Friday 5/26, Schuyler came to Peggy’s to do yard work so we talked for a little while and how I felt so much better after talking with Chrystol so he was glad about that and gave me a nice hug. Um…after work I might have taken a walk or something but I don’t remember, but around 8:00 Susan and I went to Kassie’s to hang out and so I could download her pictures onto my computer but my computer didn’t work and was getting all fucked up so I couldn’t. We didn’t do much except look at pictures from her party and watch the video and play certain parts in slow motion over and over again. We went home around 10:30 and went to bed.
Thursday 5/25, I felt so awful all day because it felt like we had broken up all over again and I still didn’t have any answers besides that I “don’t exercise enough” and that I'm not “intellectually stimulating” boy, look, I even spelled those big words without the spell check coming on. Whatever, so I felt terrible all day and tried not to cry at work. I did call him to apologize for some of the things I had said and also to see if he would put my car battery in that weekend and he agreed and told me what I said was understandable and that as long as I didn’t do it every day that it was ok. That night Chrystol called and we talked for probably an hour and a half. I felt sooo much better and pretty much did a 180° with how I was feeling. We talked about what a hypocrite B is and how he’s narcissistic (I even spelled that one right) and he doesn’t do anything that doesn’t have some benefit to himself. I think about some of the shit he did at my house and to my car and it makes my blood boil now but I know it’s because he really doesn’t care if he fucks something up that belongs to someone else because it doesn’t affect him. So for the first time since he’d broken up with me I went to bed and didn’t cry and got a great night’s sleep.
Wednesday 5/24, I think I went on a walk after work but I can’t remember for sure and was starting to feel better until B called around 8:40 or so. I had so many questions and things I wanted to say to him but couldn’t do so without crying a whole lot and losing my shit on more than one occasion. He couldn’t give any good reason why he broke up with me and said he just feels different and that he doesn’t think we’ll have enough time with each other when he starts school, but also didn’t want to even try to see if it would work. He started to say something about Chrystol and Schuyler but stopped and said he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I told him the damage was pretty much done and that whatever he had to say wouldn’t push me over the edge. He still wouldn’t tell me. He really didn’t have much to say and I just ranted a lot and just kept saying, “I can’t believe this, I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me” he says he just tries to push the thoughts out of his head. Around 10:00 he said he had to go to bed and I just sobbed for the rest of the night and slept like shit.
Tuesday 5/23, Kept getting daily check up calls from everyone. Not feeling any better just sad and really down and crying a lot. Had my Home Owners Meeting where everyone voted down the original amount and proposed one for less, so I’ll end up owing about $6,300 instead of $10,300.
Monday 5/22, I worked and just felt sad all day. I couldn’t eat without feeling sick and didn’t have much of an appetite anyway. I talked to Julien for a while and that made me feel a little better. Talked to Courtney too and she was pretty shocked. I don’t remember much else.
Thursday 5/25, I felt so awful all day because it felt like we had broken up all over again and I still didn’t have any answers besides that I “don’t exercise enough” and that I'm not “intellectually stimulating” boy, look, I even spelled those big words without the spell check coming on. Whatever, so I felt terrible all day and tried not to cry at work. I did call him to apologize for some of the things I had said and also to see if he would put my car battery in that weekend and he agreed and told me what I said was understandable and that as long as I didn’t do it every day that it was ok. That night Chrystol called and we talked for probably an hour and a half. I felt sooo much better and pretty much did a 180° with how I was feeling. We talked about what a hypocrite B is and how he’s narcissistic (I even spelled that one right) and he doesn’t do anything that doesn’t have some benefit to himself. I think about some of the shit he did at my house and to my car and it makes my blood boil now but I know it’s because he really doesn’t care if he fucks something up that belongs to someone else because it doesn’t affect him. So for the first time since he’d broken up with me I went to bed and didn’t cry and got a great night’s sleep.
Wednesday 5/24, I think I went on a walk after work but I can’t remember for sure and was starting to feel better until B called around 8:40 or so. I had so many questions and things I wanted to say to him but couldn’t do so without crying a whole lot and losing my shit on more than one occasion. He couldn’t give any good reason why he broke up with me and said he just feels different and that he doesn’t think we’ll have enough time with each other when he starts school, but also didn’t want to even try to see if it would work. He started to say something about Chrystol and Schuyler but stopped and said he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I told him the damage was pretty much done and that whatever he had to say wouldn’t push me over the edge. He still wouldn’t tell me. He really didn’t have much to say and I just ranted a lot and just kept saying, “I can’t believe this, I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me” he says he just tries to push the thoughts out of his head. Around 10:00 he said he had to go to bed and I just sobbed for the rest of the night and slept like shit.
Tuesday 5/23, Kept getting daily check up calls from everyone. Not feeling any better just sad and really down and crying a lot. Had my Home Owners Meeting where everyone voted down the original amount and proposed one for less, so I’ll end up owing about $6,300 instead of $10,300.
Monday 5/22, I worked and just felt sad all day. I couldn’t eat without feeling sick and didn’t have much of an appetite anyway. I talked to Julien for a while and that made me feel a little better. Talked to Courtney too and she was pretty shocked. I don’t remember much else.
posted by Karrah at 5:26 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home