Monday 9/24, I got off an hour early because of a client lunch so I headed straight home and called Kodak about my camera and they told me I’d have to send it in and that it would be about $135 to fix plus S+H and taxes and all that so then I’m pissed because this camera is only a year and a half old and a new camera would be like $200 - ish. I called Kassie to rant and vent and she listened attentively…then asked for all my accessories. Then I called Ian and didn’t really rant, I think, but instead expressed my frustration then asked him what kind of camera he would recommend. Then we talked about my g-problem and he was glad I clarified and we hung up not too much later. I cleaned a bit and got irritated with my cat and vented to Sue who’s got her fingers crossed for me. Dad showed up and I ranted about my camera again then showed him the bathrooms and soon we were off to Costco to look at new cameras. They didn’t have anything that made my stomach flip so we headed toward Bellevue, stopping at Outback on the way for some dinner (filet kebobs, with pineapple natch) and proceeded onto Best Buy. I saw 2 cameras I really liked because they were cute, but Dad wanted me to pick based on more criteria than that and wanted me to go with another Kodak, but I told him I was boycotting and didn’t want to give them more money with policies like that. Even though I do already know how to use their cameras and it had the biggest screen. I almost went with an Olympus but decided on the white Casio instead because it was the cutest. Dad rolled him eyes more than once, but totally indulged me. We checked out with a phone call to Aubs, who wanted me to spill the dirty details about Ian but I was with Dad so I obviously didn’t, but earlier Dad told me a story about how she had my back when he was asking her questions about me and Ian. Nice. Not that there’s anything to be worried about with him, everyone seems to like him: Kristel, Eliso and Jake and I think even Susan (the toughest critic I’ve got), but it’s just funny that she wouldn’t give anything up. On the way home we stopped at DQ and I got an Oreo Blizzard and ate almost all of it. I told the guy to pick for me between Oreo and Mint Oreo and he’s all “Strawberry!” and I was like “Ack! No!” He didn’t speak English very well. At home I helped Dad get settled and he helped me get the new tv hooked up. I talked to Susan about plans the next day, said good night to Dad, showered, played with the new camera, texted Ian back and eventually drifted off to sleep watching the news.

Sunday 9/23, I woke up around 10 and finally got Ian to wake up around 11 after rubbing his back and stroking his hair and neck, it was really nice. We were soon up and moving after a little morning make out / heavy petting session and it was about 12:30 or so. He took me to Grand Central Bakery again and we both got sandwiches and he got soup. I wolfed mine because I was starving then I had a few bites of his soup while we looked up "fennel" on his iphone and he tried to identify the fennel by comparing it to the picture of a live plant. We sat and talked for a long time and took our time eating and noticed how many pregnant women there were or people with kids and apparently Sellwood is the place to move if you're going to have a family. Then he asked me if I thought it was coincidence that he lived in Sellwood and there were all these pregnant women there. Har har. We also discussed our "first date" that we're going to have next time we're together so the people around us will have something to cringe at. We grabbed two cookies for the road and headed out, stopping for some music at the library and to drop off some flyers then down to the river. Unfortunately I wasn't feeling on top of my game, but I tried to grin and bear it. I kicked a pine cone around as he talked to Chuck and I threw a ball for a dog a couple times then we parked on a bench by the river. We commented on the senior picture taking kid, the kid on the leash and tried to determine at what age do you finally decide the kid is capable of not being on the leash and that maybe if they didn't have the kid on the leash they'd lose some weight because they'd actually have to move to get him. I tried to turn my camera on to take some pictures but it wouldn't, so Ian took some and since it was 3 we headed back to his car and back to his house. I packed up and we watched about half an episode of Office because he wanted to show me the awkward dating part. I finally told him I needed to go so he carried one of my bags down for me and we stood and talked and kissed for a while by my car and I explained a little bit about my girl stuff and we hugged and I started pulling out and saw he was peeking out his kitchen window (<333) so I waved one last time and headed out. Found the freeway fine and was on my way. I made insane time and was home after 2 hours 40 minutes on the nose (compared to 3 hours 40 minutes to get down there) and only got flipped off (that I know of) once. Well, she gave me a double flip off so maybe that counts as two. Maybe people shouldn't drive slowly in the fast lane then speed up when someone attempts to pass them, on multiple occasions, so that person is forced to cut them off. Bitch. Anyway, I made it home in record time and talked to Susan for a good chunk of it and was amazed I got there and back on one tank of gas. At home I texted Ian and got an adorable one back that he was gushing to all his friends about our weekend, then I was lazy and didn't do much for the rest of the evening except take some meds, ate a large salad and watched tv. And tried to figure out my camera because it would turn on but only when plugged in. I uploaded pictures to flickr and went to bed relatively early because I was exhausted.

Saturday 9/22, I woke up fairly early because of the skateboarding kid outside and just watched Ian sleep for a while and just thought about random things then eventually woke him up because it had been like 45 minutes. We got up and ready while listening to music and flirting then rolled out to some little neighborhood where there was a bagel place. We had lunch / breakfast and sat outside in the beautiful weather (+1 PDX) talking and observing people as they walked by. I thought I saw one of my professors from college, but Ian pointed out that that guy looks like almost any guy since the only characteristics I could come up with were “a beard and a shirt like that” so for the rest of the weekend he would go “Hey, it’s Doug!” and I would laugh hysterically, playfully grab his arm and tell him to shut up. I asked him if he's ever been in a fight and he clocked some kid in the lunch room real good. Ouch. Then he showed me the face he made when he got punched in the stomach which was the same face as something else that I can't remember. He told me how he stares down guys in bars when they try to stare him down first, which totally amused me and had me a bit baffled. We went to Jackpot Records or some place and on our walk over talked about unruly children (+1 Seattle) then perused the music selections for a little bit. We continued on our way and ended up in American Apparel so we could see what size I am so he can hook it up, but we couldn’t find them so we left. He had me call him so I could hear the “boinnnng!” ring tone he picked for me. We headed to another neighborhood so he could exchange a dress for his niece, so we went through all the stuff, and I’ll admit, it was really fun and there were so many cute things in there, but it doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind about children. I still don’t want them, don’t worry ya’ll. I did, however, pick up a shirt for Harper because it’ll be his birthday in about a month so I thought I might as well pick up something unique for him, and I helped Ian decide on a new outfit for “Paige”. God, he felt so bad about that. We rolled out and headed downtown. As we were walking to the market we were talking about sex and celebrities and he said something that made me mock-pout, but I can’t remember what it was and he told me we should cross the street and fight about it over there and to never be sad again if that was going to be the face I make. I got mock offended. He said something really hilarious right as we were walking up but I can’t remember. We walked around in there and looked at stuff forever and just enjoyed each other’s company. We laughed and discussed things, then took some pictures and laughed at this lady who walked by us singing as if on cue when Ian suggested people watching. We walked a little more then went back to the car and headed up toward the Rose Garden with a detour to Ben and Jerry’s for some cold creamy treats. He asked the girl if it was sherbet or sherbert and she agreed with me and I was like “+1 point – Seattle!” and he protested that there’s no second “r” then gave a “whatever” to shrug it off. We sat out in the sun and soaked it up and headed up the hill and gawked at all the huge, beautiful houses on the way up. We were kind of lost and ended up in a cemetery and talked about knocking the headstones down accidentally while trying to turn around and having them topple down the hill into the road. We eventually found our way to the Rose Garden after we had given up hope of finding it, secured parking and started walking down. We sat in the grass for a while and took a lot of pictures and he got some cute ones, I didn’t really, he’s just a much better photographer than I am. It goes with that whole arty / compositionally inclined character of his. We saw some garish wedding ensembles but didn’t let it distract us too long before returning to smell the roses and photograph bees in the flowers (Ian, not me). We found a makeshift bench and sat together talking and watching YouTube videos on his phone for a while then we took off and headed back to his place. His roommate was there so I chatted with him a bit and he seems really nice and was watching Arrested Dev so he got some points there then pointed out that Portland has less traffic (+1 Portland). Ian answered some emails then we set out on our walk to get dinner and went to the Philly Cheese Steak place where him and Sos used to go all the time and it was goooood. I totally ate more than Ian did. Whoops. I started asking him a lot of questions about his family situation and he breaks my heart and amazes me and I just think so highly of him. I was touched but felt a little guilty though he reassured me more than once not to. We packed everything up and walked back talking about meth and coke and what it does to you physically and mentally and Ryan was gone when we got back. Ian put music on again and we looked at a ton of his pictures on his computer and there were so many of the ex, which made me a little insecure but I need to get over it. We tried to decide what we were going to do and I don’t really remember but I think we seriously looked at shit online and stuff for a long time. We finally decided we definitely wanted donuts so we went to Voodoo Donut. I've never seen such a magnificent sight. Portland definitely got the point on that one. Plus they even have one that's called "cock and balls" because that's what it looks like. A huge one. I got a Portland Creme or something, which had chocolate custard in it. We took some pictures then went and stood next to the cool kids and ate our donuts. We decided to walk to the movie theater to see if anything good was playing and Superbad was starting in about 25 minutes so Ian bought tickets and we sat and chatted for a while outside the theatre then went in. We both checked our myspace on his phone before it started and I got to use it for the first time which made me nervous. The movie was good and I was cracking up through the whole thing. After it was over we walked back to the car and talked about how Ian needs a secretary and how I'm up for the job, but so are lots of other girls so I mock busted his balls. We made it back to his house and I was so tired I asked if I could curl up on the couch in a horizontal position and he said of course and set up the couch so that I could lay down and I started drifting in and out of sleep as we watched The Office. Eventually he climbed onto the couch with me and lay next to me. I would wake up when I'd feel him running his fingers along my cheek or in my hair and it made me smile inside. At some point he woke me up so we could move into his room and he got the covers all straightened out and we fell asleep all curled up together. It was probably around 2am.

Friday 9/21, Peggy let me leave an hour early so I headed home and showered, finished throwing shit in my bag, packed some snacks and headed out toward PDX. I called Susan on the way and we chatted and she told me how the traffic was and provided overall moral support for my drive down and weekend ahead, then Ian called while I was sitting in traffic in Federal Way to get an idea of where I was. I slowly made my way along and after Olympia it finally opened up and I was able to make up some time. I talked to Dad and Mama about going down to Portland and Mom called me out on being really into Ian, which I happily owned up to. Once I got into Portland I called Ian and told him where I was and that I would call him if I had any problems; luckily I didn’t and found his place very easily, though I had to circle the block once and ended up seeing Sos’ house. I was greeted with a huge hug and a kiss and he helped me get settled. We just hung at his place for the night (I got there at 9) listening to music and pointing out which albums in his library that I also have and he played a bunch of new stuff for me and would mock get mad when I wouldn’t recognize one that’s on one of the cds he gave me, but right in the middle of making out I did recognize one and exclaimed the fact. I made him play the one Electrelane song that’s real catchy and we both danced around listening to it. He showed me the coasters he made and he continues to amaze me with his talent and he expressed that his confidence level has gone up because of how much I love his stuff, which I think is adorable and good because it’s so true. He put The Office on and I sat on the couch while he folded laundry and we just chatted away forever. He showed me his photo album and I can’t believe how blonde he used to be and it was great getting to see a little piece of his history. We talked about family and myspace profiles and gave our respective cities points based on pros that came up in conversation. For example, +1 for Seattle because Arcade Fire would be playing there and not Portland, +1 point for Portland for producing better bands overall than Seattle. Eventually we made our way to bed, but he wanted to take a picture of the tree outside first because of how it was backlit, then we went to bed again, but didn’t. Until like 2:30. I slept like a rock.

Thursday 9/20, One of my fillings came out during lunch so I called my dentist and made an appointment. I went home and put some laundry away after work and talked to Susan and told her I wasn’t feeling up for Neighbours then headed out to my appointment. I was early but they got me right in and down to work. It took a little longer than they thought, but it went fine and I was out of there by 6:40 or so. I called Eliso when I got home because I had missed her call and told her I was going to eat a little dinner then head over to drop off the present that had come in the mail. When I got there we hung out and talked and they opened their presents and my mouth was still numb then the conversation turned to pot and alcohol and I couldn’t answer Eliso’s questions but Jake kind of identified. Earlier Sos told me that she thinks Ian really likes me and Jake yells in the background "God knows why!" and I was all "Heyy!" like, that's not very nice. Anyway, right before I left Eliso told me something very interesting and cute and made my night. I called Susan on my way home then had a little yogurt and peaches, packed a little then watched some tv. I was tired so I went to bed early.

Wednesday 9/19, I propositioned Ian about going down over the weekend to visit and he was fairly enthusiastic so I took it as a good sign and he ended up calling me while I was at lunch and we planned a little further. I went on a walk when I got home then talked to Susan on the phone about O, Moppet, Ian and big talkers. I ate some dinner and watched tv while taking care of some laundry in between commercials. Chrystol called around 10ish and we talked until almost 11 about her and S, relationships, the bbq on Sat., Ian, K and R and driving long distances to see someone you’re dating. I showered and went to bed.

Tuesday 9/18, I took a walk after work and it was sunny when I left but by the middle of my walk it was pouring. I was drenched which got me to hustle my ass and made it back in record time. I was freezing by the time I got home so I curled up on my bed with a blanket and talked to Susan on the phone. I went through and was reading a bunch of my and Ian’s correspondence and ended up eating a late dinner around 8. I got a stress text from Ian so I decided to call him and give him a pep talk, except he didn’t answer so I left a giggly voice mail instead. He called back within minutes and we chatted for about 20 minutes which I assume is huge in Ian-World. It was wonderful to hear his voice. I updated my blog after that and ended up watching Beauty and the Geek and got totally hooked. Showered and went to bed a little after 11.

Monday 9/17, I was so tired after work that I ate some dinner then fell asleep while watching Jeopardy. I woke up about an hour later and read a Susan hand me down magazine. Ian ended up requesting that I get on messenger so we could talk. We talked for quite a while and he said some really funny stuff but was also working on a project so it was intermittent toward the end. I continued to update my blog while he did that but eventually got tired so I bid him good night and signed off. Showered, read some more and cut out pictures (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and went to bed.

Sunday 9/16, I woke up when Dad called at 9:30 and kind of laid there trying to go back to sleep but eventually got up and fed J, called Susan about tv plans and got some water then climbed back in and roused Ian a little bit. I got up and showered and he played on the computer then it was his turn while we listened to Electrelane and I straightened my hair with Ian's encouragement. We were finally ready to roll out a little before noon and headed up to Totem Lake to pick up some tvs and shiz from Ka'ai's that he was generously donating to my "lack of tvs" fund. We were there for a little bit then took off for Seattle. Eliso didn't want to come to lunch so it was just the two of us and I figured I would take him to the sandwich shop Eric took me to last summer and then to Ok Ok. It was raining and shitty so we went to Highlife instead because I knew there would be room for us and we wouldn't have to eat outside. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his "nook" while we were walking and got all turned on when I said that so I thought that was adorable. We didn't have to wait long for a table and Bun was working the bar so I told him the "Don't you want me baby" story involving Susan and he was cracking up. We both got breakfast fare even though it was like 1:30. I got the Fancy French Toast and he got one of the Argentinean omelets. We talked about coffee and he said he's fascinated by some aspects of me, then sex and experience then family and all the "Karas" he knows. Walked back to the car and he tried to veer me into puddles but kept me dry by wrapping his arms around me and putting his head over mine. Skipped Ok Ok in order to return home to burn cds and mess around before he had to leave. We jabbered all the way home and I told him what Mom had asked about dinner then he told me his Dad told him to bring me to the next family thing so I couldn't stop smiling after that. Cute! He talks about me to his family, which I find reassuring because I can't stop talking about him to my family. So yeah. When we got back I started burning a couple cds for him and we talked and made out then they were done so we got down to business. I finally fulfilled my disclaimer and he said I didn't have anything to be worried about then, yeah, and ouch, and forever. We showered quickly, got dressed, made out a little more, looked for his underwear forever and couldn't find them then he packed up his stuff and I packed up a bag of food for him and walked him down to his car. We sat out there talking and laughing and kissing for a while. I took his garbage for him and we talked briefly about the next time we would see each other and it's not ideal so we'll see what happens. He whistled at me from his car and I told him I LOVE "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" and he said he did too then blew me a kiss. I went back upstairs and wanted to fall asleep but knew I had to leave in an hour to go to Mom's for dinner. I made my bed (found his manties), looked at stuff online and watched some tv I think then left to go pick Grandma up. Dinner was ready right when we got there and it was SO GOOD. I ate a ton and when Grandma commented on how much Mom gave me Mom was like "Well I know she burnt a lot of calories this weekend" and I sat there with my jaw on the table and she goes "You know, with all the running around I'm sure you did" with a smirk. I was like "No comment" and started in on my chicken and stuffing. Mom had made cookies so it wasn't as special that I brought some with me, but Grandma requested one of mine so that made me feel good. They asked me a lot of questions about Ian so I got to talk about him through dinner and afterward and they had some interesting things to say about the situation and I agreed. Grandma was ready to go home and to bed so I took her back and called Dad on the way home. We chatted for a bit and he'll be back next week so that will be fun and he's excited to see how everything looks. I uploaded pictures then called Susan and talked to her for a while about the weekend and boys and pressure and all that then updated the blog, traded texts with Ian who I continue to absolutely adore and went to bed by 11.

Saturday 9/15, I woke up when Sean called then hung up. It was almost 10 I’m going to guess, and we snuggled and talked and rolled around on each other then eventually got up. He showered and I started the waffles which were his preference. He came down as I was talking to Susan, who had said the next day would be better for picking up the tvs then we discussed bbq plans for later that day. I showered then asked him if he wanted to go to Silver Platters since I had a gift certificate from Zach and hadn’t had a chance to use it yet. We drove up there and as we were parking and walking up he asked me if I had anything in mind so I told him Electrelane, Fujiya and Miyagi, Peter, Bjorn and John and Band of Horses. He approved of these choices as he held the door for me and we walked into Starbucks. I got his coffee for him since I had a gift card then he kissed me and hoped I didn’t mind the PDA and I told him of course I didn’t. It was adorable! We headed over to SP and kind of split up to look at our own stuff. I called Kassie to ask about some cds but she was acting really weird so I was worried but she promised she was ok and would call me when she could to ease my worries. I told Ian about it, and I quickly forgot as he found a used PB&J cd and also recommended My Morning Jacket. So I got 5 new cds and felt pretty good about all of them. We put F&M on in the car and Ian was astonished he hadn’t heard it before and asked me if he could burn it then excitedly pointed out that it was like an episode of School House Rock, what with all the learning and such. We headed home and I talked to Susan on the way and we made plans to meet up then I called Kay-See and she wasn’t sure how long she would be able to stay but said she’d be there. Then I called Chrystol to invite her as I sat in the living room with Ian, and she said she might come but there was a brat fest in Wallingford so her and Schuyler were going to that. We went upstairs and started looking at stuff online and messing around then Susan came over and we hung for a few minutes then rolled out to Albertsons. Kay-See called and said she would meet us at the store so she could pick up some stuff too. So the three of us wandered around the store and Sos finally called me back as we were in the meat section deciding on hot dogs (Hebrew National AND some chicken and apples dogs) and said she would try to be there by 5…it was 3:15! I told her to hurry her ass up. Kay-See showed up and we all continued to wander around the store and mostly Ian and I flirted and were all touchy feely. After the three of us girls checked out we were standing waiting for him and Kay-See was like, “Oh, I can tell he’s got a nice back all the way from here” and I was like “DON’T GET ME STARTED!” because he does. It’s the most beautiful back I’ve had the pleasure to know. Mmmm. So sexy. Anyway, we rolled out and Susan opted to ride with K in order to apparently give us our alone time. When we got there we took everything upstairs and started snacking, Ian and I chatted for a few minutes on the deck and he asked if the stream was sewage (har har) then we made our way out to the deck and eventually to the dock. First it was just Ian and me and we just talked and stuff then the girls met us out there and we put our feet in and played footsie in the water, but only after I made Ian remove the spiders and spider webs first. Eliso showed up and that was fun, what with the four of us girls and Ian, and once again I was complimented on my shoes and it almost killed Ian. We all thought he was just jealous and wanted someone to comment on how nice his shoes were. I got blankets and we all sat out there talking and having so much fun…the night seemed to fly by. Everyone got the chairs onto the deck in preparation to start grilling. Jake and Ryan had showed up by this point and we got everything going but had no ketchup and mustard so K and I ran to 7-11 and Ian confirmed what I wanted before I left and we made googly eyes at each other then K and I took off. When we got back it was time to eat and thank goodness Ryan had manned the grill because no one else was volunteering and I sure as hell didn’t know how to get the party started. Everyone was talking, with the boys discussing sports and the girls talking about, well, who the hell can remember? I was sitting next to Ian and we were whatever, being all smitten with each other when we started wondering where Jake had gone and we started joking that he was inside taking all their stuff and was going to rush out any minute with his pants stuffed and yelling at Sos that it was time to go and taking off. We were laughing so hard, then Ian looked over and he was sitting at the table totally within ear shot. Fuuuuck! So then we start laughing hysterically, like neither of us could breathe and we hoped he didn’t hear. We all started packing and cleaning up and all rolled out by about 9. We talked and laughed all the way home with the spider incident being the hottest topic and Susan and I ranting about what it means to say no or to restrain someone. This would lead to a bit of a problem later on in the night. When we got back Susan took off then Ian and I got into our pjs and put on Happy Endings but it wasn’t on for long before we were making out like it was our job. Things went well for me but then Ian went to sleep so I finished the movie. Something seemed wrong so I kept asking him and he denied and wanted to go to bed after some SNL, so I turned out the light and laid there retracing my steps from earlier but couldn’t pinpoint anything. Finally he opened up and told me what was wrong, then I told him some of my stuff and eventually we were talking about exes and relationships and insecurities and STDs and partners and all sorts of other stories. The drama started at 12:30 and we finally shut each other up around 3:30 and went to sleep.

Friday 9/14, I rushed home from work in order to get everything situated before Ian showed up and managed to get quite a bit done even by the time he called to say he was in Chehalis. So I put the finishing touches on everything, hopped in the shower, got all cute then put on an apron and got rollin on some cookies. I called Susan because it appeared that LPC broke up with his gf and I was feeling insanely smug. Mwahaha. Susan also found this to be hilarious but then Ian beeped in and said he was just pulling in so I hung up and ran down. I was greeted with a huge hug and a wonderful kiss then we went upstairs where I kept on with the cookies. We chatted and he grabbed some couch while I shuffled cookie sheets and alternated between sitting and flirting with him in the living room and cleaning up the kitchen. Kassie called to ask if I’d told Ian about Will’s company and the offer and I said no not yet, so then Ian was like “What’s that about” so I was like “Well, um, I…uh, so my sister knows this guy…” blah blah blah because I didn’t want him to think I was crazy and that I was planning for him to move up here or something, but he was surprisingly like, “Do they have a site? Let’s go look at it!” so we went up to my room and did and I think he was impressed but also observed that they looked somewhat corporate. We continued to look at pictures and other things online then eventually rolled out of the house, and Eric texted right as we were packing up and the correspondence went like this:

Him: Are we gonna do lunch soon?
Me: You tell me.
Him: I will.
Him: :)

I didn't even care. I just didn't want Ian to start asking questions and I was trying to ignore the second two that came in. We headed to Jules Maes Saloon down in Georgetown, to see Sean play, with the assistance of Ian’s iphone providing directions. He started feeling sick all of a sudden just as we were arriving, which freaked me out a little but we kept on and went in. We went to the back right away where Tennis Pro was warming up, waved to Sean then noticed Tiffany was sitting there so I went over to say hi and Ian went to get a seltzer. She asked if he was my bf, I said no, but that we were seeing each other and I really liked him and she said he was cute and that she didn’t consider the fact that he lived in PDX a problem. He came back in and we did introductions and she said she was the drummer’s wife and he told me later he almost said, “You mean the bassist?” because he had just assumed Sean was gay because he cut my hair. No no no. So I set him straight and we had a good laugh. He’s like, “I’m sure the confusion on my face was very obvious.” We went out and sat at a booth until they started and just chatted, but I felt really bad because he didn’t feel good and we were just kind of making small talk in between me asking him if he was ok and telling him we could leave if he wanted. Sean came by a couple times to talk to us and told us a story about some girl in a pink shirt that gave them a bad review and posted a pic of Sean looking like the Michelin Man. We cracked up at this story. Soon it was time for them to go on so we all headed to the back, they tried out the new snare and we heard the long version of the story at our table which painted a funny visual. They played a good set but it was hard to hear the words, though I sang along anyway. I had told Ian their lyrics are really funny so it kind of sucked that you couldn’t tell what was being said, but he said he liked it anyway so that was good. We kind of shimmied next to each other and held hands and he felt well enough for a drink so he had one of those. There were all these “zany” guys walking around in red outfits which Ian thought was over the top and not funny. Or quirky. Or Corky for that matter. I already fit that bill. After the show we talked to Sean for a minute, said bye and he told me to give Kassie a kiss (with tongue) and we walked back to the car. We got a little turned around going home but eventually got on the right track and made a pit stop at QFC in Factoria to get him a toothbrush. He almost got the Hello Kitty one and had me cracking up, especially when I exclaimed “Mouthwash!” and he’s like “Ok, I’ll take the hint” like he had bad breath or something but really I was just excited I’d found where the oral hygiene section was. We checked out and continued laughing and flirting all the way to the car and talked about the dirty things we would carve in our respective pumpkins. His would look like this: :o. Ahahahhaaa, I’m hilarious. We went home and put our pjs on and he borrowed the Halloween ones this time. He noticed a blemish on my back and asked if he could get it and I was very excited when he declared himself a picker. So we picked at each other’s backs and I was thrilled that it doesn’t gross him out. We started messing around and listening to the cds he’d brought (Ian + Karrah = :) J volumes 1, 2 and 3). I announced my disclaimer and he said not to worry about it and we talked at length about that kind of stuff and other stuff in between steamy make-outs until about 3:30 then went to sleep.

Thursday 9/13, I kept moving on stuff after work and knocked some major items off my list. Mom snuck up on me while I was vacuuming the second bedroom and scared the shit out of me. She cackled for a long time. Kassie called and I talked to her for quite a while about Will's company and her house and stuff then Mom was getting jealous that she was left out so I hung up. I ate some dinner then it was up to my room to hang the mirror behind my bed. We had to reposition the hook once but it looked good once we got it up there. Mom took off and I continued to bust ass. I got almost everything done before stopping to get ready for dancing. I rolled out right around 10:40 and met Susan up at our usual spot with some questionable gentlemen loitering around on the steps of the church. One of them was nice and tried to help me park. They started whistling and stuff at us as we were walking away and we made our way up to the club. We hit the floor because Hungry Like the Wolf was playing and we were able to break from the crowd, so that felt good. We went upstairs when a bad song came on and we weren’t up there too long before another good one came on so it was back downstairs and onto the floor. The night is kind of a blur, though I know it was the funnest night we’ve had there in a while. Moppet showed up even though last week he said he wasn’t going to and he had his arms kind of around Syphilis so that made us wonder…then I felt someone grab my butt, but the guy who would have done it wasn’t even looking at me so I said to Susan “I think that guy just grabbed my butt or else I hallucinated it” and I felt it again so this guy totally had. He was way gay but really fun and mock grabbed my boobs next but I wagged my finger at him and was like “No no no” so he behaved himself. Moppet came over and started dancing with us and we talked a little but he had ear plugs in so it wasn’t entirely conducive to having a conversation. He disappeared at some point then Teal and a friend showed up and the gay guy mock pinched her ass and was like asking for approval from me to do it so I did it and then he pointed at me like I had wanted him to do it, so I tried to deflect but it didn’t work. Susan and I went outside for some fresh air and the gay guy (Susan’s bf by this point as he had been humping her around the dance floor) told me some girl had asked if I was gay or straight and he said he didn’t know, so I confirmed straight. Moppet showed back up so we started talking outside and it turns out we had some things in common so that was kind of cool, but at the same time I didn’t want to lead him on or get attached since he’s moving to LA in 2 weeks and I’m seeing Ian, who I like a LOT. He had a theory about people who go out and Susan and I couldn’t decide if we agreed with it or not. Then Teal and friend came out so they started chatting with Susan and I continued with M and was actually having fun, then some guy came by with roses trying to sell them but no one was biting. Susan’s new gay bf told me it was Teal’s friend who asked if I was gay or straight so now I knew she thought that I had told him to pinch her butt…but then later on she would like touch me on my side as she was walking by so that confused me a bit. We all ended up going back inside to dance and Moppet stayed over by us for quite a while and some guy wanted to dance with Teal after he almost credit carded him, but he told him he didn’t want to because he was dancing with the three hottest girls and hottest guy in the club. Aww, Teal! He’s such a sweetheart. Moppet took off but Susan predicted he’d be back and he eventually was! She’s onto him. I can’t really remember what else happened, but it was tons of fun and I’m pretty sure there was a three-way involving Susan, her new gay bf and Teal’s friend. We decided to go and said bye to Moppet and got a hug, found out he was on myspace so I vowed to find him, then on the way out we said bye to Teal and I got a kiss on the cheek then almost ran Susan over in my state of bliss. We walked back to the cars, took off and drove home.

Wednesday 9/12, I did a lot of stuff after work, like painting and cleaning, especially the bathroom which took me FOREVER. Later that evening I was talking to Chrystol and we were going through Ian's profile together and all the pictures when I got a text and I figured it was from Susan because of her date thing, but didn't check it. After I got off the phone I checked it and it had been Ian who had gone to a show and watched his ex dry hump and make out with some guy and he was expressing a non-fondness for that situation. I hopped in the shower and was formulating my response when my phone started ringing and this time I knew it HAD to be Susan because it was about the time I can imagine a date would be ending. Nope, it was Ian. He never calls, so I hurriedly called him back and we ended up talking for quite a while and he was a little drunk so it was kind of cute. We discussed prank vs crank and sherbet vs sherbert and flirted and told each other how excited we were to see the other. So it was good. Very good. I went to bed not too much later.

Tuesday 9/11, I got waxed on my lunch break, ouch. I painted the cap and vacuumed the stairs when I got home then Sos called to tell me she was ready for me so I took off with a pit stop to the pet store for food and litter. When I got over to their house I sat on the couch with Sos and we started chatting about insurance, her advisory class and the upcoming sex ed course she has to teach, my wax job, Ian (of course) and this weekend. Jake went and picked up the pizzas and we chowed down and continued talking insurance. I think I helped them out so that felt good and now I need to take them to dinner because they just bought dinner for me plus Eliso took me to the airport, so yeah, I need to get on that. I took off at 9 and when I got home Ian had sent me a message that said to get online so I did and we had a fairly long chat and I saved the convo because there was some insanely cute stuff in there. Like what his sister said after they dropped me off. Sighhhh. After signing off I showered and got ready for bed. Updated this and went to bed.

Monday 9/10, Susan met me at home after work and we talked while I cleaned and cleared shit and painted. I got quite a bit done considering I was supposed to be entertaining and trying not to bore her to death. We both had our dinners and spied on the neighbor ladies who were outside talking FOREVER. After she headed home I watched some reality show where they walk to DC to lose weight then checked myspace and Ian had requested I get on messenger so he could flirt with me. So I did but he was away, so I showered and when I emerged he was back on and we started chatting. He was fairly distracted so the convo wasn’t overwhelmingly stimulating but we had a few back and forths that made me laugh, like the sucking part or that he never fails to call me awkward (or perhaps it’s always just the situations). We chatted until about 11:30 then I told him I needed to get to bed so we disconnected and I went to sleep.

Sunday 9/9, I woke up a little after 8 but didn’t want to get up right away so I ate cereal in bed and watched an episode of OC then forced myself to get going. I went to BB&B for some items and Lowe’s for a couple things then home where I finished taping off the 2nd bath and did a first coat. I went and did some other chores and came back and did a second coat but forgot to do around the mirror. I moved on and watched some episodes of OC intermittently. Eventually I showered, got ready and hit the road to Mom’s house for Sunday night dinner. I talked to Dad and Mom on the phone about my bathrooms and job / house situation and they’ve both got my back. Mom and I discussed more house plans over dinner and we all did best and worst then had some of the cookies I brought over. I left to head over to Kay-See’s because she had purchased tickets to the Muse show and we were meeting at her place. We sat and chatted for a few minutes while she got ready and we talked story about boys and such then headed on our way. We found great parking and walked over talking about some VERY interesting topics. We passed a bar with some guys outside and one of them said hi, so I enthusiastically said hello back then he yelled “You have a nice ass” and I told him he had to specify and he said the one on the left then quickly added “and the one on the right” good boy. I smiled and waved and we kept right on. The opening band was playing but there were so many hot guys we decided to just walk around and stand there checking them out and picking out our bfs instead of going in. We chit chatted all through the intermission or whatever and got duped into playing some “High Five” game that wasn’t really a game at all, then we picked up K’s bf, plaid shirt, hat, watching football. No beard, because that would make him a logger, apparently. We finally went in and found a good spot and ended up finding plaid shirt again and seeing a second white coat guy up in the bleachers. K wanted to sit on his lap. Muse finally came out and they played a fantastic show per usual. The cutest part was during Soldier’s Poem when Dominic told everyone to get out their cell phones, like lighters, and it was so beautiful and K said she felt like she should be dancing with someone. Matt is so hot I kept having to remind K that I’ve had dibs on him FOR YEARS and that she could have Chris, who is also very hot. Anyway, it was a fabulous and we both almost orgasm-d every time he got behind that piano. No, seriously. We had a lot of fun and even spotted a “Seattle Patrick” who smiled at K right as we were leaving. We watched plaid shirt through the whole thing and he, like, didn’t move at all to the music or anything and seemed to be totally disinterested. Weeirrd. We left talking about how great a show it was and how we were glad we’d gone and still shocked by the number of hot guys. It must have been 80% guys and AT LEAST 50% of those were hot, so yeah, there was some eye candy for sure. We walked back to the car jabbering on then K dropped me at my car and I drove home and went to bed.

Saturday 9/8, I woke up at 8 and went for my short walk, except I ran most of it and couldn’t believe how well I did. I was exhausted but felt great. I got back down to business and Mom showed up a little late but soon we were on the road. We hit Costco first but didn’t find anything so then we went to Linens and Things and hit the mother load. We picked out mirrors, curtains and a curtain rod, towels and bathmats. We took everything home and tried it all out, decided yay on some of it and took the rest of it back to try again. We picked up more mirrors, bathmats and a shorter curtain rod. We went to PCC for some lunch fare and I got a delicious mozzarella, tomato and basil on foccacia sandwich and we wolfed when we got home. We then got down to business by taking tape off, reorganizing my closet and familiarizing ourselves with the curtain rod instructions. Mom took off and left me to continue on my quest of cleanliness and organization and home improvement. Her and Dad were back a little after 5 to help me get everything up. We got two mirrors hung, toilet paper holder mounted, light switch changed out, curtain rod and curtains hung and the bathmats all washed and situated. Dad took off and Mom stuck around to continue helping me get stuff done but eventually took off about an hour later. I made some dinner and continued knocking stuff out. Though I wasn’t getting as much done as I thought I would. I ended up going to bed by about 10:30 because I was exhausted.

Friday 9/7, I got down to business after work and taped off my bathroom and put a coat of paint on all the trim. I went to Home Depot to return some stuff and picked up some other things and did another coat of paint when I got there. I called Mom to see if she wanted to come over the next day to help me pick out some mirrors so we set a time of 9:45. I think I went to bed a little after midnight.

Thursday 9/6, I stopped at BB&B after work and picked up a few items that will make my life more enjoyable. Most importantly a toilet paper holder. I began taping and cleaning more in the bathroom. I touched up with Twig Basket on a few walls and felt good that at least that was done. I did more laundry and put some things away and my room is starting to look a little tiny bit better. Ian called (!) while he was at a show and wondered aloud why he would have done that when he knew he wouldn't be able to hear me. It still made my day and I couldn't stop smiling. He said he'd call me the next day, but just the fact that he called thrilled me. I stayed busy until about 8:30 then Susan called and I wasn't very productive while chatting, finished up my taping then hopped in the shower, quickly got ready and hit the road. I called Kay-See as I was getting off the freeway and she ran out minutes later and hilariously checked out a guy going into her building. Good girl! She looked so cute then told me I looked cute, so that made her even cuter! We drove over and parked and since Susan had told me her and Tommy (?) beat us there she was already in. We went in and were immediately visually flooded with hot boys. Gay, straight, you name it. They were hot and they were there to DANCE. We walked around the side of the floor to try and spot Susan but instead found Tye so I got a hug and he told me that the last time he'd seen her she was in the back bar. We decided to go upstairs to scope it out from up there and see if we could see her. We didn't, but we did spot some hilarity and hotness on the floor. We went back down after a few minutes and I spotted two tattoo-d boys and K insisted on walking by them, so we did, then I saw Moppet and kind of waved but he didn't wave back and looked at me confusedly, so I thought maybe it wasn't him. Or maybe he was just having a bad night. We continued to wait for a good song and finally one came on so we hit the floor right by K's adorable bfs. They were so hot in their matching button up white shirts, black vests, black jeans and ties. There was this most likely straight guy dancing by us and all he kept doing was thrusting his pelvis and we would take turns alerting each other to his newest hilarious move and were in stitches all night. Susan sprang up and so we all danced as a group, though it wasn’t really Tommy’s scene so he took off not too much later. Susan said she also saw Moppet and that he looked very confused or that he was having a terrible night. Syphilis was in jeans, shock of shocks! And we spotted Moppet again and confirmed it was indeed him. We watched ass crack and Prince dance on the stage then there was an awful drag show that terrified all of us. I seriously don’t know if it was a man trying to be a woman or a woman trying to be a man trying to be a woman. Yikes. We danced a ton more by that pelvic thrusting guy and laughed continually until he finally came over and asked us if we were straight and after confirming he asked us to come over and dance with him and I was like (really skeptically) “I don’t know…” and he was like “Come on!” and like sad that I didn’t instantly agree to dance in his thrusting presence. He said he’s been going there for 3 years and I was like “I don’t think so, I’ve been coming here for 3 years and I’ve never seen your ass” so he said he just moved back from CO and pulled out his license as proof and it turns out his name is Maximilian which I thought was somewhat hilarious, because he totally didn’t look like one. He was nice and I chatted with him for a few minutes and he got all mock distraught when I looked at him skeptically when he said he was straight. Moppet came down and started chatting with us and M and friends took off, so I thanked Moppet but he said he knew I was having a good time with those guys. Which I kind of was. He told me he’s moving to LA and I told him I saw him earlier but that he looked confused and he said he couldn’t figure out if it was me or not. Then he said he forgot my name and I told him likewise so we reintroduced ourselves and he claimed to be really great with faces and that if he saw me 20 years from now he’d recognize me and I was like “Kind of like how you recognized me earlier?” and he was like “Shut up” so we laughed about that. Trent Von was playing some bad songs and finally Susan had had enough so she took off after a Stray Cats song and K and I continued dancing by Moppet but only for about 2 more songs. I said bye to Moppet because I might not see him again and he gave me his card and did like a typing motion with his hands indicating that I should email him if I felt so inclined. I might. Who knows. We got K’s coat and of course Von Trap decides to play a good song, but we skipped out anyway, admiring Eric the bouncer. Yummy. We walked to the car and right as I was talking about Ian as we pulled up to her place, he f-ing called! So she jumped out and I excitedly answered and he asked what was going on and why I was so giggly and I told him K just got out of the car and he asked if I’d pushed her and when I said yes, he said it was “so gangster” so that was funny. We talked about how he’d seen the Gingerbread Patriots and I was so jealous because I love them and he told me about some of the other bands he was seeing later then I told him about dancing and we hung up a few minutes later after chatting a little. I was so excited and giddy that I almost wrote him another message on myspace, but I didn’t. I got ready for bed and hit the hay by about 1:30.

Wednesday 9/5, I went home after work and started working on taping off and continuing to clean and do laundry and stuff. I messaged a bit with Ian back and forth then took off for Mom's to celebrate Jake's birthday. We went to what used to be Sea Star and had a ton of delicious dishes. The conversation quickly turned to Ian and Jake said that he "better protect his investment" with a totally obvious double eyebrow raise. I sat there trying not to laugh then he went on to say since Ian wants kids that he might try "The Ole 1-2" to try and get me pregnant. Like he could accomplish this without me knowing or something. Mom needs to have "The Talk" with him real bad. So, needless to say, dinner was interesting and dare I say? fun. Even Grandma was amused by the conversation. I ate three fortune cookies but my original one said "You will be successful in romance" so that was exciting. We headed over to Mom's where she had prepared the creamiest fudge I've ever had. It was also very rich and I couldn't even finish my piece. I didn't hang there too long before packing Grandma up and taking her home. Back at the ranch I continued to work on tasks around the house and unpacking and such. I made it into bed by 11, sent Ian one more message, read a chapter of my book and went to sleep.

Tuesday 9/4, The guys were working at my house when I got home and we went over a few things then I retired to the downstairs to look at pictures and upload them to myspace. I called Kassie because one of the pictures of her in the water was totally cracking me up. Around 6:30 I took off for my hair appointment. I parked in my usual spot when I go to Kay-See's because the salon is fairly close to her place of residence. I walked down and Sean allowed me to pass the velvet rope and was just finishing up with a client. I got a nice big hug and we briefly discussed bangs then he went in for it and started cutting. He didn't know where he was going but he was just going to start. We talked astrology, marriage, crotch rockets, real estate and needing a garage and 2 bedroom, Ian, Kassie and of course hair. After he got the bulk of it done he put me in the hair washing chair and I looked up at all these bottles of shampoo and conditioner nozzles staring down at me and told him it would be interesting to see if he pumped one of them if it would hit my head or not. So he's like "Ready?" and I closed my eyes and mouth real tight and waited. I felt a very suspicious, yet familiar, substance hit the left part of my head and instantly started laughing. Good shot Sean! Then I said there better not be a video of it on youtube circulating by the next day and he said it would be posted on "seansapt.com" and that the back story would be that I had just arrived from Holland and needed a place to stay and that was my "rent". Seeing this bit of white viscous substance fly from the side of the frame onto my head could definitely pass for xxx material. He finished styling and we talked hair products and a few other things and he showed me his bike then Kay-See called so I got a good bye hug and hit the bricks. I was to her house within minutes and entered her apartment smelling all sorts of wonderful smells which included onions, apples, pork chops, rice and zucchini. YUM! We chatted while she finished dinner then we sat down and continued gossiping about boys, Portland, Vancouver and brokers. After feeding me an ice cream drumstick K had places to be and people to see and I had more work at my house so I hit the road. I did quite a bit of cleaning when I got home. I washed the sink and toilet, vanity, vacuumed as much as I could and left the rest for the next day.

Monday 9/3, I got up a little after 9 and went downstairs to do some work but ended up getting distracted multiple times. I resigned to getting ready for the day and all the other girls got up fairly quickly after me in preparation to go to Uncle Dick's and to celebrate Uncle Ron's b-day at Cactus Jacks. We took off and said bye to Jodi who would not be joining in, and went to Uncle Dick's. We all ate a bunch of bars and watched OC and struggled with Kasey to turn the sound off on the commercials. Danny, Kelly and Jackson showed up and I gave him the picture I had cut out from St. Martin and he was thrilled to put it in his wallet. Now he'll know who his cousin Big Sexy Rhonda is. Or his cousin Miranda or Robot. Whatever. We all packed up and caravanned to Stewart, arriving at Cactus Jacks. Some guys made lewd comments as Mom walked by and Kassie goes "I heard that, watch it, that's my mother" and they were all "Chill out" and Kassie's like "Don't start with me, just drop it" and we walked in. I told Dad Kassie just defended Mom's honor. I ordered a hot dog but after looking at them decided I didn't want one after all, but since they were only 25 cents I didn't feel too bad about it. I ate some of Kassie's onion rings and pizza and my own fries and one of Kasey's toasts so I had PLENTY. Dan and Kel were at our end and we talked about how scary Danny is and I wouldn't want to be any boy that Danielle brings home, or even a girlfriend of Beau and Jackson. I'M not scared of him, but he can be as intimidating as fuck, especially with that glass eye. Speaking of, Kassie got a hilarious picture where he made his other eye all wonky so he looks like a crazy person. They want to come out to Seattle next year and I told them FABULOUS and that they should aim for the end of July so they can attend the family reunion since Dick and Roxy may come out too. How fun would that be? I think Clint, Jodi and the kids may come as well. It would be SO FUN. Plus Dan and Kelly could stay with me and go into the city and stuff so it would work out well. All the kids, sans Alishia, walked over to the cemetery to see Grandma and Grandpa and though it took us a while to find them, we did and sat talking to them for a while, then went off to find other relatives and interesting names. Luckily it's a tiny cemetery so there's not many to go through. Aubrie found a Harry Potter name. The rest of the fam showed up and it was so bright and hot / muggy that taking pictures and walking around started to feel taxing. Then Jackson was bitten by some black mystery bug and started screaming at the top of his lungs and asked if he was going to die. We walked over to the farm and talked and I took pictures with some of the baby cows and one was so hungry he was trying to suckle my fingers and it made me sad. I told Uncle Ron when we got back over that they were hungry and he was like "ehh" with a shrug. I know they'll get fed in an hour Uncle Ron but do it NOW, that baby is STARVING! They are so cute. We talked about cats and dead calves and other things then decided it was time to go. We all walked back and said our goodbyes and hit the road to Minneapolis while watching Psych or something in the car. Mom and I were in the very back and cracking up. We were staying at Sofitel and I was so impressed and couldn't believe Dad would book at a French hotel, but they apparently didn't know, and they had the best deal. We all ogled the door guy then unloaded and headed up to our rooms. It was so nice, I was very impressed. Our window looked into the inside of the hotel and since they were tinted the girls thought that no one could see in, but they were wrong as we would find out later. Kassie had her tits on the glass and Aubrie had her butt and we all cracked up, until Mom said you could see in. Then we made Kassie confirm and you totally could, though it was obscured a bit by the darkened tint. Oh well. Dad gave us some money for dinner and I asked to borrow some $$ to finish my bathrooms then we hit the road to the Mall of America. We went to H&M first and stayed in there for a while, then to Nordstrom Rack for me for some undies while everyone else did their own thing. I met up with Aubrie and we headed to Nordstrom to find Kassie who had a few items for me to try on. I also tried a bunch of jeans on and ended up getting some Citizens in capri form then we went downstairs and I got the cutest red flats that look fantastic with the Citizens. Kassie got some Michael Kors slippers for Grand Cayman that I'm totally envious of. We called the other girls and told them to meet us at the smoothie place so Aubs and I could get what Kassie had gotten, and she got another one, then Alishia and Kassie got into a heated discussion and Alishia stormed off to the car. Kassie wanted time to talk to her so Aubs and I sat back and talked FOREVER and eventually moved to a place we could sit at while they hashed everything. Finally we were underway to the hotel with everyone feeling better about everything. Back at our room I stripped down and we talked pubic hair shapes and Kassie had a good suggestion for me then I hopped in the shower and after tried my new stuff on and got the thumbs up from Kassie. I climbed into bed but we all continued talking and I was blogging to try and catch up. Went to bed because we had to get up at 5am.

Sunday 9/2, Got up at 9 and worked on census until 9:45 then roused Aubrie and started getting ready and told Alishia we wanted to leaving in 45 minutes and she got pissed because she thought I said 5 minutes. We rolled out by about 11, with a stop at Econo Foods for bread and eggs then arrived at Uncle Dick and Roxy’s. We yelled at Dad for not answering his phone then he got busy on the French Toast while Uncle Dick got the bacon cooking. I got one of the first pieces but it had a bug on it, yuck! Luckily Kassie saw it and got it off for me then dug out that part of my piece. We hung out for a while and Kassie picked at my face and eyebrows then everyone loaded onto the boat. It was way hotter and we ended up parking out in the middle and all grabbing inner tubes and life jackets and just jumping into the water and floating around. I saw some nasty stick bugs floating around Kassie as we were talking about my new wardrobe then Aubrie jumped in and joined our circle, and lastly Kasey. So we’re all floating and talking and having fun when Aubs is like “Hey, there’s a bug on your butt!” and I look and it’s one of the stick bugs so naturally I start flailing around like a seal on my innertube all the while trying to submerge my ass to get the damn thing off. Everyone just sat there and laughed which I thought was not so nice. We drifted quite far from the boat so we all started paddling back and boarded. We went back to the house where we loaded up on snacks and went back out where Kassie and Kasey fell asleep and Aubrie and I rode on the back and just talked and laughed with Uncle Larry and Rosemary. We went and parked in the shallow spot again and I got in the water and looked for clams with Dylan. We set off once again and Kassie eventually came back and joined us then we ran into some people Uncle Dick knew who knew Dad too then went home. I checked myspace when we got back then everyone got ready and we went to the Legion in Litchfield for dinner. The food was about as good as can be expected but it was fun and a nice change to talk with Jodie. Four of us girls decided to go on a walk around town, which was dead, and we ended up getting honked and hollered at. We went to the park for a few minutes then took off for Dick’s again. We went through a bunch of my flickr pictures so Kassie could update her profile which ended up taking a long time while everyone else was down by the campfire. I then lathered her up with after sun gel because she was fairly burned and I put a little because my face looked a little pink and we eventually made it down to the fire. We talked about Dad’s backfires and Europe and the Caribbean then decided to pack it up and head home. The moon was big and yellow and beautiful so I texted Ian to look at it because I was thinking of him. He texted back and made me smile all the way back to Clint's. Kasey and I bunked together and we were in bed and ready to sleep by 12:30.

Saturday 9/1, I woke up at 8:45 but fell back asleep then officially got up at 9:50, woke Aubrie up and headed downstairs. I enjoyed a cinnamon roll in Dylan’s presence and Aubrie joined us shortly after I started. Casey made her way down and I eventually yelled up to Kassie who came down to talk and socialize too. We all took our time getting ready and eventually got going over to Uncle Dick’s where the rents and all the rest of the kin were hanging out. We did greetings and hugged and started talking and such and the eating started immediately. Danny was being gross and grabbed Kassie’s ass and wouldn’t stop sticking his tongue out at her suggestively so she told Dad. Then he was all upset when we started talking about which cousin we’d each hook up with because none of us were picking him. It was fairly hilarious. Beau and Danielle were at the table with us and we all chatted and traded stories and called Danny an incestual pedophile and he got really grossed out. It was time to go out on Uncle Dick’s pontoon boat. Kelly and Mark showed up on their motorcycle and Kelly’s boobs looked fantastic and none of us could stop staring at them. Alishia was like “I feel like a pervy 13 year old boy”. A large group of us went out on the boat and Beau took the jet ski and looked totally hot. I got some pictures. We cruised around and worked on our tans then went over to this one spot where Dylan and Jackson hopped out and started finding clams and we took hilarious pictures of Kassie and Aubrie pretending they were topless. We went back and ate burgers and hot dogs and all sorts of other snacks then loaded up on beer and shiz for another whirl around the lake with a few of the same crew members. After a while we headed back in again and probably ate some more and all sat around socializing. We sat on the floor and watched Kassie pick at Beau’s face and plucked his eyebrows and Dylan was so mortified, yet he couldn’t look away. Kassie and I went for a walk to get some exercise and passed a party goin on with some locals who told us the party was over by them but Kassie yelled back that the party was “Right over here” pointing to where we were walking. We finally turned around and walked back where apparently everyone had been looking for us. Later in the evening, after Dan, Kelly, Kelly and Mark left most of us decided to take a late night ride in the boat so I checked my phone before we left and expecting a text from Ian, was very surprised to see one from Eric saying: What up with you today. I responded back that I was in MN and that we should get lunch or something soon. I did not hear back. I grabbed the sweatshirt Roxy gave me and ran down to the boat. It was Kasey, Aubs, Jackson, Dylan and me and to keep the boys occupied we gave them jobs and Jackson took his role as Navigator very seriously and used the Eagle Creek wallet Dad gave him as a GPS system and told us where the sharks were and which direction we needed to go in. We were listening to Rod Stewart and I sat there thinking about Ian for most of it. Jackson wanted to sit on someone’s lap but ended up specifying that he wanted it to be Aubs and we all “ooOOoooh”-d and he got all shy. Back at the ranch we all watched the news together for a little bit and us kids finally left but went to Beau and Danielle’s to hang out before Beau left to go back to South Dakota for school. We pulled up and him and his friend Eric were securing the crotch rocket in the trailer and we talked about how my Mom had given his aunt drugs back in the 70’s and made her go cross-eyed, and he confirmed it before Kassie even asked him too much about it. Then he confirmed that Dad took his Mom to her Prom and it was funny to just chat with this kid whose mother semi-dated my father. Crazy. We went in the house and met some friends of Beau’s then found Jackson and Danielle and got a tour. We played with Jackson then ended up telling diarrhea stories and ghost stories and laughing hysterically. Jackson couldn’t remember my name so I told him it was Rhonda, then it became Big Rhonda, then it became Big Sexy Rhonda and Jackson would say it so funny, by rolling his tongue on the R in Rhonda. Then he made up a dance for it. Beau got out his senior pictures and let us all choose some and J was excited to put some into his new wallet and I vowed I would bring him a picture of me too. It was 12:13 (per Aubrie) when we left, headed back to Clint’s, got ready for bed and was ready to sleep by 1:00.

Friday 8/31, I woke up at 8 and called Jan who told me I needed to get a new counter so I rushed out to Home Depot and frantically picked out a new counter for the second bath and had to go with white because there was no time for anything else, so I loaded it into my cart, slicing my finger open in the process and bleeding all over my hand, had trouble checking out and almost freaked out, loaded the damn thing into my car and it barely fit. I rushed home and unloaded it and hauled it up to the main floor, sweating and swearing all the while. I ran around cleaning and finishing packing and Eliso showed up right at 10 as we had discussed. I made a bagel sandwich and grabbed some crackers and we were out the door. Got to the airport with no problems, I thanked her and kissed her goodbye, checked in, waited in security forever and eventually made it to my gate which was surprisingly empty and settled into an unpopulated area with a magazine, a little Arcade Fire and my bagel sandwich. I wandered around and got a water and candy bar then back to the gate. Ian and I traded hilarious texts about coffee and the percent of people who say they think it's more necessary than sex. Then he said something hilarious about tea-bagging his coffee and that I could use the mental image to "take care of business" during flight. I was in stitches and people were looking at me funny. I eventually boarded after a half hour delay. The flight was fine and I slept for a good portion of it and read a back issue of Jane for the rest of it. I called the girls as soon as I landed and we started coordinating our efforts. Down at baggage claim Aubrie came and met me and we laughed and kidded around and I gave her the remainder of my crackers which she ate like a gremlin until my bag came then we high tailed it outside (where we saw Harry Potter) and waited for them to circle. Some lady in a Lexus got all mouthy with me so I yelled back at her and Kassie wanted to chase her down but she was long gone. We got on the road with the Heart Strings playing and ended up pulling over to eat dinner at the Noodle Shop or Noodles and Shiz or something. Three out of four of us had the macaroni and it was really good. We laughed and talked and all got along swimmingly. I snagged a Starbucks cookie afterward then we continued on our way gabbing the whole time. Most of my talking was about Ian. We were following mapquest directions which took us through Hutch but there was this long detour and we weren’t sure where we were going to end up but sure enough soon we were entering Liltchfield and Mom called then she put Roxy on who told us they weren’t home and we were staying at Clint’s so we shouldn’t go to her and Uncle Dick’s house. Jodi called me and told me to meet her at DQ and we could follow her from there (I had also just been informed she’s pregnant). When we got to the house we all lugged our stuff in and ended up sitting in the kitchen eating chocolate and delicious popcorn flavored puffs and gabbing away until 11:30 or so. Kasey got their computer working so that I could check myspace and read a sweet message from Ian and showed them Heather’s profile (we were all terrified together) then Michelle’s then we watched the Pearl video before heading upstairs to go to bed. Kassie and Aubs took the guest room again which had been switched with Kasey’s old room and I would have her room and Alishia would have the basement all to herself like usual. The three of us girls whispered and giggled for a long time and looked at all the pictures Kassie developed so that was fun. I read for a bit then turned in.

Thursday 8/30, I texted Michael while at work to see if he wanted to go see Eric at work either before Neighbours or after or something. So on my way home from work he actually CALLED ME, which surprised me because usually I call him and he texts back, so it was a bit of a role reversal for us. We chatted about Eric and his relationship status as of a few weeks ago or a month ago then Michael sang “Silly Straight Boys” and made me laugh. We vowed to make plans soon and hung up. I didn’t walk but I did get quite a bit done around the house, what with painting the doors on the cubby, taping off stuff in my bathroom, taping off part of a window, taping off the cap, sweeping, vacuuming and other random stuff. I realized the counter in the second bath was the wrong depth and vowed to call Jan in the morning because it looked ridiculous and I didn’t know why no one said anything to me about it. If they would only put all the measurements on the damn thing this never would have happened! Whatever. I wrote to Ian and talked to Eliso and puttered around. I finally got ready to go dancing and planned to meet Susan up at our usual place. We walked up and we hate the new door people and the one was like IDs please, and I’m like I KNOW!! You’re clearly new here, I realize that you don’t know who I am and that you’re going to require my ID to get in! I realize this! I think we went upstairs first to watch the crowd but eventually made it downstairs onto the dance floor where it wasn’t long before I spotted Bun dancing right next to us. I was so excited and could hardly contain it. Richie showed up and we squealed and hugged and danced and talked about camping and his great lay on his birthday then I texted Eric asking what he was doing after work and Susan looked over disapprovingly and kept reminding me how much I like Ian and that she didn’t want to see me mess it up, but I reassured her that even if I managed to get together with Eric that evening that I wouldn’t make out with him. I like Ian way too much and it would be a bonus to shoot Eric down for once. I got a text back that he was going home so I told him to have fun with that and kept dancing. The three of us were picking out who was tragic and all sorts of other things and laughed at some of the people. There was some dumbshit sorority girl circle happening and they kept bumping into us and we kept moving, but they kept moving proportionally to us so finally we had to make a drastic move and ended up losing them. Richie left and never came back then Craig showed up and he looks FANTASTIC. I love his hair and he just looks healthy and with it. All right Craig! He danced with us for a while and we joked around about the business cards he’s going to make at Kinko’s stating that he’s a gay guy and can grab your boobs. I always forget how funny he can be. Then some AWFUL Billy Idol act came on and the guy didn’t even know the words to the song. Well to be fair, he knew about 60% of the chorus but he had these awful trainers on and sparkly gel in his hair and was way more over weight than Billy Idol has ever been and had a ridiculous dog collar on and just was terrible all round. Susan and I watched in horror. Then some other act that was terrible too and Craig left during that then the Prince guy came on and everyone was all excited about it and we just stood there. Finally they were all over and I decided to text Eric again saying to let me know if he wanted some company. Apparently he didn’t. Until a few days later. We went outside for some air and there was this semi-homeboy looking guy lingering around but he didn’t have the balls to say anything until we were heading back in and even then he only said hi so I returned his greeting and kept walking in. Said hi to Eric and asked him what the stamp was supposed to be (he didn’t know) and hit the floor again. We were having fun and eventually Craig showed back up and we had fun dancing with him some more but then decided it was time to leave so we hugged him and hit the bricks. Then that homeboy was back making weird animal noises and following us up the alley and telling us to come back and Susan told him what he was doing was charming or something and we laughed. Got in our cars and headed home. Ian was on myspace so I sent him a message but didn’t hear back so I went to sleep and got a few texts from him and told him I was going to sleep.

Wednesday 8/29, I went for my long walk after work even though it was hotter than hell and got honked at twice, yes! Ego boost coming right up. I was sweaty and exhausted by the time I got home, so I stripped down and started doing some chores but quickly got distracted by a phone call from Susan and instant messaging with Ian. He asked me if there was a “Seattle Ian” and I told him no and he said he was saving all his best moves for me, aww. We talked for a while but then it was time to get ready for dinner so we signed off (“No, you first!”) and I finished getting ready for Susan and my dinner at Palisades. I hit the road, there was some traffic, picked her up, ran into more traffic getting to the restaurant, found decent parking and went in only to be told we’d have to wait 10 minutes. Susan was mad I didn’t tell the hostess it was a special occasion and threatened to throw me in the pool. Then she threatened to throw everyone else into the pool as well, especially the saxophone player. She almost threw up when I pointed out one of the chefs I liked and clarified that Andy has personality so it’s ok to like him, then we started talking about boys with nice arms and backs and body hair then we were seated. Next to the pond with a sea anemone that looked like a little tiny penis. We tried to peer pressure one of the fish to give it a blow job but it didn’t work. I know, we’re a classy duo. We ordered and I ate almost all the bread and a bit of Susan’s salad, then ALL of my dinner. Good thing I wore the pregnancy shirt! This old man started talking to us and I think he freaked Susan out but I got a kick out of him and his wife was very nice too making sure he wasn’t bothering us. Susan continued to threaten to throw people in the pond, especially an irritating child. We paid and hit the road, spotting a really hot waiter on the way out and cursing that he hadn’t been ours and wondering how we got stuck with a girl. I dropped Susan off at home then climbed into bed at home with a Glamour. I went to bed around 11:30 and just as I was dozing into slumber I got a text, but I thought it was my alarm and I was so upset that I had to get up because I was still SO TIRED, then figured out it was a text. From Ian: “You’re sleeping…I’m kissing you on your forehead. :) Goodnight. Zzzzzz.” Adorable.

Tuesday 8/28, I was up early prepping for Jan to come back and also to enjoy visiting with Dad before he took off. We jabbered over bananas and chocolate Entenmann’s donuts then he took off and I finished getting ready. Jan showed up with the crew and I left not too much later. I made an appointment with Sean to get my hair cut and to get some bangs back and he thought that was a brilliant idea then we talked about Kassie and how we would both help her move if she wanted to come back up here and Sean doesn’t help ANYONE, especially when it’s moving. Then we talked about how that’s what will be written on his gravestone. Sean: He didn’t help anyone. Eliso called while I was on my way home and inquired about a walk so I told her to come over with the dogs and she practically beat me home. She inspected all the work that had been accomplished and gave her approval and so did I. We headed to Timberlake Park and walked down to the water all while chatting and talking about the boys and bisexuality and other random topics. Sos threw the ball for Anu and Duke for a long time while we just stood there talking then we decided to walk back up to the car and walk back down for some extra exercise. There was some sketchy guy feeding his dog blackberries. We talked more then we went back to my place where she dropped me off and I told her I’d see her at her place in a few. I checked in with Jan and he went over some stuff with me then I took off with Kassie’s old receiver and DVD player that she was just going to give away to see if they wanted it. We looked at Eliso’s wedding pictures and there were so many good ones, the slideshow made me a little weepy a few times and brought back all the memories from it. There were a few really good ones of Ian and I would squeal in delight every time he showed up on the screen. I called Jim and told him we would come over so they could look at his old dresser then headed out. They liked it so we loaded it into the Mercedes and Sos and I drove back in that and Jake in their car, we unloaded it, then Sos and I drove back and socialized with Jim a little. He invited them to come over while they’re away in Italy while I’m there and we can hang out which Eliso was all over. We hit the store on the way home and started on dinner when we got there. She fed me some delicious homemade cream of chicken soup and I fixed the salad and bread, yay me! I made her look at all the wedding pictures I had and she liked a bunch but hated some of the other ones, ha! Around 9 I rolled out and I’m not sure what I did at home, inspected the work maybe and vacuumed? Read and went to bed? Sure, sounds good.

Monday 8/27, Dad was flying back into town so I was busting ass at home trying to make SOME SORT of progress since he’d been there last. I can’t remember if I did or not…but I think I made a little bit. He got there around 8 and we took off right away for Outback to get some grub. We were seated in the nicest girl’s section, we loved her! She talked to us forever and ever about how awful Bellevue people can be and she gave us recommendations (I was thrilled with my chicken!) and about moving and how it’s hard on kids and all sorts of other stuff. We wrapped it up and decided to see if DQ was open and I commented that if it was that that would be my third trip in as many days to DQ. Dad’s rationale: “It’s ice milk, no fat, low cal” I don’t know if I believe him, but I let him persuade me into more iced treats! The guy who rung us up was soo funny Dad could barely breathe he was laughing so hard. He told us he owned the whole block and said that some guy keeps stealing all their garbage (one of his co-workers who looked over at us sheepishly) among other things. We watched him from afar and continued to be entertained all the way through our desserts. I got the Kit Kat blizzard again because it was so good the first time. We went home and it was almost 10:30 so we both turned in and I read some before going to sleep.