Monday 7/30, No late night text, no early morning message. No nothing all day until I changed my status to "Karrah is ugly and boring" then he left me a flattering comment, but no apology for not calling or ditching my ass so I got madder and vowed to call him in the evening because I needed to at least let him know that flakiness bothers me (4th time at that). I can't really expect him to read my mind but I just figured it's kind of common courtesy and respectful to call someone when you're totally blowing off plans you had with them. For another girl. Assuming. Peggy let me leave at 3:30 so I made some phone calls when I got home: fixed Court and my hotel reservations, gave her Eliso's parent's number, called Uncle Larry for Kelly's number and chatted with him a bit, talked to Eliso and lastly to Doug about wedding presents. I went on my long walk to blow off some steam and to get some exercise for once this frickin summer and felt great when I got back. I took a shower and blew off some more steam if you know what I mean, so by the time I got out I was in a great mood and thought the whole N situation was getting funnier by the minute instead of making me madder. I called Susan as I was fixing my dinner and filled her in and listened to her boy drama. I got ready and took off to the mall around 7 for a dress for Sos' wedding and struck out at J Crew but scored at Nordstrom in the TBD dept. I ended up with three dresses and they're all so cute and I'm totally wearing one for my birthday party. It's pink. And adorable. The girl was so helpful that I never would have found the cutest dress if it weren't for her. Next up was Victoria's Secret because I had a $10 off anything card and I needed a strapless bra for my new dress so I tried one on, it fit, I purchased and was out of there and calling Mom. Unfortunately, one of the hearts fell out of my ear and I think it was in there, but after calling they claim they didn't find it. Wah! I only had them reunited for a week and a half! Talked to Mom about N and my party as I drove home. Arrived there around 9, called N at 9:30 and left a vm for him to call me back when he got a chance...and surprise surprise, he didn't call me back. I could see that he was on myspace even though his "Online Now" icon is disabled, you can still see if someone's online if you go to your mailbox and look at their picture from a previously sent or received message, so I knew his ass was on myspace so this perplexed me even more. I decided to turn my computer off and read for a while and eventually turned in.
Sunday 7/29, I woke up when Mom and Dad were pulling out (7:00) and Dad yelled up to me that they were leaving so I sleepily got up and said bye and I loved them. I couldn't really fall back asleep so I got my book out and started reading and was soon fast asleep. I woke up at 9:15, got up, started packing my things and told K and R they could stay and hang out if they wanted but I wanted to get back over to the other side to get some stuff done around the house, to avoid traffic and to be a sloth for the afternoon with N. I left and it took me exactly 2 hours and 8 minutes. I fed J, showered and started putting some things away. I called N at 12:30 and left a voice mail that I was home and asked if he still wanted to hang out. I didn't hear right back from him so I crawled into bed and started reading again...but thought it was weird that he wasn't calling back. I ended up falling asleep until about 3 and checked myspace when I woke up and he had sent me a message at 1:30 (hmm, why not just call? it would take 2 minutes) saying he was going to visit his Dad in the hospital and that plans were fuzzy for the evening because he had laundry. Really? I'm getting ditched for laundry? Ouch. Whatever. Then at the end it said "Will give you a ring later on?" and signed Charismo. So I was a little irritated, but told myself to get over it as he was visiting his Pops. I did some work around the house and put some of my furniture back then headed to Grandma's to pick her up for dinner. It had been like 3.5 weeks since I'd seen her and felt bad, but she looked good and wanted to know all about boys and whatnot so I filled her in. I was a little cranky and she noticed that, I think it's because I was tired and irritated at myself (and at Nick) for sitting around doing nothing all day waiting on a guy. We got to the house and it looked good as Mom had been painting and cleaning in preparation for putting it on the market. We had a very good dinner then talked real estate and moving plans. Grandma and I decided to leave around 7:30 and I dropped her off then called Kay-See cause she had called me while I was at Mom's. I told her about N and she was irritated too and thought that the laundry bit was just an excuse and that I had totally been ditched. So I'm at home, feeling angry, but also not as I was watching EHM and who can really be angry while watching that? and I check N's page and there's a comment from a girl that basically confirmed that he'd had other plans that day, and they weren't with me. At this point I'm irritated not because he's probably seeing another girl(s) but because he can't just be up front and tell me he doesn't want to hang out with me. And also that he ditched me to hang out with said other girl. That's what pissed me off the mostest. I left K a comment and told her to view what I had found and she called me within minutes and I couldn't help ask "What's wrong with me? Why do I keep getting ditched by guys?" and started to get teary because my self-esteem was in the toilet. First Brandon then Eric then Trevor (kind of, not really, but it helps my theory stand up so I'm including him) and now N. I'm like a fucking leper. And I don't know why. What is so hard about calling to say you can't hang out? It's better than leaving someone completely hanging out there waiting for your ass. And while you’re at it, don’t ditch me for another girl. I don’t care if you’re dating other girls but don’t break plans with me to hang out with one of them. I hung up with K, read a little and expected to get a late night text or early morning message from N. I had another think coming. At least I had a dream about my high school crush that made up for it a little bit, even though he's got a kid which kind of kills it for me.
Saturday 7/28, K and I got up a little after 8 to take a walk so I went in to say hi to Mom and Dad and they said they were going for a walk too so we all set out together, but K and I kept our pace up and hit the rail road tracks far before Mom and Dad did. We decided to walk down toward the river and continued talking about boys and dating and relationships then Mom and Dad arrived so we walked with them for a little bit but eventually left them in the dust again. I think R was still in bed when we got back, but I got dressed and headed down to the motorhome where Dad was prepping the pancakes so I sat in there talking with them and urging Dad to hurry up because I was STARVING. Pancakes were good of course, and we all hassled R for the way he eats them and other foods. We sat around chatting a little more then started to prep for our trip down the river. We set out a little after 11 in two cars. We attempted to put in where we usually do but some fire fighter with an inflated ego told us we couldn't, so we went to the other side of the bridge and struggled with the raft on that side. The truck died and Dad decided to deal with it later so we left it and hopped aboard. Along for the ride was Linda, the neighbor, with her granddaughter Katie (I think...) so we had a semi-full raft, but our usually rowing strength was somewhat lacking. I definitely got wetter than anyone else and started to get irritated by the end of it as I was one of the only ones paddling and was continually getting the wettest. Oh well. At least the potato chips stayed dry. Back at the camp we all helped unload the supplies and raft then R was hungry and was not satisfied with just snacking so we dropped Dad back off at the truck and made sure he had it going before taking off for the 59er Diner where I had an Oreo milkshake and R got a burger to bridge the gap until dinner. R insisted on paying so that was cool. Upon our return R and K went down to the pond to hang out on the inner tubes and I decided to skim the pool for a while then took my tube in there with a few Vogues (thanks to Susan) and worked on my tan that way. Dad eventually got in and ended up pushing me from side to side because I'm afraid the slant kept guiding me to his side (he found that rationalization hilarious) and eventually Mom got her suit on and came in as well. After about an hour K and R came back up and K got in with her tube and we bounced off each other and Dad had two tubes to contend with. I got out and went up to take a shower which felt so incredibly good that I took an extra long one and just sat in there reminiscing about Eric and enjoying how good it felt to be there at that moment. When I went back down Dad had started to drain the pool and R and I decided it was going to take FOREVER that way so we started strategizing ways to make it go out faster and eventually came up with a decent system, but unfortunately this led to me getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. We got most of the pool emptied and there was water EVERYWHERE then K came back out from her shower and she helped and R told us to take our clothes off and while emptying, but we weren't having it. Then the three of us worked together to get the fricken thing turned over and the rest of the water out. Dad was washing all the cars, including mine (I had vacuumed it out earlier before my shower) and came to fold the pool up when he was done and him and R got it situated in the pump house. K wanted to go for a run so she took off and when she returned dinner was ready to be consumed. Mom and Dad told their engagement stories and they were hilarious, poor Dad. We all sat around the campfire again talking and having fun and Mom made a surprise peach pie from scratch so we enjoyed that and eventually all kind of headed upstairs for bed after saying bye to Mom and Dad since they were rolling out at the butt crack of dawn the next morning. The three of us talked for a while in the loft before going to sleep and I think R was doing some talking in his sleep.
Friday 7/27, I had been messaging with Charismo all day about being sloths together upon my return from Plain on Sunday...this is important information to know for my Sunday blog. Our messages were cute and cuddly and probably cringe inducing to an outsider. Anyway, after work I went home and finished packing, took care of a few items and set out for Plain via Blewett Pass. The drive is scenic and all but I much prefer Steven's. I feel like I know it like the back of my hand and know exactly how long it will take me from a certain point...Blewett, I had no idea and the drivers were pissing me off. I arrived at the property around 7:30 and Mom had dinner ready so we all sat down and I couldn't stop eating it...or, I suppose it was more like inhaling. Kay-See and R arrived around 8:30 and we all sat around the blazing campfire Dad had built just talking and making smores. K and R threw the football around a little bit but we all ended up back around the fire for more chatting and downing of tequila. I was really tired so I finally went up to get ready for bed around 11 and K and R weren't too far behind, maybe a half hour, after going down to the river. There was almost a full moon which made me think of Eric...who I am now convinced I will never get over. What can you do? Apparently nothing. Anyway, I started telling K stories from the past week and R insisted on hearing one of them that I said wasn't relevant, but he kept pestering so I finally told it then he got all mad or something and moved to one of the other beds, off K's, and declared he was sleeping over there and if K wanted to sleep by him she had to move over. I telepathically told her not to do it, but my signal must have been jammed because she did. We all fell asleep not too much later.
Sunday 7/29, I woke up when Mom and Dad were pulling out (7:00) and Dad yelled up to me that they were leaving so I sleepily got up and said bye and I loved them. I couldn't really fall back asleep so I got my book out and started reading and was soon fast asleep. I woke up at 9:15, got up, started packing my things and told K and R they could stay and hang out if they wanted but I wanted to get back over to the other side to get some stuff done around the house, to avoid traffic and to be a sloth for the afternoon with N. I left and it took me exactly 2 hours and 8 minutes. I fed J, showered and started putting some things away. I called N at 12:30 and left a voice mail that I was home and asked if he still wanted to hang out. I didn't hear right back from him so I crawled into bed and started reading again...but thought it was weird that he wasn't calling back. I ended up falling asleep until about 3 and checked myspace when I woke up and he had sent me a message at 1:30 (hmm, why not just call? it would take 2 minutes) saying he was going to visit his Dad in the hospital and that plans were fuzzy for the evening because he had laundry. Really? I'm getting ditched for laundry? Ouch. Whatever. Then at the end it said "Will give you a ring later on?" and signed Charismo. So I was a little irritated, but told myself to get over it as he was visiting his Pops. I did some work around the house and put some of my furniture back then headed to Grandma's to pick her up for dinner. It had been like 3.5 weeks since I'd seen her and felt bad, but she looked good and wanted to know all about boys and whatnot so I filled her in. I was a little cranky and she noticed that, I think it's because I was tired and irritated at myself (and at Nick) for sitting around doing nothing all day waiting on a guy. We got to the house and it looked good as Mom had been painting and cleaning in preparation for putting it on the market. We had a very good dinner then talked real estate and moving plans. Grandma and I decided to leave around 7:30 and I dropped her off then called Kay-See cause she had called me while I was at Mom's. I told her about N and she was irritated too and thought that the laundry bit was just an excuse and that I had totally been ditched. So I'm at home, feeling angry, but also not as I was watching EHM and who can really be angry while watching that? and I check N's page and there's a comment from a girl that basically confirmed that he'd had other plans that day, and they weren't with me. At this point I'm irritated not because he's probably seeing another girl(s) but because he can't just be up front and tell me he doesn't want to hang out with me. And also that he ditched me to hang out with said other girl. That's what pissed me off the mostest. I left K a comment and told her to view what I had found and she called me within minutes and I couldn't help ask "What's wrong with me? Why do I keep getting ditched by guys?" and started to get teary because my self-esteem was in the toilet. First Brandon then Eric then Trevor (kind of, not really, but it helps my theory stand up so I'm including him) and now N. I'm like a fucking leper. And I don't know why. What is so hard about calling to say you can't hang out? It's better than leaving someone completely hanging out there waiting for your ass. And while you’re at it, don’t ditch me for another girl. I don’t care if you’re dating other girls but don’t break plans with me to hang out with one of them. I hung up with K, read a little and expected to get a late night text or early morning message from N. I had another think coming. At least I had a dream about my high school crush that made up for it a little bit, even though he's got a kid which kind of kills it for me.
Saturday 7/28, K and I got up a little after 8 to take a walk so I went in to say hi to Mom and Dad and they said they were going for a walk too so we all set out together, but K and I kept our pace up and hit the rail road tracks far before Mom and Dad did. We decided to walk down toward the river and continued talking about boys and dating and relationships then Mom and Dad arrived so we walked with them for a little bit but eventually left them in the dust again. I think R was still in bed when we got back, but I got dressed and headed down to the motorhome where Dad was prepping the pancakes so I sat in there talking with them and urging Dad to hurry up because I was STARVING. Pancakes were good of course, and we all hassled R for the way he eats them and other foods. We sat around chatting a little more then started to prep for our trip down the river. We set out a little after 11 in two cars. We attempted to put in where we usually do but some fire fighter with an inflated ego told us we couldn't, so we went to the other side of the bridge and struggled with the raft on that side. The truck died and Dad decided to deal with it later so we left it and hopped aboard. Along for the ride was Linda, the neighbor, with her granddaughter Katie (I think...) so we had a semi-full raft, but our usually rowing strength was somewhat lacking. I definitely got wetter than anyone else and started to get irritated by the end of it as I was one of the only ones paddling and was continually getting the wettest. Oh well. At least the potato chips stayed dry. Back at the camp we all helped unload the supplies and raft then R was hungry and was not satisfied with just snacking so we dropped Dad back off at the truck and made sure he had it going before taking off for the 59er Diner where I had an Oreo milkshake and R got a burger to bridge the gap until dinner. R insisted on paying so that was cool. Upon our return R and K went down to the pond to hang out on the inner tubes and I decided to skim the pool for a while then took my tube in there with a few Vogues (thanks to Susan) and worked on my tan that way. Dad eventually got in and ended up pushing me from side to side because I'm afraid the slant kept guiding me to his side (he found that rationalization hilarious) and eventually Mom got her suit on and came in as well. After about an hour K and R came back up and K got in with her tube and we bounced off each other and Dad had two tubes to contend with. I got out and went up to take a shower which felt so incredibly good that I took an extra long one and just sat in there reminiscing about Eric and enjoying how good it felt to be there at that moment. When I went back down Dad had started to drain the pool and R and I decided it was going to take FOREVER that way so we started strategizing ways to make it go out faster and eventually came up with a decent system, but unfortunately this led to me getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. We got most of the pool emptied and there was water EVERYWHERE then K came back out from her shower and she helped and R told us to take our clothes off and while emptying, but we weren't having it. Then the three of us worked together to get the fricken thing turned over and the rest of the water out. Dad was washing all the cars, including mine (I had vacuumed it out earlier before my shower) and came to fold the pool up when he was done and him and R got it situated in the pump house. K wanted to go for a run so she took off and when she returned dinner was ready to be consumed. Mom and Dad told their engagement stories and they were hilarious, poor Dad. We all sat around the campfire again talking and having fun and Mom made a surprise peach pie from scratch so we enjoyed that and eventually all kind of headed upstairs for bed after saying bye to Mom and Dad since they were rolling out at the butt crack of dawn the next morning. The three of us talked for a while in the loft before going to sleep and I think R was doing some talking in his sleep.
Friday 7/27, I had been messaging with Charismo all day about being sloths together upon my return from Plain on Sunday...this is important information to know for my Sunday blog. Our messages were cute and cuddly and probably cringe inducing to an outsider. Anyway, after work I went home and finished packing, took care of a few items and set out for Plain via Blewett Pass. The drive is scenic and all but I much prefer Steven's. I feel like I know it like the back of my hand and know exactly how long it will take me from a certain point...Blewett, I had no idea and the drivers were pissing me off. I arrived at the property around 7:30 and Mom had dinner ready so we all sat down and I couldn't stop eating it...or, I suppose it was more like inhaling. Kay-See and R arrived around 8:30 and we all sat around the blazing campfire Dad had built just talking and making smores. K and R threw the football around a little bit but we all ended up back around the fire for more chatting and downing of tequila. I was really tired so I finally went up to get ready for bed around 11 and K and R weren't too far behind, maybe a half hour, after going down to the river. There was almost a full moon which made me think of Eric...who I am now convinced I will never get over. What can you do? Apparently nothing. Anyway, I started telling K stories from the past week and R insisted on hearing one of them that I said wasn't relevant, but he kept pestering so I finally told it then he got all mad or something and moved to one of the other beds, off K's, and declared he was sleeping over there and if K wanted to sleep by him she had to move over. I telepathically told her not to do it, but my signal must have been jammed because she did. We all fell asleep not too much later.
posted by Karrah at 7:25 PM
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