Thursday 5/17, I went on my short walk then RELAXED which felt so good. I sat in my room, on my bed, in the sun and it felt wonderful. I made plans with Susan for dancing and got ready, and did my makeup and hair differently than usual then applied my pirate and parrot tattoo and set off. I contemplated calling Trevor but then thought, why bother? If he wants to talk or see me then he knows where to find me. I need to be done with this nonsense. I got to Susan’s and we talked while she finished getting ready then we set off. We talked to the bouncer on the way in and he wasn’t all handsy which was good. We spotted Darren (birthday boy) then went upstairs. We danced for a bit then took a break where I saw Michael and yelled at him as he walked by. I’m not sure how it happened, but one minute he’s telling us how hot we are and the next I’m making out with him while Susan laughs and takes pictures. It wasn’t entirely hot because I couldn’t stop laughing, which doesn’t help making out ya’ll in case you didn’t know, because he’s gay and it’s been a while since I’ve had a good make out. I was totally shocked and I’m sure it’ll be evident in the picture(s). I did get into it eventually and gave him a little lip bite, in addition to quite a bit of tongue. Mwahaha! After we came up for air he bought me a drink and Susan went off to find Darren (for a little hot gay boy making out of her own I assume) and we talked about Eric (I didn’t bring up the subject!) and I really hope that what he said isn’t true because it breaks my heart. I can’t even convey how much my heart hurts for him. I don’t even want to save him, I just want him to know that I’m his friend and I think he’s better than all this nonsense and worth so much more and capable of so much more. I truly believe he’s a good person and deserves so much. I wonder if his ex knows…or would have any influence…I’ve got some decisions to make…anyway, back to Neighbours. He did mention that back when we were dating that Eric really liked me so that means something to me, that they would have talked about that at some point. Sigh. Anyway, the three of us went out to dance and Michael was being all forward and handsy and totally cracking us up, especially when he fell on the floor and was dancing up by Tye (who some guys had laughed at earlier because he was wearing a referee jersey, so I made a point to give him a hug in their line of sight, jerks). Susan left so naturally Michael and I kissed some more and I believe thoroughly confused those around us. We watched Bun on the new stage and I was mesmerized as usual. But not as mesmerized as I was by the go-go boy in the cage gyrating on the floor and grinding on the bars which Susan captured a good portion of on video. Teal and Jeff showed up and Teal told us we looked good (along with the coat check guy who complimented both of us as well, I guess we did look good) and we all danced together. Michael started making out with some guy and Teal made a sad face and expressed an interest in making out with Michael and I was like “You probably still can, I mean, I made out with him earlier” (shrug) I don’t think this made him feel any better. There was this guy wearing a HUSTLER shirt that I had originally shown an interest in because he was big, but then Susan spotted him making out with a fat girl on the stage and spanking her. Gross. I spotted Max and said hi to him a while later, then he was dancing over by us with a girl (phew) and some guy, who came over and asked me if I wanted to dance but I was like “No thanks!” not realizing he was with Max, so then Max comes over and asks me why I don’t want to dance with his friend (who was probably one of the cutest guys to ever come on to me at Neighbours) and I said I was just dancing with Susan. He goes “He’s from (somewhere) and is a surfer. He’s young, like very young” which apparently is the magic word for me because I was like “Young?! How young?” but he put his finger up like “Tsk tsk, you had your chance” I told Teal and he was like “Um, yeah, you should totally sleep with him. He’s foreign and hot” but I didn’t. The music was pretty decent all night and we danced our asses off, except that Von Trapp didn’t play Freeze Frame as Susan had requested (though it did give me an opportunity to wave to Travers in the dj box). We decided to leave around 1:30 and I got a final kiss from Michael and we headed out just as Craig was pulling up on his bike. I laughed for most of the way to the car thinking about Michael. I called Susan as I got home and she stayed on the phone with me as I walked room to room with a big knife to make sure no one was in my house and going to murder me in my sleep. Or Jacques.

Wednesday 5/16, I went straight down to the U-Village after work and read the graphic Cosmo article again before heading over to my class. I was disappointed to learn we were going to make a rhubarb (and strawberry) pie. Kay-See and Stacy showed up and K told me some things about the teacher then we almost got caught due to an incomplete packet. I had to help roll out the dough and was terrified, but did ok I think. The apple pie was really good but the strawberry rhubarb was superb. I was really surprised since I hate rhubarb but I attribute it to the butter crust, whereas the lard crust was lacking in the flavor department, and surprisingly the flaky dept. since lard is supposed to make it flakier than butter. Plus I prefer the tapioca instead of potato starch. We also made little individual tarts that were very good though I’d put more custard in mine next time. We went to Zao after class and I brought the Cosmo article so we could cringe at some of the entries then talked about sex and I had a near scare with a Kentucky Eric and Stacy’s sister, but luckily it was a false alarm. We stayed there until about 10:30 and made plans to go out Saturday night so I can get some action.

Tuesday 5/15, I headed to Grandma's straight after work to keep her company for the evening. I suggested we go out to dinner and I would treat, so she chose Chinese and we went to her favorite place and the staff were all really nice and packed up her favorite soup on the house. She got a little weepy a few times but she pretty much kept it together. We went back to her house and I ate about 7 chocolates then took Toto out for a walk. Grandma and I sat in the living room and talked and I showed her how to work her AC. I left around 8:15 and did all my little chores and talked to Mom for a while before going upstairs to read and relax for the rest of the evening.

Monday 5/14, I went for my short walk and really pushed it and was back in a half hour so that felt really good. Plus I had a hot guy wave at me. I pretended like it wasn't any big thing but I was secretly hoping he'd make some gesture since I'd passed him on my way up the hill at the beginning of my walk...and sure enough on my way home, passing by again, he waved and smiled. Heh heh. At home I did a little more clean up then took some pictures with the flowers Neil gave me, though just having gotten back from my walk and not having any makeup on I look a little stark. I ate a bunch of cheese...a lot of trifle. I talked to Susan, uploaded pictures to flickr and watched Music and Lyrics or whatever it's called.