wood situated and fire going. Before we know it Day is walking down the lawn with a plastic cup I assume is filled with beer or wine and she’s walking right to the fire pit and says “Okaaaay…watch out!” and throws the cup onto the fire, which erupts and spreads onto the beach and we’re just standing there with our mouths open. It died down after a few seconds and we hear one of the neighbors a few houses down go “All right Day! Nice one” then went on to say he knew she had thrown gasoline on it because “Black smoke doesn’t lie” then I told Jessica that people would call her Mom “Crazy Beach Lady” so that’s what we called her for the rest of the night. One neighbor was playing country off his boat and another was playing rap, and Jess said she really liked the country and I said it was a novelty. She then called Billy and he brought his fiddle over and played it by the fire and though Jessica hated it, I was rather impressed by how much he’d learned in two weeks and could even hum along with "Sail Away Ladies". We all had two hot dogs and I was totally in love with mine even though Jess kept trying to wipe her ash all over it. We had our usual political / conspiracy discussions and then we talked about Trevor. Or rather, I asked Billy questions about Trevor and he avoided implicating him or saying too much about any one particular topic. It was kind of fun though. Billy stood up and lost his balance then all of a sudden we heard this terrible crunch and Billy had stepped on his fiddle. We felt really bad for him, but then Jessica said it was the universe’s way of telling Billy to stick to guitar playing. It was getting cold so we all migrated inside where Day had set up a bed for us and had herself turned in for the night. We all laid down and talked for a long time about sex and all sorts of other juicy topics and we kept having to shush Billy because he talks so fucking loud. I got some more dirt on Trevor but eventually we were really tired and Billy had told this really long, really terrible story so we attempted to kick him out and told him especially after that stinker of a story he had to leave but it took a while and he tried to convince us to let him stay. We weren’t having it and made him leave. It was after 1:30.

Thursday 4/5, I called Trevor to see if he had any interest in attending First Thursday but he had plans with his ex so I wasn’t counting on it. I got to Schuyler and Chrystol’s where I was told Jason wasn’t going with us which bummed me out, but I knew we’d still have a blast. I gave them some cookies and told them to hide them so B couldn’t have any, because I certainly didn’t make them for him. We took off and found parking fairly easily and walked over. We started up but it was totally packed with people everywhere. I found my painting and somehow it was about $1,000 cheaper than I remember, so either the price was lowered or I remembered the amount incorrectly. There were a lot of people in pleather or vinyl outfits which freaked me out. We had fun and saw a lot of interesting stuff and eventually headed back to their house and talked there for a while then I took off for Susan’s where I ate ice cream and we looked at stuff online then took off. Travers was checking IDs which was kind of funny then we immediately checked out coats and went upstairs. It was pretty packed but not with anyone we knew…until we spotted Max all done up complete with crop top and pants with clear vinyl cut outs so you could see his butt. We went down to dance and there were some good ones being played so we danced our asses off and eventually saw Teal and Darren. S and I were watching Max dance and totally cracking up then he looked over so I waved and he bolted over to us where I got a hug, but then I detected a German accent, so now I’m convinced he’s German, especially after he said “shorts.” He danced by us forever and kept like, playfully nudging me with his arm and looking all smitten. These girls were totally starting at him because I’m sure they think he’s a total freak. We wanted to go over by Jeff (who had shown up and was looking very cute with his little hooded sweatshirt), Teal and Darren but didn’t know how to get away from Max, so S and I commiserated that I would say we had to say hi to some friends so he wanted a hug then when I was walking away he grabbed me and asked me if I was coming back, I told him yes then took off again. Susan was waiting on the side of the dance floor just shaking her head. We made our way over to the boys who were getting down. There was an announcement for everyone to clear out the dance floor and soon there were about 12 guys dancing to Thriller which was hilarious and apparently the Seattle Men's Choir. Fun! We spotted Thomas and he asked me what I was doing on Saturday and I told him going up to Lake Goodwin and he gave me this "Pshaw!" and a shove in response, then went back to trying to convince Susan to go. Nothing else really monumental happened, we just danced by the boys and I sang to Teal then we decided to leave a little after 1:00. I asked Teal when he was fixing me up and he said he’d go get his friend Jeff, and I told him I knew Jeff and that he’s cute and nice and everything and he was like “I know, you want a taller man” and I kind of nodded, but he's cute, if he had just a few inches on him I’d be open to it. We took off to our cars and went home.

Wednesday 4/4, Talked to Schuyler a bit at work as him and Jason were on yard duty. I hit the grocery store on the way home for provisions and talked with Eliso who has two job offers up here for school psychologist positions so I’m SO ecstatic about that because she’ll be close and we can see each other all the time. Yay. So then I did some cleaning up of the litter box and left the back door open so J could do some exploring outside by himself without his leash for the first time. I was a bit nervous but he knows where home is and I was assuming he would come running if I shook his bag of cat food. I was bustling about doing things and I noticed I hadn’t seen him for about 10 minutes and couldn’t hear him so I started to worry and called his name. Nothing. I decided not to panic and to just keep doing stuff and he’d turn up. After 5 more minutes I decided to try again, so I called him and rustled his food bag and there he was! What a good cat! I closed the door up but for the rest of the night he mainly parked himself in front of the door because I think he longed to return to the outdoors sans leash and walking vest. I made dinner while talking to Susan, then confirmed with Kay-See and Richie a change in date of the murder mystery party which I figure is good so I can totally plan and get my house all decked out like a haunted house with mood lighting and spider webs and stuff. Spoooky! I whipped up a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip / butterscotch cookies, and there were like a million of them and watched ANTM off and on. I uploaded pictures to flickr and messaged back and forth with Kay-See and talked with Chrystol about coming to the party and First Thursday. Talked to Susan again before hitting the shower and climbing into bed to update this and do some new pictures on myspace.

Tuesday 4/3, I stayed late at work again because the dentist was running way behind so I was sitting around in the waiting room for 35 minutes longer than I should have. Once I finally got in that chair I was out of there in 20 minutes so that was fantastic, despite the super numb mouth. I started getting ready after work, but first did a few little chores, then showered, made dinner for myself and for Jacques and got ready to go meet Kay-See for bowling in W. Seattle. I took off sometime after 7 and when I got there Nikki spotted me and I was introduced to Courtney and when Kay-See manifested we started taking pictures and being fun girls. We worked on our stripper moves and apparently the boys’ eyes were popping out of their sockets. Nikki and I bonded over chapstick and gummy treats, who knew? I’m even more smitten than I was before, though I’m keeping it in check because he’s got a woman, but it’s always fun to flirt and work on my “boy confidence skills”. I got some Sour Patch Kids from the vending machine and we all shared, and Kay-See shared her Combos and they were all shocked it was my first Combo experience then assured me there are other wonderful flavors to sample. Jesse, Jake and Brandon kept coming over to chat then Courtney came over and said the company flirt wanted to know who I was but I was like “Ain’t no thang!” Um, so Jesse tells me Matt will be going to karaoke and that was his bargaining chip to get us girls to go too, so he comes by with Matt as Nikki had just stealthily provided me with a Combo and I’m mid-bite. Shit. They’re standing there looking at me and I’ve got this Combo half hanging out of my mouth. Attractive. Apparently you can’t take me anywhere. Anyway, I keep watching Kay-See bowl and notice how hot she looks from behind and that she’s totally got the hourglass figure thing going on so I tell her that then emphasize with an enthusiastic stationary back kick off the counter which Nikki found to be hilarious, so I did if for effect on other things too. Some good songs were on and we danced to those and the other boys were just standing around watching us because they were done with their games and were just waiting for us girls to finish to go to karaoke with them (Kay-See stipulated that we would only go if they didn’t shove microphones in our faces to sing and demonstrated by grabbing a water glass and mock karaoke-ing into it, all the while splashing Jake with the water still in the cup). As we were leaving I noticed how bold Nikki’s shoes were but he thought that mine were flashier, I said NO WAY, his bright red Puma sneaks were much flashier than my blue and white checked Vans, so I took a vote and it was decided that his were much more flash. I won! But not…We all walked to our cars and we followed Jake over to Yen Wor Village and met up with him and Matt before going in. There was some rowdy guy trying to dance getting kicked out right as we came in and all this commotion so it looked like it was going to be a very weird night…and it kind of was. So we go sit down with these two guys, um, James and…I don’t remember the other one. I don’t even remember which was which, but I think James was the cuter of the two even though Kay-See said he was suffering from a bad case of halitosis. They’re both super drunk and the one is a little out of control but somewhat entertaining. We sit down with them and start talking then Raj shows up, the one guy moves so Matt slides over next to me and we’re joking and half-singing along to some of the songs, but he kept saying that it was going to be an early night due to progressively dramatic scenes unfolding. It started getting really fun and there were a bunch of older songs being sung, and Kay-See and I really got into it when Salt n Peppa’s “What a Man” came on, and that girl really belted it out. Something happened with the loud drunk guy and Matt stood up and walked out, I don’t know what happened and I didn’t even know he wasn’t coming back until Jesse came back inside after finishing his song and telling us that he got in his car and took off and was trying to figure out what happened. No clue. So then Raj slides next to me and we start singing to all these songs, like Paul Simon, Cat Stevens and Dire Straights, it was fabulous then he went and got me some water and had it refilled like 3 times throughout the night. It’s very rare I can find a guy that will comply with my preference for water. 1 point – Raj. Then he starts putting his arm around me as we’re singing so I’m like, whatever, he’s really into it, then we start talking about Casablanca and I’ve never seen it so he tells me I should come over so we can watch it, then he starts holding my hand. Like, just one hand at first, then he started sandwiching my hand in between the both of his, and pretty soon he had our fingers interlocking. Kay-See could only look at me across the table with a raised eyebrow and slight smirk. I wrote a note to her that said “What’s going on here?” and we continued that high school behavior for a little while giggling and passing notes. Um, I was ready to go but Raj made me promise to stay until he’d sung one more song and though I protested that that could be 4 songs away, I promised and luckily him and Jake were up next. Jesse said he didn’t blame us for wanting to leave after all the drama that had unfolded (the drunk guy wouldn’t get off the stage when someone else was singing and dropped the mike) and didn’t try to make us feel guilty for leaving before 12:30. Raj had been badgering me all night to sing and kept telling me that next week I would, I kept telling him NO WAY, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so when we were leaving he gave Kay-See a hug then it was my turn and he kept his arm around me and was really driving home the point that next week I would sing. Um, nope, sorry Raj. His face was super close to mine and I kept wondering if he was going to try and kiss me and how in the open I felt standing toward the middle of the dance floor with him all close to me. But he didn’t. We waved at the other boys and hit the road gabbing all the way back to Kay-See’s. I drove home and got ready for bed and crashed out.

Monday 4/2, I dreamt that Trevor had hair down to the middle of his back and played drums. Weiiird. I stayed late at work because of a dentist appointment the next morning that would have me missing work. At home I talked to Jacques and fed him his dinner, then made my own dinner and watched tv while trying to work out the kinks of the MMP and everyone’s schedules. I went through this thing to fix typos and make other changes which was fun, but Christ I write a lot. It takes me forever to even get through one month’s worth of entries. I watched the finale of I Love NY and I can’t really believe she chose Tango, but whatever, she’s a crazy bitch. I talked to Chrystol earlier in the night about Trevor, Tavolata, the Art Walk and the wedding. Kind of a blah evening.

Sunday 4/1, I woke up around 8, did a few chores, fed Jacques, showered, put on comfy clothes then headed over to Kay-See’s to help finish up breakfast / brunch. I smelled the strata as soon as I got to the elevators and it smelled divine. We jointly whipped up the blueberry lemon coffee cake and Kay-See took care of the icing and that looked and smelled wonderful too by the time it was done. Then she prepped the salad and improvised a delicious vinaigrette and we were ready to rock and roll. We talked about Tuesday a little bit then told me some disturbing things about karaoke Matt. Richie and Cory showed up the laughter and fun began. Kay-See served up breakfast and we all had seconds. We talked about kissing and being thrown around in the bedroom and other relationship-y / sex stuff then broke out Apples to Apples and played that forever. We discussed the murder mystery party and Richie is so pumped for it that it got the rest of us all excited. I lost Apples to Apples, but it was still really fun. R and C took off around 2 and I stayed and chatted with Kay-See while she cleaned up, tried calling Chrystol and Schuyler then took off for home. I talked to Chrystol as I was arriving home and her and S can’t make it to the murder mystery party so that sucks but it’ll be ok. Then she told me that Jason said that in another life we’d make a really hot couple and I said I agreed and that if things don’t work out he’ll meet up with me in the Ukraine. I told Chrystol that Jason is still an enigma to me but I’d take Jason in a good mood any day. I talked to Susan for a long time on the phone then crawled into bed and fell asleep for two hours. I ate some dinner and prepped the murder mystery party stuff and hung out watching some tv and went to bed.

Saturday 3/31, I woke up when K & S got in the shower at 7:30 and eventually got out of bed around 8:15 or so to talk with them before they took off. Skylar left me some lemon bars on the counter, literally on the counter, no plate. Kassie thought that was hilarious. I did a few chores because I was feeling better then said bye to my fav sis and got really wonderful hugs. I got back in bed because I was tired and wanted to take it easy until later in the day and ended up watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and playing on the internet until lunch time. I ate a salad and about 45 animal crackers and made myself feel a little sick. I called Trevor around 1:00 and left a message and made plans to meet Kay-See at her place at 5:00 then Susan to drop off OC. Trevor ended up calling me back at 3:00 and asked if I wanted to grab lunch, and though I wasn’t hungry it was a good excuse to go into Seattle and see him and hang out. We hung out and chatted while he finished his coffee then we set off for some little neighborhood café and it was such a beautiful walk looking at all the huge houses and flowers and trees in bloom, plus it was sunny so I was feeling all twitterpated, even though I was still snotty. Curse you sickness! It was hard not to make out with him. We got to the little café and as we sat down he was like “You’ve got some beautiful eyes girl. They’re all sparkly and stuff” which made me giggle then realize that we hadn’t actually hung out in the day time, it’s always been night. Some people had put their stroller kind of by our table but against the wall and the waitress was like “Is that your baby?” and I was like “Oh, no” and Trevor was like “Yes that’s our baby, we keep him against the wall” or something hilarious and the people whose stroller it was looked a little concerned then Trevor and I joked that we would keep our baby 5 feet away from the table in a corner. I got some soup because it sounded good and I wasn’t all that hungry and we talked about his ex and family stuff again which I find fun, especially the story about the cookies his mom makes and I told him the Jessica / carob story. He picked up the tab which was really nice of him then we walked back toward his place when Kay-See called saying she was ready for me anytime. Trevor and I talked some more at his place but when 5 rolled around I told him I should probably go so he walked me out and gave me one of his cds then kind of hugged me and kept his arm around my shoulders and walked me to my car. He invited me out to his friends’ party that night though I knew there was no way I’d make it, but it was a very nice gesture. Then we hugged again and made googly eyes at each other and he kissed me on the cheek which I thought was adorable then I took off. Kay-See met me down at the front to let me into the garage then we chit chatted for a while and made our shopping list then set off for Michelle’s to pick something up then over toward Trader Joe’s but decided to take an extended field trip over to where Trevor lives so I could show her then back toward Madison Park where we parked and walked around. I wanted some sort of baked good, but the baker just closed so I was bummed. Oh well. We got to Trader Joe’s, did some shopping (Kay-See found some cupcakes to satisfy my craving), then back to Kay-See’s to start the Canadian bacon strada. It was really easy, though I was only allowed to grate cheese, cut English muffins and bacon then arrange in pan and pour mixture over because I didn’t want to contaminate it. I decided to go to Michelle’s comedy lingerie show in Ballard so Kay-See and I headed over to Susan’s to drop off OC Season 2 then into Ballard for Live Girls. It was really funny, though a little longer than I expected, but Bing, one of the hosts, was so hot that both Kay-See and I were making comments throughout the whole show about the naughty things we would do to him. Who would have known someone could make red patent leather shoes look so hot. And that hair. And that voice. Hot. Anyway, Michelle’s costumes were the best: old lady, homeless person in a wheel chair (will give hand job for blow) and lastly a hobbit, complete with glowing sword. After the show we talked with Michelle for a few minutes and she threw her Depends at us for a souvenir then Bing came by and was like “You might want to hang onto that” yuck yuck yuck. Kay-See and I didn’t even know what to say. We took off and I dropped Kay-See off at home and got home around 12:45 or so, watched a little bit of SNL (repeat with Arcade Fire, yes!) then went to sleep feeling much better than the day before.

Friday 3/30, I felt like shit all day and had disgusting phlegm coming out of all sorts of orifices so I asked Peggy if I could leave around 3:45 and pretty much crashed out when I got home until about 7:30. I felt better when I woke up and fixed my gnocchi (I couldn’t really taste it unfortunately) then started Wedding Crashers. Kassie and Skylar came home and rearranged some stuff in the garage to take with them then I showed Kassie where we’re staying in Grand Cayman and looked around on myspace a little then they took off. I was asleep by 10:30.