Saturday 2/2, I got out of bed around 8:30 and started on getting my place cleaned up. I always do little odds and ends but it still always feels filthy so I started in and didn’t stop for an hour and a half. I felt so much better but then freaked out a little when Susan called and I realized it was 10. I busted ass in the shower and getting ready then headed out and called Susan. When I got there Damon was there and I said hi then the three of us took off in the car with me reclining in the back. We dropped him then headed to Queen Anne, found parking easily and headed into 5 Spot. We got our name on the list then spotted Michael and lured him and his tight black pants and skinny black tie over. When his manager came back over we pleaded to let us sit in his section. He totally complied, though we had to wait about 10 minutes and he asked us not to call him an “f-ity b”. Michael came over as we were perusing the menu by the door and scared the shit out of me, so he reacted by exclaiming “Boo!” and we laughed. I got a little crumb out of his beard for him then showed him, though I don’t think he was as excited about it as I was. He asked about Neighbs so I told him about Erik but he doesn’t remember who he is. Anyway, so we got a booth and talked with Michael for a long time about all the boys there and put our orders in. Susan and I continued to discuss the upside down question mark and Michael and Damon and getting some. Our food came and it was so good but by the time we were finished I was so full and was anticipating quite the sugar high (vanilla dipped French toast drenched in caramel). Susan tipped M like 47%, we got hugs and boxes then set out. We tried to find a bakery then called Chrystol to find out where that coffee shop is with the cute boy so she directed us; I got a hot chocolate but no cute boy. We stopped in Trader Joe’s for flourless chocolate cookies and water then called Chrystol back who gave me some kind of funny and not so surprising news then invited me for their super bowl party said to call her later. We walked up the million stairs to the car and took off for the Crest. We made it with plenty of time and got good seats until this sniffler sat behind us so we ended up moving like 4 rows up because we could still hear him even after moving down 3 seats. We saw The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford and I really loved it, especially the sweeping landscape shots and the music during those shots. Susan, however, fell asleep several times. This completely amused me. We went back to her house after it was over and I drove home calling Kay-See on the way who cancelled breakfast the next day. When I got home I took a nap and dreamed Kassie came home and surprised me. I got up at 6:30 and fixed some dinner then talked to Susan. Watched some tv then talked to Ky for a few minutes then read through a million blogs trying to find some very specific entries and totally cracked up. Watched SNL, updated this then went to bed.
Friday 2/1, I texted Erik on my lunch break and we back and forth-d a bit and when he told me he was at a dental exam I literally laughed out loud. I sent the correspondence to both Susan and Kay-See who both thought it was funny and specifically made Susan laugh. Heh. I was very tired after work so I crawled into bed and fell asleep. I was supposed to have dinner with Sos but when she called I asked if I could take a rain check because I was so tired and didn’t feel like leaving the house. She said it was fine and I tried to go back to sleep but wasn’t able so I got up and made a salad and some pasta then a little smoothie while I watched Layer Cake. Let me tell you, if there’s a night I’m feeling down all I need to do is turn on something with Daniel Craig in it (ok, not Elizabeth, he’s creepy in that) and I will feel a whole lot better. He’s sooo f-ing hot it’s not even funny. Mmm. Hmm, after that I read and eventually got to bed around midnight.
Thursday 1/31, I dreamt of B and Diana who had been peeping my windows and saw that I was walking around my house naked so she grabbed B and tried to come busting in but I'd seen her and was in the bathroom with Susan distracting while I put some clothes on and when I came out they were both so disappointed to see me clothed. Seriously, what is with these dreams? Maybe it's the medication. Warning: You will have all sorts of fucked up dreams about exes and prospective bfs. Weeeird. Is this what I have to look forward to for the next 6 months? I don't have that many bfs so we'll see who starts popping up after I run through all of them (still haven’t dreamt of Ian or Trevor or Guy, ooh, or Michael…or Randy - let’s hope that one doesn’t manifest). Mailed my love letter to Ian. I hit 22,000 page views on myspace. I feel like that's a lot until I see that my little sister has like 49,000. Talked to Sos for a few minutes before leaving work then brought Leif back to my house so he could look at the thermostat in my room and I think he may have fixed it but I can't tell yet. He said if I get a digital one that he'll put it in for me so that's awesome and I won't have to pay like $200. More like $20. Nice! I talked to Susan and whined that I didn't want to do my workout and she pointed out that Erik may be seeing me naked soon and asked if that was motivation enough. Yes Susan, yes it is. We talked about how hilarious Trevor and LPC's comments were and how I hoped Ian saw them even though I don't want to make out with either of those boys. After hanging up I got right on that video like you wouldn't believe. I was sweating my ass off by the end and my thighs were killing me. I fixed a little dinner and tidied then showered and got ready and somehow got sucked into Celebrity Apprentice or some shit. To be fair I wasn't really watching it, it was just on in the background while I surfed the net. I went over to Susan's where we strategized about boys and she said something so hilarious but I don't want to put it on here without her permission but it was something about Damon and 5 minutes and the way she said it had me in stitches. I ate a bunch of tortilla chips and we tried to find that hot sous chef's website but were unsuccessful. We headed out a little before 11, parked and went in to a very disappointing scene. No Erik and a new female bouncer in his place who asked for my id. I wanted to ask her "Don't you know who I am?!" but kept my mouth shut and got my license out. Margot was right in front of us when we went in and she was like “Oh, its you two. You’re the HOTTEST couple! I love how you dance; you put the rest of us to shame” or something, so that was very flattering then she said she was already drunk and that she’d dropped $200 at WH,BM. Later we joked about Value Village and her scores at the 80’s bin. Susan told me to ask the money guy about the Neighbs closing rumor and he said no so that made us feel better. They remodeled and moved the coat check and it's so fancy now. We went upstairs to check out the crowd and saw Tye, Susan's clapping bf, her lurker bf and that damn green shirt guy that looks like Jerry from Tower. We went down to check our coats then hit the floor. The songs were pretty good but I was bummed Erik wasn't going to be there, wahh! I Touch Myself came on and Susan did the funniest thing with her hand and the expression on her face had me dying and I fell back against the mirror I was laughing so hard. Plus Margot was super into it and really going for it. The green shirt guy was irritating already, knocking all over the place and jumping off the stage which was a sign of things to come from his dumb ass. We saw our PE bfs and they looked scrumptious as ever in their short shorts and sweatbands. We spotted a guy that looked like an imposter Richie and we didn’t have to wait long for the real Richie (with Ersi in tow) to show up. He was wearing his glasses from third grade (when he told me I was like “I can tell!”) and I was laughing so hard. Oh Richie. They were big on his face so I can’t even imagine what they looked like when he was in third grade. He showed me something disgusting on his camera, but was oddly proud of it, and when he told Susan to look I was like “Don’t look, don’t look!” so she didn’t and Ersi was like “I think it’s funny!” Richie wanted to initiate the ass pinching game so our first mark was the imposter Richie and when I did it he turned around so surprised and excited and Richie and I just laughed our asses off, he was like “I love that we do it and keep dancing with each other because they never know what to do!” then I got one of the guys who was making out but didn’t get much reaction so I got a short guy behind Richie and I lingered too long and I think he saw my hand and was all irritated even though Richie was taking the heat. Then came tight-white-pants guy and I gave a hearty grab and he whipped around to one side then angrily whipped around to the other only to scowl at Richie and we both almost died as I impersonated him. He was so mad! Richie went to find Ersi then I wanted to ask my fav bartender where Erik was so I left Susan, waited for him to be done helping other patrons then went in for the kill. He got my water ready as he does automatically now and I asked him if Erik was working and he said he hadn’t seen him yet which probably meant no, which just meant that he got to have me all to himself accompanied by sly look. Then I told him I saw him on the Neighbs profile and introduced myself and he said it was a pleasure. It was so cute. I <3 him. Back out onto the floor to dance with Susan and we moved around to find a good spot and ended up on the back end of the floor. It wasn’t long before Richie found us again and asked us who we would sleep with within our line of vision, but there weren’t many so I picked this guy up on the balcony and Richie looked at me so disapprovingly and shook his head so I defensively yelled “Well, there are no cute guys here tonight!” then Susan pointed out her scarf wearing bf and Richie was all super approving of HER choice so I sat there with my arms crossed and pouted and he laughed his Richie laugh. I then spotted two cute blonde boys behind me and said I changed my answer to either of them. I told Richie about Erik and he was like “I heard! He’s SO hot, I’ve asked him sooo many times if he’s gay!” then he saw some guy he knew and said he was going to go make out so we danced for a few more minutes then said we were going to take off. We did kisses then got our coats and passed Big C (hmm, that’s confusing per something Andy told us) and started out. This HOT boy came out of the bathroom just as we were leaving and we both slowed down and craned our necks around then laughed all the way out. Birds of a feather. We walked quickly to our cars and I didn’t have any texts, hmpf.
Wednesday 1/30, No sex dreams from what I can remember. Finally. A little while after I got home I was trying to get some things cleaned up and got a text and figured it would be from Susan or Kay-See or Ian or something. Nope. It was from Erik (bouncer from Neighbs who I've been calling "Eric") and he was asking how I was. I was delighted and got all giddy and wrote back that I was about to hop in the shower. He wrote back that he'd just gotten out (laugh!) and I responded that at least we were both clean and that has to count for something. I asked him what was up and he sent this back:
I'm well, actually, I'm taking a month off the club to decide if I want to keep working the nite life or not. With that, I'm actually able to have a life and wondering with my new freedom if you would like to go on a date with me sometime? :)
How adorable is he? I wrote back that I don't think I've ever been asked out on a proper date and that I was going to enthusiastically say yes. We continued to text regarding days off, his other job and my attentiveness to what he tells me when we talk at the club and food preferences. I got ready and headed in to my appointment with Sean. I was a little early but that was good so I could text Erik back. I flipped through some sex card questions I bought a long time ago and have never really looked at so I thought they would be fun to take to Kay-See's so we could peruse for the next T or D session. Because let me tell you, there are some good truths in there. Anyway, so Sean was ready for me and asked why I was so hyper and jumpy so I started in about the boy stuff. We went over the pictures I brought and got down to business. He asked about Eric and Ian and I told him my theory about boys whose names start with vowels and how they're good for me. And he's like, or not; which I laughed at and agreed with. He asked about Kassie and the fam and lots of stuff. We joked about him slapping Aubrie's ass as she left his hotel room and telling her to say hi to Aunt Martha or someone for him. I asked him how his little fam is doing and looked all his pictures of Addie, who is sooo blonde it's nuts, and how she's a very polite baby. She's adorable and looks so much like Tiffany it's crazy. We talked about their cd release show and how I'm totally in and booked my next appt days before it so I'll look fab for it. We talked about dreams and our high school crushes and how I'm going to live with Sean in his van because that's what his 18 year old self thought would be sooo cool. Good times. He finished up and I called Susan as I ran up to Kay-See's to fill her in on a little bit of the Erik stuff and she told me a hopefully untrue rumor she heard about Neighbs. When I got up to K's I started telling her about Erik and showing her the texts then declared that I was starving so she assembled a big delicious plate of nachies. I gorged, but it was so good I couldn't stop. She fixed a rich thick hot chocolate with marshmallows after dinner and we got down to talking about the good stuff. Sex and boys and kissing and redheads and Belltown Billiards and Plain and how this spring and summer are going to be so fun. Chemistry, both physical and personality, we decided is very important and started constructing our lists of what we want in boys. If you put it out there it will come apparently. Flakiness, a la LPC, will not be tolerated and how the night he blew Aubs and me off we went to K's and sat up on her roof forever and how fun that was. I. Can't. Wait. For. Summer. A quarter after ten I packed up and took off for home. When I walked by Sean was still styling and I felt bad for him. Drove home and logged on, read a little of my Love Letters book then turned in.
Tuesday 1/29, I dreamt about some guy named Jamie. Who is this Jamie and where do I meet him in real life? He was tall with a semi-unruly mop and black thick framed glasses. Very cute. I didn’t work out after work because I was sore so instead I cleaned the kitchen then Ian called, as I assumed he would because of my “good” news and that the curiosity would kill him and would force him to call. So we talked for a long time and kept emphasizing “my FRIEND Sasha” which I thought was hilarious then he told me a story about her and made a comment how she got mad and I was like “As girlfriends do” and he was like “I’m ignoring that” but I was thoroughly amused with myself. We talked for a long long time and eventually the convo came to him going to Maui to visit Porter…and stay at Sasha’s Dad’s house. I just laughed and kept saying “Oh, Ian. Ohhhh Ian” like really? You wonder why I’m so crazy. And he kept saying they’re just friends even though he knows how it looks. I asked him why he’s so adamant about them always just being friends and he told me how he feels and why he feels the way he does and it made me feel a lot better and that one of his reasons is very sweet. I miss him so much. We seriously talked for a long time and it was really nice. At one point I was like “I bet you forgot how HILARIOUS I am” and he said he keeps paper and a pen by the phone every time he talks to me so he can write down all the witty things I say. After we hung up I talked to Susan and didn’t eat too much for dinner, just some veggies and pear with blue cheese. I watched Biggest Loser because I’m semi-hooked on it, though I missed a bunch of the beginning because I was in the shower. I continued working on my letter to Ian; finessing and editing and adding and deleting. I read more love letters and again some of them made me cry because they’re so beautiful and raw and just really affect me. I started thinking about bouncer Eric and was feeling rather insatiable.
Friday 2/1, I texted Erik on my lunch break and we back and forth-d a bit and when he told me he was at a dental exam I literally laughed out loud. I sent the correspondence to both Susan and Kay-See who both thought it was funny and specifically made Susan laugh. Heh. I was very tired after work so I crawled into bed and fell asleep. I was supposed to have dinner with Sos but when she called I asked if I could take a rain check because I was so tired and didn’t feel like leaving the house. She said it was fine and I tried to go back to sleep but wasn’t able so I got up and made a salad and some pasta then a little smoothie while I watched Layer Cake. Let me tell you, if there’s a night I’m feeling down all I need to do is turn on something with Daniel Craig in it (ok, not Elizabeth, he’s creepy in that) and I will feel a whole lot better. He’s sooo f-ing hot it’s not even funny. Mmm. Hmm, after that I read and eventually got to bed around midnight.
Thursday 1/31, I dreamt of B and Diana who had been peeping my windows and saw that I was walking around my house naked so she grabbed B and tried to come busting in but I'd seen her and was in the bathroom with Susan distracting while I put some clothes on and when I came out they were both so disappointed to see me clothed. Seriously, what is with these dreams? Maybe it's the medication. Warning: You will have all sorts of fucked up dreams about exes and prospective bfs. Weeeird. Is this what I have to look forward to for the next 6 months? I don't have that many bfs so we'll see who starts popping up after I run through all of them (still haven’t dreamt of Ian or Trevor or Guy, ooh, or Michael…or Randy - let’s hope that one doesn’t manifest). Mailed my love letter to Ian. I hit 22,000 page views on myspace. I feel like that's a lot until I see that my little sister has like 49,000. Talked to Sos for a few minutes before leaving work then brought Leif back to my house so he could look at the thermostat in my room and I think he may have fixed it but I can't tell yet. He said if I get a digital one that he'll put it in for me so that's awesome and I won't have to pay like $200. More like $20. Nice! I talked to Susan and whined that I didn't want to do my workout and she pointed out that Erik may be seeing me naked soon and asked if that was motivation enough. Yes Susan, yes it is. We talked about how hilarious Trevor and LPC's comments were and how I hoped Ian saw them even though I don't want to make out with either of those boys. After hanging up I got right on that video like you wouldn't believe. I was sweating my ass off by the end and my thighs were killing me. I fixed a little dinner and tidied then showered and got ready and somehow got sucked into Celebrity Apprentice or some shit. To be fair I wasn't really watching it, it was just on in the background while I surfed the net. I went over to Susan's where we strategized about boys and she said something so hilarious but I don't want to put it on here without her permission but it was something about Damon and 5 minutes and the way she said it had me in stitches. I ate a bunch of tortilla chips and we tried to find that hot sous chef's website but were unsuccessful. We headed out a little before 11, parked and went in to a very disappointing scene. No Erik and a new female bouncer in his place who asked for my id. I wanted to ask her "Don't you know who I am?!" but kept my mouth shut and got my license out. Margot was right in front of us when we went in and she was like “Oh, its you two. You’re the HOTTEST couple! I love how you dance; you put the rest of us to shame” or something, so that was very flattering then she said she was already drunk and that she’d dropped $200 at WH,BM. Later we joked about Value Village and her scores at the 80’s bin. Susan told me to ask the money guy about the Neighbs closing rumor and he said no so that made us feel better. They remodeled and moved the coat check and it's so fancy now. We went upstairs to check out the crowd and saw Tye, Susan's clapping bf, her lurker bf and that damn green shirt guy that looks like Jerry from Tower. We went down to check our coats then hit the floor. The songs were pretty good but I was bummed Erik wasn't going to be there, wahh! I Touch Myself came on and Susan did the funniest thing with her hand and the expression on her face had me dying and I fell back against the mirror I was laughing so hard. Plus Margot was super into it and really going for it. The green shirt guy was irritating already, knocking all over the place and jumping off the stage which was a sign of things to come from his dumb ass. We saw our PE bfs and they looked scrumptious as ever in their short shorts and sweatbands. We spotted a guy that looked like an imposter Richie and we didn’t have to wait long for the real Richie (with Ersi in tow) to show up. He was wearing his glasses from third grade (when he told me I was like “I can tell!”) and I was laughing so hard. Oh Richie. They were big on his face so I can’t even imagine what they looked like when he was in third grade. He showed me something disgusting on his camera, but was oddly proud of it, and when he told Susan to look I was like “Don’t look, don’t look!” so she didn’t and Ersi was like “I think it’s funny!” Richie wanted to initiate the ass pinching game so our first mark was the imposter Richie and when I did it he turned around so surprised and excited and Richie and I just laughed our asses off, he was like “I love that we do it and keep dancing with each other because they never know what to do!” then I got one of the guys who was making out but didn’t get much reaction so I got a short guy behind Richie and I lingered too long and I think he saw my hand and was all irritated even though Richie was taking the heat. Then came tight-white-pants guy and I gave a hearty grab and he whipped around to one side then angrily whipped around to the other only to scowl at Richie and we both almost died as I impersonated him. He was so mad! Richie went to find Ersi then I wanted to ask my fav bartender where Erik was so I left Susan, waited for him to be done helping other patrons then went in for the kill. He got my water ready as he does automatically now and I asked him if Erik was working and he said he hadn’t seen him yet which probably meant no, which just meant that he got to have me all to himself accompanied by sly look. Then I told him I saw him on the Neighbs profile and introduced myself and he said it was a pleasure. It was so cute. I <3 him. Back out onto the floor to dance with Susan and we moved around to find a good spot and ended up on the back end of the floor. It wasn’t long before Richie found us again and asked us who we would sleep with within our line of vision, but there weren’t many so I picked this guy up on the balcony and Richie looked at me so disapprovingly and shook his head so I defensively yelled “Well, there are no cute guys here tonight!” then Susan pointed out her scarf wearing bf and Richie was all super approving of HER choice so I sat there with my arms crossed and pouted and he laughed his Richie laugh. I then spotted two cute blonde boys behind me and said I changed my answer to either of them. I told Richie about Erik and he was like “I heard! He’s SO hot, I’ve asked him sooo many times if he’s gay!” then he saw some guy he knew and said he was going to go make out so we danced for a few more minutes then said we were going to take off. We did kisses then got our coats and passed Big C (hmm, that’s confusing per something Andy told us) and started out. This HOT boy came out of the bathroom just as we were leaving and we both slowed down and craned our necks around then laughed all the way out. Birds of a feather. We walked quickly to our cars and I didn’t have any texts, hmpf.
Wednesday 1/30, No sex dreams from what I can remember. Finally. A little while after I got home I was trying to get some things cleaned up and got a text and figured it would be from Susan or Kay-See or Ian or something. Nope. It was from Erik (bouncer from Neighbs who I've been calling "Eric") and he was asking how I was. I was delighted and got all giddy and wrote back that I was about to hop in the shower. He wrote back that he'd just gotten out (laugh!) and I responded that at least we were both clean and that has to count for something. I asked him what was up and he sent this back:
I'm well, actually, I'm taking a month off the club to decide if I want to keep working the nite life or not. With that, I'm actually able to have a life and wondering with my new freedom if you would like to go on a date with me sometime? :)
How adorable is he? I wrote back that I don't think I've ever been asked out on a proper date and that I was going to enthusiastically say yes. We continued to text regarding days off, his other job and my attentiveness to what he tells me when we talk at the club and food preferences. I got ready and headed in to my appointment with Sean. I was a little early but that was good so I could text Erik back. I flipped through some sex card questions I bought a long time ago and have never really looked at so I thought they would be fun to take to Kay-See's so we could peruse for the next T or D session. Because let me tell you, there are some good truths in there. Anyway, so Sean was ready for me and asked why I was so hyper and jumpy so I started in about the boy stuff. We went over the pictures I brought and got down to business. He asked about Eric and Ian and I told him my theory about boys whose names start with vowels and how they're good for me. And he's like, or not; which I laughed at and agreed with. He asked about Kassie and the fam and lots of stuff. We joked about him slapping Aubrie's ass as she left his hotel room and telling her to say hi to Aunt Martha or someone for him. I asked him how his little fam is doing and looked all his pictures of Addie, who is sooo blonde it's nuts, and how she's a very polite baby. She's adorable and looks so much like Tiffany it's crazy. We talked about their cd release show and how I'm totally in and booked my next appt days before it so I'll look fab for it. We talked about dreams and our high school crushes and how I'm going to live with Sean in his van because that's what his 18 year old self thought would be sooo cool. Good times. He finished up and I called Susan as I ran up to Kay-See's to fill her in on a little bit of the Erik stuff and she told me a hopefully untrue rumor she heard about Neighbs. When I got up to K's I started telling her about Erik and showing her the texts then declared that I was starving so she assembled a big delicious plate of nachies. I gorged, but it was so good I couldn't stop. She fixed a rich thick hot chocolate with marshmallows after dinner and we got down to talking about the good stuff. Sex and boys and kissing and redheads and Belltown Billiards and Plain and how this spring and summer are going to be so fun. Chemistry, both physical and personality, we decided is very important and started constructing our lists of what we want in boys. If you put it out there it will come apparently. Flakiness, a la LPC, will not be tolerated and how the night he blew Aubs and me off we went to K's and sat up on her roof forever and how fun that was. I. Can't. Wait. For. Summer. A quarter after ten I packed up and took off for home. When I walked by Sean was still styling and I felt bad for him. Drove home and logged on, read a little of my Love Letters book then turned in.
Tuesday 1/29, I dreamt about some guy named Jamie. Who is this Jamie and where do I meet him in real life? He was tall with a semi-unruly mop and black thick framed glasses. Very cute. I didn’t work out after work because I was sore so instead I cleaned the kitchen then Ian called, as I assumed he would because of my “good” news and that the curiosity would kill him and would force him to call. So we talked for a long time and kept emphasizing “my FRIEND Sasha” which I thought was hilarious then he told me a story about her and made a comment how she got mad and I was like “As girlfriends do” and he was like “I’m ignoring that” but I was thoroughly amused with myself. We talked for a long long time and eventually the convo came to him going to Maui to visit Porter…and stay at Sasha’s Dad’s house. I just laughed and kept saying “Oh, Ian. Ohhhh Ian” like really? You wonder why I’m so crazy. And he kept saying they’re just friends even though he knows how it looks. I asked him why he’s so adamant about them always just being friends and he told me how he feels and why he feels the way he does and it made me feel a lot better and that one of his reasons is very sweet. I miss him so much. We seriously talked for a long time and it was really nice. At one point I was like “I bet you forgot how HILARIOUS I am” and he said he keeps paper and a pen by the phone every time he talks to me so he can write down all the witty things I say. After we hung up I talked to Susan and didn’t eat too much for dinner, just some veggies and pear with blue cheese. I watched Biggest Loser because I’m semi-hooked on it, though I missed a bunch of the beginning because I was in the shower. I continued working on my letter to Ian; finessing and editing and adding and deleting. I read more love letters and again some of them made me cry because they’re so beautiful and raw and just really affect me. I started thinking about bouncer Eric and was feeling rather insatiable.
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