Tuesday 12/11, Ky sent me a text requesting my presence at Rosebud, but I knew I had too much stuff to do at home and was very tired from 5 late nights in a row. I went to the store after work then to Fred Meyer to pick up a prescription then as I was standing in line I noticed my zipper was down so I had been walking around all over the place with my fly open. Great. I called Susan on my way out and to tell her and also about Brandon and she guessed engaged as well, then guessed STD and I’m like “It better not fucking be” I had his ass tested so if it is it better have been contracted after we broke up. Anyway, who knows. At home I tried to clean up a little but ended up getting sidetracked with tv and feeling tired so I laid in bed and tried not to fall asleep at 8:15. 5 nights in a row of staying up late has finally caught up with me. I had mini-drama with Ian at work after I told LPC happy birthday and called him Charismo and he called me Charisma back and Ian asked me why I’m always surprised when he writes me and leaves comments when I’m leaving him comments like that. I told him they’re just nicknames and not terms of endearment. We emailed a little while I tried not to fall asleep. I talked to Chrystol who confirmed, in between laughing fits, that no, it was not an STD. Phew. That was good news. She also confirmed that he’s not engaged. Not that I care about that one, he can be engaged all he wants. I called Ian but didn’t hear back, showered, watched the news then hit the sack because I was exhausted.
Monday 12/10, I left work a few minutes early in order to get down into Ballard for my facial with Meghan. I was a few minutes late but so was she so I perused the merchandise while she set up. Her room is so cute, all pink and shabby chic. We got down to business and talked about Kassie and Skylar and Ian and kids and how she's in the same boat I am as far as wanting children goes. Afterward I called Susan and drove to her place and she suggested Thai so we walked up to 15th and ate at this great little place and I had yellow curry fried rice and it was soo good. I can't wait to eat the leftovers for dinner! She ranted for a while then we talked about Neighbours and some other stuff. We stopped in Victrola to get some hot chocolate (Susan's treat!) and avoided a certain boy there, though I caught him gazing in our direction. We walked back to her place and I told her about how Ian had insisted he was going to find my blog and what that means and a few other things about some interesting behavior I noticed that makes me a little suspicious. Of course if he ends up finding this thing I'll probably be asked what I’m referring to. Oh well. When we got back to her place I grabbed my leftovers and hit the road. I called Chrystol on the way home to see if she wanted to come over for ANTM and to see how her and Schy are doing. She invited me to some loft party that Mulally is playing at but it's on Thursday so I'll either have to split my time or pick one or the other. It would probably be kind of fun though. We'll see. Then she asked if I'd received an email from B and I said no and asked why and when it would have been and she wouldn't give up much information other than it was sent about a month ago and that she wanted me to get the email from him. I told her it was going to eat at my soul not knowing and furiously racked my brain for reasons he could possibly be writing me when I haven't talked to him in almost a year and a half. The curiosity is going to kill me. We chatted for a while longer after I got home and I hope she comes over for my party because that would be fun. For reasons totally unrelated to finding out what the hell Brandon wants. I showered and when I got out I was about to call Kay-See to wish her happy birthday again and my phone rang and it was her so we chatted and made plans for Wednesday and I told her about B's email (her guess: he’s engaged) then she had to go because R had just picked up some stuff for her b-day or something. I read some of my past blogs, edited one because my grammar was off and then fucking blogger deleted one of my Mondays so that pissed me off so I had to try and remember and write something there. I had like an anxiety attack over it though. What did I do on that Monday?! OMG! What am I going to do if I don't have an account of what happened that day?! I need to switch to decaf or something.
Sunday 12/9, We slept in a bit and I roused him with an Interpol question by singing “It’s way too late” then he started softly singing as well and grabbed his phone so we could listen to it. We got up not too long after that to tackle the day. Ian needed coffee and food so and I had asked earlier if we could go down to Everyday Music so we parked and walked to Whole Foods. We both got warm drinks and the guy asked if I wanted marshmallows too and I was like, “Oh yeah!” I never get asked that. Only whipped cream. Then we decided to each pick out a pastry and took off. We didn’t get far before Ian realized he hadn’t put cream or sugar in so we went back and I told him it was the best hot chocolate I’ve had in a very long time to which he was very gracious. On the way out I was like “I love him!” and Ian was like “Too bad he doesn’t feel the same way” and I was like, “Yeah, he probably wants kids! Oh snap!” and he was like, “Not with you, he’d want cute ones!” and I stopped with my mouth open at him and he was like “Kidding, kidding!” so I was like “And PS, if we were to have kids -- ” and he goes “I know, they would be sooo cute!” just as I was saying it. But I don’t want them so it’s kind of just salt in the wound. We walked over to Everyday Music and I got a whole stack of cds, mostly used thank goodness and I got the one Madlib one for Ian since Zeph had told me if I got it for him I would get lucky. We dropped our purchases at the car and hid from the ladies who wanted our spot then walked to Powell’s and perused magazines for a long time and just cuddled and smiled at each other while looking up facts on the internet (Ian had to erase the “donkey punch” entry, which I was right about, btw). We decided to see if there was a movie playing, but there weren’t any good ones around the time we wanted so we caught the trolley down to Hot Lips pizza and I got a wonderful ham and pear and he got the Sicilian. I told him lots of horror stories about childbirth and the husband stitch and he kept looking at me disgustedly, and was like “I feel nauseous” which just made me laugh. We walked over to the park and took some pictures with the holiday displays then walked back to the car. We went back to his house and he burned some cds while we all watched the Bob Dylan documentary and Ian almost tipped us in the papasan. We ended up in his room cuddling because I knew I had to leave as it was dark and nearing 5:00. We warmed each other up and talked and kissed and enjoyed our last moment together then I got up, packed and readied myself to head out the door. He walked me down and we stood in front of my car for a long time kissing and talking and hugging before finally letting each other go. When I got on the road I noticed it was 5:30 and I made it home by 8:20, which is pretty good considering I didn’t speed too much and it was dark out. I didn’t stop at all and ended up talking to Susan for a good portion of the drive. At home I ate some dinner then received a text from Kay-See to meet at her house at 10:30 to pick up Kyky at the airport. I was really tired and laid in bed watching my shows until 10 then took off and was greeted by K when I arrived. R was there and I was trying to tell her about Eric and R kept interrupting and being a know-it-all about guys and people in general and I just couldn’t even talk. Finally I was like whatever and let him keep running his mouth because apparently he knows how every person in the whole world works. Blah. Richie and Cory were downstairs so we headed down and got hugs and started gabbing right away. Luckily K drove because I was so exhausted from all my driving plus I was going to have to drive home after that too. In the car I told them about Ian and Richie wanted to know about the Reindeer Fucker so I told him I’d ask Ian then I told them about our web camming and they wanted all the dirty details but I didn’t have any to share and said I would work on it. We had a couple snafus getting to the parking garage but eventually figured it out and headed in to find Ky at the baggage claim. His hair is so long and he looks great and we all took turns getting hugs and we all talked over each other in our excitement. We all made our way back to K’s car and I came up with a new nickname for Richie – Snitchy. Then Sleazy, because of how he looked in one of the pictures I took. We all gabbed on the ride home, the three of us in the backseat mostly discussed Craig and health issues, then dropped Cory, Richie and Ky off at their place, then I walked to my car and drove home.
Saturday 12/8, I woke up first and we kind of rustled around then I told him I was getting up to shower so off I went and enjoyed a hot shower with the window open per usual. When I got out he was like "Karrah! Come out here!" and when I got out to the living room he was looking out the window and was like "Look at the cute squirrel in the tree!" and was so excited about it. I just laughed and gave him a big hug because he's so adorable. We both got ready then rolled out to enjoy the wonderful sunny day. We were on a mission to find the place he had wanted to take me to the time before. We found it, on Mississippi, and walked down from our parking spot enjoying the sun, though it was really cold. There was quite a wait so we put our name in and went to the coffee shop down the block then stopped into a little antique shop where I got Mom an ornament and a tiny tea cup. We walked back and checked where we were on the list and decided to walk down the block the other direction then ended up back in front of it (Gravy) talking and watching the guy on the roof across the street. He told me about how Nick used his line at the bar and dissed him and some other stuff I can't remember. Finally it was our turn and we got a good seat and I let the waiter pick between two omelets I couldn't decide on (winner: sun dried tomato, spinach, mushroom and provolone). Ian and I talked and flirted all through breakfast then walked back to the car and it was so warm. You would expect the opposite. Ha, that's a joke. Let's see, we drove around and Ian didn't even care, he's that cool. Burnin gas. That's a joke too. We went to the little part of town we always go to...Hawthorne? Maybe? Anyway, we parked and walked to Jackpot to get tickets to the Laura Gibson show but they were sold out so then we went to this funky vintage-y shop and cruised through. Back to the car then back to his house. We both went online to check myspace and such and I realized that Fleet Foxes were playing with Laura Gibson and Cave Singers and told Ian all about Craig and how he's in that band but probably won't be there because of his recent surgery. Ian talked to Nick and told him I knew one of the guys in the band and that they're really good, so that made me really excited to see them and I was keeping my fingers crossed that he would be there. We watched some of the Dylan documentary and maybe some Curb Your Enthusiasm (carwash cunt!) then got ready to go out for the night and I asked him if I should get dressed up and put on my fancy shirt and he said I looked like a flying squirrel and I was like "Jerk!" then he backtracked and told me I looked very nice and hugged me but I knew he thought I looked funny. I know he liked the jeans and the shoes though so at least those were a hit. We rolled out, found parking fine and ran down the block to the Doug Fir. We decided to get dinner first and had a waiter that looks like Derek's friend at Neighbours. He gave Ian a hard time for wearing his hat inside which made him even more adamant about not taking it off. We had a quick dinner then went and sat in the lounge waiting for the box office to open. We talked about family, the mirrored bathrooms, sex, making out in public and some other stuff then went and bought the tickets, then back to our seat for a while. We kept talking and cuddling and just enjoyed being with each other. He suggested we go downstairs to snag a seat and when we got down there we grabbed the one closest to the stage and on the side so we didn't have anyone to one side of us. We resumed our talking and cuddling down there and discussed the architecture of the venue and my blog and how I'm not going to give it to him because I've only given it to like 4 people but if he wants to find it then that's up to him. Obviously if I'm putting it on the internet and not setting the entries to private then I'm not THAT opposed to someone finding it. I told him my hesitation is him reading things I've written about my and Eric's interactions and him misinterpreting something because even Susan has mentioned that she doesn't get some of the stuff I write and she's there and has misinterpreted some instances...so he said he understood because he's got emails that could be categorized similarly. He said he wouldn't find it, but I won't be surprised if I see a new IP address from Portland pop up on my sitetracker with a bunch of random search terms. Anyway so then the Fleet Foxes went on and they were amazing and Ian loved them and the entire place was dead silent and Ian said it's never like that in there, which I saw later in the night when CS and LG played. So Craig wasn't there but there was a guy who looked like him and Ian had a plan to find out if it was him that involved his phone and shouting Craig into it. Totally wasn't him. I remember during a couple of the songs being next to Ian and feeling so incredibly happy, and like I was experiencing a truly all encompassing happy moment. He had his hand on my leg and my head on his shoulder and it was just as close to perfect as I think you can get. Or at least that I've ever gotten. Next were the CS and I agreed with Ian about the guy's voice but they were still good and finally Laura Gibson. I really liked her and some of her songs are so beautiful and that's the only adjective I can come up with. Beautiful. I got teary a few times because in the moment it was all very powerful and emotional and thinking about how happy I am when I'm with Ian and how I won't have it forever and that I have to recognize and appreciate every moment I experience with him like that. I think I can safely say it was one of the happiest moments in my life. Truly. After the show Ian called Nick and Lauren and it was a no go and we ran back to the car and drove home. Ryan was up and the boys watched some SNL while I got ready for bed. Ian and I turned in and talked FOREVER in bed. For like 2 hours, about exes and sex and how soft my boobs are on a scale of 1 to 10 (6) and many other things I'm sure. I was giggling so much Ian had to shush me a couple times thinking poor Ryan probably thought we were going at it. Eventually one thing led to another and we both ended up getting cramps in our legs but weren't deterred from our respective getting offs. There was a quite loud finale then we both crashed out.
Monday 12/10, I left work a few minutes early in order to get down into Ballard for my facial with Meghan. I was a few minutes late but so was she so I perused the merchandise while she set up. Her room is so cute, all pink and shabby chic. We got down to business and talked about Kassie and Skylar and Ian and kids and how she's in the same boat I am as far as wanting children goes. Afterward I called Susan and drove to her place and she suggested Thai so we walked up to 15th and ate at this great little place and I had yellow curry fried rice and it was soo good. I can't wait to eat the leftovers for dinner! She ranted for a while then we talked about Neighbours and some other stuff. We stopped in Victrola to get some hot chocolate (Susan's treat!) and avoided a certain boy there, though I caught him gazing in our direction. We walked back to her place and I told her about how Ian had insisted he was going to find my blog and what that means and a few other things about some interesting behavior I noticed that makes me a little suspicious. Of course if he ends up finding this thing I'll probably be asked what I’m referring to. Oh well. When we got back to her place I grabbed my leftovers and hit the road. I called Chrystol on the way home to see if she wanted to come over for ANTM and to see how her and Schy are doing. She invited me to some loft party that Mulally is playing at but it's on Thursday so I'll either have to split my time or pick one or the other. It would probably be kind of fun though. We'll see. Then she asked if I'd received an email from B and I said no and asked why and when it would have been and she wouldn't give up much information other than it was sent about a month ago and that she wanted me to get the email from him. I told her it was going to eat at my soul not knowing and furiously racked my brain for reasons he could possibly be writing me when I haven't talked to him in almost a year and a half. The curiosity is going to kill me. We chatted for a while longer after I got home and I hope she comes over for my party because that would be fun. For reasons totally unrelated to finding out what the hell Brandon wants. I showered and when I got out I was about to call Kay-See to wish her happy birthday again and my phone rang and it was her so we chatted and made plans for Wednesday and I told her about B's email (her guess: he’s engaged) then she had to go because R had just picked up some stuff for her b-day or something. I read some of my past blogs, edited one because my grammar was off and then fucking blogger deleted one of my Mondays so that pissed me off so I had to try and remember and write something there. I had like an anxiety attack over it though. What did I do on that Monday?! OMG! What am I going to do if I don't have an account of what happened that day?! I need to switch to decaf or something.
Sunday 12/9, We slept in a bit and I roused him with an Interpol question by singing “It’s way too late” then he started softly singing as well and grabbed his phone so we could listen to it. We got up not too long after that to tackle the day. Ian needed coffee and food so and I had asked earlier if we could go down to Everyday Music so we parked and walked to Whole Foods. We both got warm drinks and the guy asked if I wanted marshmallows too and I was like, “Oh yeah!” I never get asked that. Only whipped cream. Then we decided to each pick out a pastry and took off. We didn’t get far before Ian realized he hadn’t put cream or sugar in so we went back and I told him it was the best hot chocolate I’ve had in a very long time to which he was very gracious. On the way out I was like “I love him!” and Ian was like “Too bad he doesn’t feel the same way” and I was like, “Yeah, he probably wants kids! Oh snap!” and he was like, “Not with you, he’d want cute ones!” and I stopped with my mouth open at him and he was like “Kidding, kidding!” so I was like “And PS, if we were to have kids -- ” and he goes “I know, they would be sooo cute!” just as I was saying it. But I don’t want them so it’s kind of just salt in the wound. We walked over to Everyday Music and I got a whole stack of cds, mostly used thank goodness and I got the one Madlib one for Ian since Zeph had told me if I got it for him I would get lucky. We dropped our purchases at the car and hid from the ladies who wanted our spot then walked to Powell’s and perused magazines for a long time and just cuddled and smiled at each other while looking up facts on the internet (Ian had to erase the “donkey punch” entry, which I was right about, btw). We decided to see if there was a movie playing, but there weren’t any good ones around the time we wanted so we caught the trolley down to Hot Lips pizza and I got a wonderful ham and pear and he got the Sicilian. I told him lots of horror stories about childbirth and the husband stitch and he kept looking at me disgustedly, and was like “I feel nauseous” which just made me laugh. We walked over to the park and took some pictures with the holiday displays then walked back to the car. We went back to his house and he burned some cds while we all watched the Bob Dylan documentary and Ian almost tipped us in the papasan. We ended up in his room cuddling because I knew I had to leave as it was dark and nearing 5:00. We warmed each other up and talked and kissed and enjoyed our last moment together then I got up, packed and readied myself to head out the door. He walked me down and we stood in front of my car for a long time kissing and talking and hugging before finally letting each other go. When I got on the road I noticed it was 5:30 and I made it home by 8:20, which is pretty good considering I didn’t speed too much and it was dark out. I didn’t stop at all and ended up talking to Susan for a good portion of the drive. At home I ate some dinner then received a text from Kay-See to meet at her house at 10:30 to pick up Kyky at the airport. I was really tired and laid in bed watching my shows until 10 then took off and was greeted by K when I arrived. R was there and I was trying to tell her about Eric and R kept interrupting and being a know-it-all about guys and people in general and I just couldn’t even talk. Finally I was like whatever and let him keep running his mouth because apparently he knows how every person in the whole world works. Blah. Richie and Cory were downstairs so we headed down and got hugs and started gabbing right away. Luckily K drove because I was so exhausted from all my driving plus I was going to have to drive home after that too. In the car I told them about Ian and Richie wanted to know about the Reindeer Fucker so I told him I’d ask Ian then I told them about our web camming and they wanted all the dirty details but I didn’t have any to share and said I would work on it. We had a couple snafus getting to the parking garage but eventually figured it out and headed in to find Ky at the baggage claim. His hair is so long and he looks great and we all took turns getting hugs and we all talked over each other in our excitement. We all made our way back to K’s car and I came up with a new nickname for Richie – Snitchy. Then Sleazy, because of how he looked in one of the pictures I took. We all gabbed on the ride home, the three of us in the backseat mostly discussed Craig and health issues, then dropped Cory, Richie and Ky off at their place, then I walked to my car and drove home.
Saturday 12/8, I woke up first and we kind of rustled around then I told him I was getting up to shower so off I went and enjoyed a hot shower with the window open per usual. When I got out he was like "Karrah! Come out here!" and when I got out to the living room he was looking out the window and was like "Look at the cute squirrel in the tree!" and was so excited about it. I just laughed and gave him a big hug because he's so adorable. We both got ready then rolled out to enjoy the wonderful sunny day. We were on a mission to find the place he had wanted to take me to the time before. We found it, on Mississippi, and walked down from our parking spot enjoying the sun, though it was really cold. There was quite a wait so we put our name in and went to the coffee shop down the block then stopped into a little antique shop where I got Mom an ornament and a tiny tea cup. We walked back and checked where we were on the list and decided to walk down the block the other direction then ended up back in front of it (Gravy) talking and watching the guy on the roof across the street. He told me about how Nick used his line at the bar and dissed him and some other stuff I can't remember. Finally it was our turn and we got a good seat and I let the waiter pick between two omelets I couldn't decide on (winner: sun dried tomato, spinach, mushroom and provolone). Ian and I talked and flirted all through breakfast then walked back to the car and it was so warm. You would expect the opposite. Ha, that's a joke. Let's see, we drove around and Ian didn't even care, he's that cool. Burnin gas. That's a joke too. We went to the little part of town we always go to...Hawthorne? Maybe? Anyway, we parked and walked to Jackpot to get tickets to the Laura Gibson show but they were sold out so then we went to this funky vintage-y shop and cruised through. Back to the car then back to his house. We both went online to check myspace and such and I realized that Fleet Foxes were playing with Laura Gibson and Cave Singers and told Ian all about Craig and how he's in that band but probably won't be there because of his recent surgery. Ian talked to Nick and told him I knew one of the guys in the band and that they're really good, so that made me really excited to see them and I was keeping my fingers crossed that he would be there. We watched some of the Dylan documentary and maybe some Curb Your Enthusiasm (carwash cunt!) then got ready to go out for the night and I asked him if I should get dressed up and put on my fancy shirt and he said I looked like a flying squirrel and I was like "Jerk!" then he backtracked and told me I looked very nice and hugged me but I knew he thought I looked funny. I know he liked the jeans and the shoes though so at least those were a hit. We rolled out, found parking fine and ran down the block to the Doug Fir. We decided to get dinner first and had a waiter that looks like Derek's friend at Neighbours. He gave Ian a hard time for wearing his hat inside which made him even more adamant about not taking it off. We had a quick dinner then went and sat in the lounge waiting for the box office to open. We talked about family, the mirrored bathrooms, sex, making out in public and some other stuff then went and bought the tickets, then back to our seat for a while. We kept talking and cuddling and just enjoyed being with each other. He suggested we go downstairs to snag a seat and when we got down there we grabbed the one closest to the stage and on the side so we didn't have anyone to one side of us. We resumed our talking and cuddling down there and discussed the architecture of the venue and my blog and how I'm not going to give it to him because I've only given it to like 4 people but if he wants to find it then that's up to him. Obviously if I'm putting it on the internet and not setting the entries to private then I'm not THAT opposed to someone finding it. I told him my hesitation is him reading things I've written about my and Eric's interactions and him misinterpreting something because even Susan has mentioned that she doesn't get some of the stuff I write and she's there and has misinterpreted some instances...so he said he understood because he's got emails that could be categorized similarly. He said he wouldn't find it, but I won't be surprised if I see a new IP address from Portland pop up on my sitetracker with a bunch of random search terms. Anyway so then the Fleet Foxes went on and they were amazing and Ian loved them and the entire place was dead silent and Ian said it's never like that in there, which I saw later in the night when CS and LG played. So Craig wasn't there but there was a guy who looked like him and Ian had a plan to find out if it was him that involved his phone and shouting Craig into it. Totally wasn't him. I remember during a couple of the songs being next to Ian and feeling so incredibly happy, and like I was experiencing a truly all encompassing happy moment. He had his hand on my leg and my head on his shoulder and it was just as close to perfect as I think you can get. Or at least that I've ever gotten. Next were the CS and I agreed with Ian about the guy's voice but they were still good and finally Laura Gibson. I really liked her and some of her songs are so beautiful and that's the only adjective I can come up with. Beautiful. I got teary a few times because in the moment it was all very powerful and emotional and thinking about how happy I am when I'm with Ian and how I won't have it forever and that I have to recognize and appreciate every moment I experience with him like that. I think I can safely say it was one of the happiest moments in my life. Truly. After the show Ian called Nick and Lauren and it was a no go and we ran back to the car and drove home. Ryan was up and the boys watched some SNL while I got ready for bed. Ian and I turned in and talked FOREVER in bed. For like 2 hours, about exes and sex and how soft my boobs are on a scale of 1 to 10 (6) and many other things I'm sure. I was giggling so much Ian had to shush me a couple times thinking poor Ryan probably thought we were going at it. Eventually one thing led to another and we both ended up getting cramps in our legs but weren't deterred from our respective getting offs. There was a quite loud finale then we both crashed out.
posted by Karrah at 11:34 PM
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