Saturday 3/29, I woke up with the objective of getting my oil changed and then heading into work but I decided to put off the car stuff and just head into work in case Chrystol called and wanted to hang out with the boys because I knew she had to work at 5 and if I waited to go to work it would be too late for me to go over in time to catch her. I’m such a planner! So I got to work by 9:15, worked until 12:15, talked to Susan on the way home and made possible plans for the evening and next day as I headed home. Started lunch (steamed carrots and green beans, brie and baguette) and Chrystol called and said I could come in if I wanted or wait until the next day because she thought Eric was staying the night and we would have more time to hang out then. Frankly I didn’t have anything else going on so I was leaning toward going over that afternoon even if it was only for a few hours. I made a comment about him thinking I’m probably crazy and she was like “…Noo…I’d say you’re mutually interested in each other” and I was like “Oh, rEALy?” then she elaborated a bit telling me how he had referred to me as his “lady” earlier when Chrystol told him to guess who had to come over to pick up her cat things and how he asked her if he was supposed to ask me for my number or what. Suddenly all the K and R stuff was out of my head and I was giddy with anticipation. I told her I would call her later and ate my lunch and showered and got ready. I called her back and told her I was going to come into Seattle and she told me to come to Goodwill because they’d just arrived. I found Chrystol perusing the jeans and I helped her carry her finds once she started on the shoes. I told her about Ian and Max and she told me about her and Mara’s sleepover and B’s law school prom. We made it over to the house wares, which is my favorite. I was scouring the glasses and Chrystol found some beautiful plates from Spain then Eric walked by the aisle and my phone rang at the same second and it was Dad so as I was giving Eric an enthusiastic hi and all giddy with that Dad thought I was saying hi to him and was like “Hi KB!” so we chatted for a minute and I told him what I was doing then hung up and checked out what the guys had scored. Chrystol had a tote filled by this point and I offered to get a basket. I found three glasses (one says “Harrah’s” which is so close to my name I had to get it) and cut myself off from the dishes, despite Chrystol’s persistent encouragement. The boys and I were looking at nautically themed mugs, glasses and shot glasses and Eric asked if I had a theme room or something and I told him no but something about seamen. That’s seamen with an “A,” I clarified. He’s like “Well I’m a terrible speller” and we all started making semen jokes. Schuyler was like “I’d like to leave out the “A” if it’s all the same to you” then Eric again “I like to pretend the “A” is silent”. So that was great. I ended up in the travel section and picked up a slightly outdated Rick Steves’ Ireland guidebook. Met up with the others again and we all joked and followed each other around the store and eventually Chrystol and I ended up at the dressing rooms snacking on caramels (because I’d stashed the entire bag in my purse - it’s that huge) so she could try some stuff on. I was keeping watch on the loot and Eric popped up eating a Twix and I offered him a caramel and pulled out the bag and he thought that was hilarious. I told him about my trip to CA and Kassie and he suggested J would get his own hotel room and run up a bunch of room charges from porn and raiding the minibar and would come out the next morning with his bow time akimbo and stuff down the front of his chest. We were both laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe. Then we discussed how I would arrange with the front desk for a gigolo to visit my hotel room and put on my credit card. He’s just so funny it’s an extremely charming and attractive trait. Chrystol emerged and we made our way to the front to check out and she was horrified when her total came up. Checking out, Eric asked if I was going to Ireland and I said yes and he asked if I was going by myself and I said no, I’m taking my cat and he said the cat could wear a top hat. I drove everyone back and Chrystol did a fashion show and Schuyler foraged for a 9-volt battery for Eric’s mystery purchase. He finally assembled it and let er rip. Literally. It was a remote controlled fart machine with like 13 different fart sounds. We were all crying we were laughing so hard. Especially when he put it under Chrystol’s chair and pushed the button just as she was sitting down. It was hilarious and we were laughing even harder because we were laughing so hard in the first place. It was so fun. So pretty soon Chrystol and Schuyler are bustling about the house and had left Eric and me in the living room to talk and we were cracking each other up. The candy conversation with the “fallen soldiers” popping up out of the ash tray made me laugh. He started writing my name on a piece of paper but put “Kara” I was like “Nope” then he put “Cara” and I was like “Nope” then he put a bunch of Russian letters then wrote “John” and looked at me for approval. I laughed and told him it was the same as Harrah’s. C and S decided to go to the store to get something to eat and S asked us if we wanted to go too and I was like “Um, I’m ok” and apparently Eric just looked down at the piece of paper with my name on it. So we kept going on my name and he put an extra “A” on the end and when I told him it was an “H” he was like “I just thought your parents had a thing for vowels” then was like “Um, I was wondering if I could get your number” and I was like “Sure!” so that was cute. Then he got the number wrong so we had to start over. We continued talking and discussed the rental car he was given when the Rover was in the shop and they gave him a sea foam green Taurus and was telling the story like he was the guy “You know, like the dinosaur” and I was like, wait, there was a dinosaur called a Taurus? Are you sure? Then we started cracking up because he meant Stegosaurus and the thought of some rental car guy thinking a car and dinosaur were the same made us laugh even harder. Right at that moment C and S returned and we were dying. The fart machine was brought back out and we discussed all the practical places it could be used to embarrass perfect strangers, or even friends: movie theater, church, board meetings (taped to the underside of a chair), on a first date to embarrass the lady you’re eating with then comment boisterously to the waiter “Well I certainly think she enjoyed the crab cakes!” or something equally ridiculous. There were all sorts. It was time for Chrystol to go baby-sit so I took off too and Eric said he would call me and I said by to Schuyler and C and I walked out and chatted for a minute then I took off. I called Mom to see if she was home to go over there and she was and she’d just finished some chili and told me to come over. Chrystol called as I was squealing and clapping my hands at a red light because I was so excited and was like “I’m sure Schuyler’s gotten the scoop by now, and I want it too!” so I told her and she said that after they’d walked out that Schuyler had commented on how awkward it was with them leaving. I told C that it was fine after they left and that we’d talked the whole time and that it was all good. We discussed the proper amount of time guys are supposed to wait to call and that if he calls at the wrong time to blame her as she’d probably given him incorrect advice. I told her my expectations are fairly low based on the track record I’ve managed to rack up. We hung up and I went over to Mom’s, stomach growling, and walked in declaring “I’m hungry! Feed me!” so she scooped some up and I topped with tortilla chips and cheese for a little crunch and creaminess. I hung there for a few hours talking to Mom and Dad and telling them about Eric and discussing other fun things. I talked to Susan who said she would go to the Tennis Pro show with me so I left around 7:45 for her house and laid in her bed for a while watching “Catch Me if You Can” and laughed when Leonardo swindled Jennifer Garner. We decided against the TP show because it was snowing and freezing and parking would be a bitch and instead decided on Everyday Music so I could get a cd for Kassie. Too bad they didn’t have the one I wanted, so I had to improvise and picked up a couple low priced ones for myself. Joan Jett being one of them. We walked around looking at cds and laughing forever, especially when she was like “I’m entitled” so then I started saying it “I’m Susan, I’m entitled. I.e., delusional!” There was some song that Susan said was my theme song because it said “(Hurt Me! Hurt Me!) But the Pants Stay On” and we cackled manically. So true. We thoroughly scoured the cd inventory, made our purchases and headed back to Susan’s listening to “Do You Want to Touch (Oh Yeah!)”. I dropped her off and headed home because I was very tired and watched some of SNL, updated this and went to bed.

Friday 3/28, I stopped at Fred Meyer to pick up my prescription and also some chips, brie and French bread. I also passed the candy aisle and snagged a bag of caramels because I’ve had a hankering lately. In fact, I ate 4 on the trip home alone. I started cleaning a bit when I got home and K called to ask if I wanted her to pick up some Labello, and I did, so she did. I showered, got ready, checked traffic and hit the road a bit before 7. Parking was a cinch and I’d chatted with Chrystol on the way in and she told me I could come by the next day to get J’s collar and stuff and that Eric would be there, ooh la la. Ky was already there and we got right down to eating pizza, pico and chips, bread and cheese then the baked raspberry and brie stuffed phyllo wraps. I called K out on R and she didn’t say much but that she’s happy, which I didn’t believe at all, and I’m not exactly sure how she expects me to believe. I’m really sad about the whole thing because she deserves so much better and is sooo dating down it’s not even funny. I wouldn’t care as much if he didn’t drag her self-esteem down in the process. Topic was changed and we continued to eat a lot and Michelle showed up and more talking and laughing ensued. I showed her the guy I cut out of a magazine and brought over for K for her to remember the kind of guy she deserves. I showed Michelle and she said he kind of looks like an asshole, but then again that’s K’s type, then says to K “So K, how’s Ryan?” Like, speaking of assholes, how’s Ryan? Snap! Again she didn’t say much. I ate a ton and felt sick so we all laid on the floor and let the food digest. I told them about Max and Erik and Ky commented that I made out with his penis and I laughed forever. Especially after he demonstrated. R was brought up again and I was making snarky comments and she asked me if I was always going to be like this and I don’t think I said anything, but I know in my head I’ll always be making comments and being judgemental. I hate him and there’s no real getting around that. Subject was changed again to something not so controversial and we all eventually started getting sleepy so we packed up our things and headed out. I took Michelle home and she said that she’s not happy about Ryan either but she’s just being silent about it so I’m going to try and do the same but am not promising that being bitchy once or twice won’t occur. I festered all the way home and was completely consumed by how awful I find the situation. I went to bed not too long after I returned home.

Thursday 3/27, I got home a bit early so I put on my walking clothes since it was so nice and went for a walk / run and ran most of it but felt so exhausted. Back at home I tooled around a bit and eventually hopped in the shower and washed my hair. I made a salad with green peppers then steamed some carrots, broccoli and green beans which were soo good. I reheated the last little bit of HH while watching Jeopardy. I watched Dr. Phil then Oprah and have decided that I love Seal and Heidi Klum, but mostly Seal. THAT'S how a man should treat his lady. Take notes stupid R. I had some ice cream and M&Ms too. I finally started getting ready but my hair was awful so I decided to try and straighten it. Susan called and we made plans for meeting up then I finished prepping and headed out the door with a hat on to flatten my hair out and it totally worked (thanks Sean!) and my hair looked way cuter than when I left the house. I beat Susan and she couldn't park there so we circled the block and decided on a spot on Broadway and as we're walking toward the club we see this Audi sitting in the "No Parking" spots and we're both like, "That's not a spot!" and "Nice try, I'd like to see you park there!" then I was like "Give me the keys and I'll take it off your hands, haha!" then I look in and Max is waving at us. I didn't recognize him right away then ran up to the window and said hi and he said he saw us walking down Broadway then said he'd see me inside and sped off. I was like "That is SO hot!" that car is fucking nice. It makes me see Max in a whole new light. He's got his shit together and Mama likes that. Susan just rolled her eyes when I started talking like that. Of course that also meant he was going to be inside and probably asking me about dancing. I stomped on the grate after Susan pointed that out. I was interested to see if Erik would be working and of course he wasn't so now I'm convinced he's avoiding me. But whatever, I've been avoiding him too. I just think it's funny that I've run him out of Neighbours. No wand inappropriateness at the door and the door boy said he liked my hair so that was fun. We went in and straight upstairs where we met Damon and talked about the crowd. We spotted a dramatic girl with all sorts of exotic moves that made me laugh and point. Tye was wearing his leopard velvet pants and I gave him a wave, but other than that there weren't really any regulars besides the "girls". We checked our coats and went back upstairs because it was warm up there but eventually made it down. The lack-of-space-respecting guy was back in full force and I wanted to punch him several times. Susan danced facing Max taking one for the team and luckily that left me with a view of the Kyle-resembling go-go dancing boy in the cage. Alright! Damon joined us off and on and watched from afar when Max migrated over. Susan had warned me that he was wearing a mesh shirt with nipples blazing but I don't think anything she said could have prepared me. I felt like a horny teenage boy and couldn't not look. I tried to be sneaky but I felt like I was being really obvious even though I didn't even get that good of a look. Jeez. He asked me if I'd been in Whistler the other weekend and asked if I'd been to some club then said he liked my hair and that he wants to flat iron his too. I kept catching Damon's eye and he was just sitting there watching and smiling. I'm sure it was all very entertaining. Susan kept dancing closer and closer to me and eventually when Pump Up the Jam or whatever came on he took off. We stood on the sidelines and talked and people watched and I spotted Susan's bf from the Comet show but lost him and couldn't point him out to her. Eventually I went back out by myself but the ridiculous dancing guy was all up in my space and I just stood there and pretended to push him. Susan laughed from afar then some guy in a leather jacket asked me if I needed someone to dance with and I quickly said I didn't and he was like "Ok" and walked away. Nice! Finally a guy who gets it. I moved places because the dancing guy was irritating me too much and Susan's Comet bf went up on the stage and I was just cracking up watching him, and had like, a front row seat. He saw me watching him and laughing and was like "Come up here!" and I was like "I don't think so" then he motioned like if I wanted him to come down there and I shook my head then he told me to go up there again. No way. Ha, it was soo funny. I was dying. Obviously he didn't remember who I was. Susan came back out and eventually Damon too and Von Trapp played Kids in America per Damon's request and told me to pump my fist in the air to the "Wah-oh!" parts, so I did, but super exaggeratedly. The drag show started so we fled and after about 10 minutes of it I saw Max leave. Susan saw Jeff come in with a girl then I saw Teal with two girls. The three of us continued laughing and talking and I asked them if I started booing if they would join in and they said they would but I couldn't muster it. It's so bad, and they're so looooong. If they were 10 minutes I could deal, but 20, 25, 30 minutes? NO, I cannot deal! So after 20 minutes I got my coat, said hi to Teal and Jeff who were in the back (Jeff was missing his lip ring) and talked with them for a minute about the show then said bye to Susan and D and took off. I booked it all the way to my car and was panting by the time I got there. Drove home and it took a while to get to sleep.

Wednesday 3/26, LPC cancelled halfway through the day due to some Vampire Weekend tickets he came into midday. It was ok because I was super super tired. I went home and instead of exercising changed into comfy clothes and laid around. I steamed a ton of vegetables (broccoli, carrots and green beans) and reheated HH for dinner. I showered then fixed a banana split and gorged on animal crackers. Which I'm pretty sure will be the death of me. I watched ANTM and can't stand Dominique. I returned an email to Julien and hopefully I'll get to see him and his little fam soon since they moved to Madison Park. I made it through a few magazines and went to bed a little early because I was tired and had my dr. appt. early in the morning.

Tuesday 3/25, I got off work early and went to the antique shop and picked up a marble sting ray for Kassie’s birthday then over to Looks for a card for Ian and found two good ones and need to ask Kay-See and Ky which one they think I should give him. I talked to Kassie for a while and got an idea or two for her birthday present(s). I went to QFC and got groceries, including a lot of veggies which I was looking forward to consuming over the course of the week. I made a big salad and some Lasagna HH and added some green pepper and a tomato right at the end for a little extra flavor. I decided to head out for present shopping and went to Best Buy first where I got a little something for both Kassie and Ian for their birthdays since I'm going to be seeing them in the next week. I called Ian for some suggestions but he didn't answer so I left a message. Then I popped over to the mall to return a shirt and pick up some more Jack Black lip stuff because it's like smoothing heaven onto my lips. I headed home and watched Biggest Loser and was semi-glad when Dan was sent home. Ian called and asked if everything was ok and that I'd sounded depressed but I told him that I was just in a store and that everything it great, no worries. He said he'd email me some music suggestions and that he's in love with Bon Iver at the moment and that he was amazing in concert. Nothing else really. Went to bed a bit late.